Friday, September 29, 2006

work is killing my brain

in an effort to prevent myself from stabbing my eyes out with a staple remover due to an extreme case of boredom, i have stumbled upon the following sites. check 'em out.

Lost Keys
Art Pad
The Shirt
Condiment Fun
Unusual Deaths
Bush Speechwriter
Custom Road Sign

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

I'm all about outsourcing (and AJ Jacobs)

Read This


Pledge Drive: No More "Bloggers with Laptops" Photos


from Gawker:

A series of news-search accidents lead us to this article and accompanying photo of "[h]ome improvement blogger, Bill Chapman, and his wife, Gay." Nothing against the Chapmans, or homes, or improvements, but this photo is really the last straw. Torturously posed photos of bloggers with laptops have become so common, so de rigueur, that we just roll over and accept them now. Bill Chapman is bloggin' right from that sawhorse! Lookit, he's bloggin' about drywall now. No more complacency. We want to assemble a gallery of these photos for public ridicule. Maybe we'll run a poll, or a contest, or just a hall of shame. Regardless, send your major media bloggers-with-laptops photos to Remember, we're looking for pose. Bloggers at conferences don't count, nor any other situation when the subject might actually be blogging. We want photos that bleed artifice, and we only want them from consequential media organizations or blogs associated with same.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Friends don't let friends go shopping

so, alabracadabra, siobhlog, etc, when i say, let's go to the mall, or you say, want to take a quick trip to anthropologie? NO. the answer is no. always NO. well, unless they're having a sale.

now you try. it's fun!

Your Life: The Soundtrack
Opening credits:the lady is a tramp - frank sinatra
Waking up:here comes the sun - the beatles
Average day:you can't always get what you want - the stones
First date:how come you don't call me anymore? - prince
Falling in love:this is the first day of my life - bright eyes
Love scene:give me a reason to love you - portishead
Fight scene:mama said knock you out - ll cool j
Breaking up:crooked teeth - death cab for cutie
Getting back together:i want you back - jackson 5
Secret love:secret heart - feist
Life's okay:like humans do - talking heads
Mental breakdown:breathe me - sia
Driving:road - nick drake
Learning a lesson:throw it all away - zero 7
Deep thought:the district sleeps alone tonight - postal service
Flashback:i am a rock - simon & garfunkle
Partying:i just wanna love you - jay z
Happy dance:push the little daisies - ween
Regreting:i still haven't found what i'm looking for - u2
Long night alone:kind of blue - miles davis
Death scene:i will follow you into the dark - death cab for cutie
Closing credits:i will - beatles
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You've been totally Bzoink*d

Sunday, September 24, 2006

why did i ever leave?

Who Is That Masked Man? It's MEL!

Mel GibsonThe first screenings of Mel Gibson's new movie "Apocalypto" weren't in New York or Los Angeles -- they were in Oklahoma. And, despite the fact that these were the big debut screenings for the film, Mel and his crew didn't exactly roll out the red carpet.

At a screening on Friday, at a casino in Goldsby, Okla., reporters were kept behind partitions. At another screening, at Cameron University on Thursday, Gibson showed up wearing a mask and wig. Not only that, but his Oklahoma-based publicist had said last week that the Oklahoma screenings had been cancelled -- probably to throw reporters off the scent. We all know the kinds of trouble Mel's been through lately, but he might be taking things to an extreme here. "Apocalypto," which is schduled for release on Dec. 8, is set in the last days of Mayan civilization in Mexico.

Monday, September 18, 2006


now i don't have to bother with watching this season of "the office." great. now i can watch reruns of "fear factor" completely guilt free.


The Whole World Is Watching, and Ben Silverman Is Watching Back

Published: September 17, 2006

... So for an episode of “The Office” that featured a business lunch at Chili’s, he struck a special sponsorship deals with that restaurant chain. On another occasion the wireless company Cingular expressed interest in a special marketing campaign. Mr. Silverman noted that one of the show’s main characters, Jim, was going to be in a long-distance relationship with another character, Pam, so naturally “they’re going to be text-messaging each other.”

conflict apples

after weeks of binge drinking and sleeping around, i finally decided it was time to do something wholesome. this past sunday i picked a bushel of apples, drank diet pepsi, made small talk, played an apple themed card game, helped make an apple pie or two and refrained from saying fuck for about 8 hours. it was kind of fun.

sunshine! apples! siobhan!

these empires were plucked illegally from an off limits area of the orchard. we totally almost got busted by some weird old man in a golf cart. good thing i had a low cut shirt on.

