Wednesday, July 11, 2007

This is sooo typical Oklahoma

UPDATE TO THE UPDATE: So, last night I go out for a tiny drink at the only bar on the west side of Norman. I'm sitting, enjoying my Flying Dog whatever because OK has no decent beer (I would have preferred a Harpoon UFO or perhaps a Magic Hat #9) when a man clad in a red polo makes his way out onto the patio. He begins trying to move two heavy tables together at the same time. He starts cursing at the umbrellas (eh eh eh). I offer him my help. Bob Stoops looks up at me and says, I've got it. Wait, can you move this chair? And I do. Then he sits, a waitress brings him a huge glass of red wine and I'm 94% sure he shared a cigar with some old guy who comes to join him with a bunch of drunkish middle aged men. We totally made eye contact at least once. Oh yeah. Looks like he's not taking this whole thing too hard.

UPDATE: I've been thinking about this and I think something new. Which is a big step considering my drug and internet addled brain. It's not Oklahoma that's fucktarded, it's the NCAA. Who the hell cares if these kids did or didn't do work for a few thousand bucks - perhaps the rule itself needs examination. Chances are the OU cheerleaders have made more than that on Girls Gone Wild or at least at some frat party for a triple kiss™. There are worse things, for sure. HOWEVER, the thing is, games are games because of rules and rules were broken (regardless of rationality), therefore punishment. Also, what do you expect when you name your kid Rhett?


http://www.peteykins.com/sparklepics3/CNNScreenshot121906.jpg

This actually has nothing to do with Allen Iverson, but it is sports related. OU is fucktarded.

NCAA: Oklahoma must vacate 2005 season; Sooners to appeal

Seriously dudes, did we learn nothing from the Switzer years? I did and I was 8.

http://images.burntorangenation.com/images/admin/bomar1.jpg

Thanks buddy.

29 comments:

Alex said...

oh thank goodness. the allen iverson thing scared me. as for ou...

they came down a bit hard on us and honestly, the appeal should be able to lesson the blow to the program, because the punishment is quite ridiculous when you take into account what is happening at other programs (in particular, USC. fuck you pete carroll. you hear me!). ill stop talking now.

Michael5000 said...

Oh hell yeah! We just won the 2005 Holiday Bowl, too!

Go Ducks!

blythe said...

alex - they did not come down hard on us, they came down easy on us. we should know better. blah blah blah. how come whenever i live in the state, my season tickets go to waste (hello jon blake years), but when i'm elsewhere, we win the championship? tell me this.

michael5000 - ...

heaubeau said...

I am upset about having to relive some of the most painful days in my existence due to Mr. Bomar's poor judgement and the evil Brad whatshisface' (of Big Red Sports & Imports) lack of hiding his tracks. So instead I will say this:

Remember slap bracelets?
I have an OU slap koozie, and that pleases me everytime I think about it.

heaubeau said...

blythe - you were not here for all the shenanigans i guess, we turned ourselves in and kicked his ass off the team right before the season started, that was plenty of punishment in itself.

Mr. Shain said...

i just dont want to hear about it aaaaaaall fall this year.

Anonymous said...

Given how arbitrary the NCAA can be with its sanctions, I think that Oklahoma came off quite easy. If they think appealing this will either save face or bring about a different result, they're nuts. They should accept the sanction without fanfare ("The NCAA investigation was thorough, we've taken steps to make sure that such oversights are never repeated," etc.) and be grateful that the NCAA's magic-eight-ball oversight didn't come down with a tougher sanction, fair or not.

Michael5000 said...

My apologies. Dreadfully unsporting of me.

Dan Nolan said...

look at that fucking guy. what a meatbox.

I have to agree with crimenotes here. losing two scholarships isn't the end of the world. They should be able to field some pretty good teams without those 2 scholarships. And in a weak conference like the Big 12, they'll still be a contender.

blythe said...

beau - i see your point, but i also remember what it was like back in the early 90s with the no tv business. that sucked.

shain - you're coming to the games with me, right? season ticket holder right here.

crimenotes - exactly. slap on the wrist in the grand scheme of things. but, in true oklahoma style, we'll probably piss someone off with our repeal and end up forfeiting the season or something stupid. but hey, that would be better for traffic, so hmm.

michael500 - nah. it's ok.

dan - word. except for the part where you said the big 12 is a weak conference. we will fight.

stew said...

uhhh, I am really lost and don't know what any of this is about, but I think a relevant comment that I can make is that yes, I would do him.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

I haven't the faintest idea what you are talking about in this post.

PS - You are guest posting for me in the next 10 days or so, right?

blythe said...

stewpid - i'd def. get tested.

cherry - of course!!

blythe said...

whoa now alex, this is primarily a crap blog, not a sports blog. that said, i smell what you're cookin'

Alex said...

not a sports blog? you mean the touching story of your dad heating water up for you to swim in wasn't a metaphor for the the Marshall offensive line carrying Byron Leftwich down the field between plays after he broke his leg during the Akron game a few years ago? you know, someone helping a loved one in need? well dammit, this is one wacky game show!

and you'll have to excuse me. we're in the rough patch of each year with nothing going on in the world of sports, so any oppurtunity to go off on something is taken a bit to eagerly. i hope you can find it in your robot heart to forgive me.

Mr. Shain said...

also, blythe, don't think that we don't all realize how you're pandering to the sports crowd with this one.

blythe said...

sooner born and sooner bred and when i die i'm sooner dead.

heaubeau said...

alex - they CAN change history, a whole season worth apparently. This will be my last comment for this particular blog entry, I find myself getting too riled up by the subject.

blythe - I am a little surprised you reported news on a Wednesday and did not call it Goulet Wednesday News Roundup.

Dan Nolan said...

just playin'. Big 12 is always dope. I'm all Big 10 and SEC up in this mu'fucka, but I gots to give big ups and mad props to y'all in the One Two. y'heard?

Dan Nolan said...

Also, I cried like a red hat society member at a viewing of Terms of Endearment when the O-line carried Leftwich down the field; I wasn't so moved by blythe's dad giving her a bagel in the bathroom. Did he even put butter on it? I forget.

Also # 2 - that dude's neck is literally wider than his head. that's not possible without steroids.

JulieGong said...

I have no idea what is going on but really I don't care. And I mean that in the nicest way possible.

Jess said...

Losing football scholarships doesn't hurt as bad as losing basketball scholarships. Well, in a proportional sense, anyway.

It could be worse -- at least it wasn't an academic cheating scandal. I think the Golden Gophers are finally going to start pulling out of that haze. And I don't care what you say, NCAA. I was there that season. I watched Bobby Jackson lead the Gophers to the Big Ten Championship and into the Final Four. I HAVE A FINAL FOUR T-SHIRT TO PROVE IT.

Anonymous said...

I think this is the first time I've commented on here, so if sports-related pandering is what it takes, I think you should open fire.

As to this comment: we're still better than the fucking pac or big 10.

Dude, are you fucking kidding me? Are you completely retarded or just trying to be provocative? First, the perennial squabbling about league conferences is by and large a farce. The SEC, Big 12 and Big 10 are all consistently strong. Whenever someone throws down this gauntlet (on whatever side) it reeks of regional parochialism. Texas had a tremendous year under Vince Young -- that was it. Otherwise, the Big 12, like the Big 10 and the SEC, perenially has two major powers; a rotating handful of teams that are capable of upsets, moments of brilliance and creativity and respectability; and a collection of runts. The SEC has more parity at the top, inasmuch as Auburn, Florida and LSU seem to trade off the hegemon role, whereas the Big 10 and Big 12 each have two schools that sustain dominance.

But the offhand comment was retarded. Michigan and Ohio State got embarrassed in bowl season, but Oklahoma got embarrassed by a mid-major.

Anonymous said...

Also, you should have hooked up with Bob Stoops.

Mr. Shain said...

also, she probably did hook up with Bob Stoops

Alex said...

if my two options are provocative and retarded, ill go with retarded. i admit, it was a retarded homer statement made in the heat of the moment. and i agree, battling over conference dominance is a superfluous argument that generally/always leads nowhere. being in oklahoma (and more accurately, following college football in oklahoma) is like living in a sports bubble. everyone here (media included) is notoriously biased toward state/conference schools and we live in constant terror of the alleged east/west coast bias. you'll have to excuse me form time to time.

as far as the boise game. unfortunately, that wasn't too big of a shocker to half the people around here. the team has grown increasingly cocky over the last few years and it tends to bite them in the ass. if you've watched OU at all in recent years, you'll notice that they usually play to the level of their competition (sometimes not for the whole game, but for extended portions of it). and when a team with superior/equal talent (USC, Texas) comes along they get their asses handed to them. or a less talented team with some fight in them (Oregon, LSU, K-State, Boise) appears, and they still lose, whether it be by letting the other team hang around, or letting said team dictate tempo. well, i suppose Oregon is a weird example, but the bottomline is OU allowed that scenario to take place by not playing any defense in the last minute of that game. and for K-State and LSU, Jason White may or may not be a choker. jury is still out around here. and im out of excuses. i should stop talking.

i guess that's all there is to say. i concede this round to you good sir. i look forward to doing pointless sports battle with you in the future!

and blythe, i could be wrong, but i'm pretty sure his shirt was black. or i might be blind. or retarded. the latter has been established.

blythe said...

it was black. you were right. i just wanted it to be red. also, i'm color blind. not really. and it's not a laughing matter if you are, i know. i mean i don't know because i'm not color blind, but you know what i mean.

CrimeNotes said...

I appreciate the statement, Alex. Generally, after the Big 10, the Big 12 is the conference I follow most and enjoy watching. It hit a nerve. Besides, I like to fight in blog comments.

My site is 49 days away from becoming a hotbed of football-related screeching, segueing into left-wing elections-related tirades.

blythe said...

i can't wait! no really, i can't.