I love!

look what i found while stalking old highschool classmates. it's awesome.

I thought you would enjoy this…

Chuck Norris: The Defining Facts

*disclaimer: I did NOT make these up.

1. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
2. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4. Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
5. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
6. There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Chuck Norris.
7. Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.
8. Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
9. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
10. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
11. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
12. Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
13. Chuck Norris coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
14. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
15. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass, at night.
16. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
17. Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant; he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
18. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
19. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
20. When Chuck Norris jumps into water, he doesnt get wet. The water gets Chuck Norrised.

p.s. chuck is an oklahoman.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Say it ain't so

Whitney Houston, Bobby Brown separate

Couple has been wed for 14 years, have one daughter

Frederick M. Brown / Getty Images file
Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown, shown with their daughter, Bobbi, in 2004, are breaking up.

Seriously, if they can't make it, who can?

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

I do have a valid driving license...

Wanted: Assistant for Stephen Hawking

ONDON, England (AP) -- Wanted: Bright graduate student to assist world-famous scientist. International travel, developing computer systems and dealing with the press required.

Renowned astrophysicist and best-selling author Stephen Hawking has announced he is looking for a graduate student to work for him for one to two years.

The mathematics professor at the University of Cambridge has done groundbreaking work on black holes and the origins of the universe, making him one of the best-known theoretical physicists of his generation.

The candidate can earn about £23,500 ($44,300) and would likely join Hawking on his many travels abroad, according to a job posting on the university's Web site. Planning lectures, maintaining computer, answering public inquiries and helping with scientific papers are a few of the responsibilities.

One purpose of the job was to aid the professor in areas which he has difficulty due to his disability, the posting said.

The 64-year-old scientist uses a wheelchair and communicates with the help of a computer because he suffers from a neurological disorder called amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or Lou Gehrig's disease. He is almost completely paralyzed.

Chris Burgoyne, who has a bachelor's degree in mathematics at the University of Manchester, served as the professor's assistant from 1998-2000.

He said that during his 17 months working for Hawking he traveled to Berlin and several big cities in the United States including, Chicago, Atlanta, Boston and Washington, and met former President Bill Clinton. Expanding the professor's Web site was one of his main responsibilities.

"Flexibility, stamina and a confident and caring personality, together with a valid driving license, are essential for this demanding job," another advertisement said.

Like mimesis, I too have an undeniably classical pedigree.

The Word of the Day for September 6 is:
mimesis • \muh-MEE-sis\ • noun : imitation, mimicry

Example sentence:Late in her career, the painter became less interested in mimesis and began to experiment in styles of abstraction.

Did you know?"Mimesis" is a term with an undeniably classical pedigree. Originally a Greek word, it has been used in aesthetic or artistic theory to refer to the attempt to imitate or reproduce reality since Plato and Aristotle. "Mimesis" is derived from the Greek verb "mimeisthai," which means "to imitate" and which itself comes from "mimos," meaning "mime." The English word "mime" also descends from "mimos," as do "mimic" and "mimicry." And what about "mimeograph," the name of the duplicating machine that preceded the photocopier? We can't be absolutely certain what the folks at the A. B. Dick Company had in mind when they came up with "Mimeograph" (a trademark name that has since expired), but influence from "mimos" and its descendants certainly seems probable.

Sucks to be you Aiko, Mako or Kako...

Things I am thinking about before bed on a rainy Tuesday night

1. not suri cruise, since that's been cleared up
2. i am mortified by my high school poetry
3. no bananas left for breakfast
4. i admit it. i love steely dan.


Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Snakes on a Blog!

Think twice before you let Margaret drink while she's cooking.

Mine's on the left.

who cares.

For the New Face of CBS News, a Subdued Beginning

wow. now a lady can read from the teleprompter.

Music you should listen to:

Sofo in Noho

"I'm so glad I gave up hair gel and toothpaste to fly all the way from Germany for this. No really. I am."

We love you So.

And I was worried she'd look like a freakshow... What a relief!


get out of myspace

who are you? leave me alone.

Date: From: Confirmation:
Sep 5, 2006 4:39 PM

Johnny wants to be your friend!

Sep 5, 2006 9:24 AM

Girl Club USA wants to be your friend!

Sep 5, 2006 8:59 AM

T.O.C. PROMOTIONS wants to be your friend!

Sep 5, 2006 6:31 AM

The Claudia Malibu wants to be your friend!