Thursday, December 30, 2010

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Currently Coveting

That's actually a bookmark category I have.  And I pretty much covet everything.  All the time.  Let's see what's on the list today...

Fruit Embroidered Pillows at Overstock - I need all four.

Glacier National Park Blanket at Pendleton -  who doesn't need this?

Weck Glass Jars at Canoe - I somehow came into possession of some old school glass Pyrex pre-plasticware food storage containers and I love them.  These are perfect too.  There's something about storing your food in glass over plastic.

Corona Sofa at Macy's - Shockingly well priced.  I'm totally over our hand me down blue sectional, but too bad so sad for me.

Escape 1-W at Giant - Because I still don't have a bike.  Still.

Savvy at Bakers - In grey.  I'm having a grey thing.  I like these 'cause they're wedges, which means I am less likely to fall over.

Yes, this list is devoid of baby crap. That list is too big for one blog. I need/want it all! All of it! Ever!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Week 28 Update

28 weeks down, which means only 12 weeks to go.  Allegedly.  And I need every second.  I've given myself till after January 1 to get my ass in gear.  There are baby rooms to decorate (e.g. a trip to Ikea since that's all I can afford), birthing preparation classes to attend, registries to finally complete, a shower to not ruin, pediatrician to select, birth plan to write, childcare to secure, hospital bag to pack, name to choose... oh my freaking God.  So. Much. So. Little. Time.

In the meantime, says the baby's the size of an eggplant this week.  This is perplexing, because, as you see, eggplants come in many, many sizes.  All I know is that at seven months (maybe?  still confused) I'm definitely crossing from the maybe she's just fat to 95% sure she's knocked up, although, I'm still only rocking a couple pair of maternity skinny jeans with extra elastic in the waist - no panel action yet.  The dreaded maternity pants with those lovely panels are probably right around the corner, though, but mostly because I've been gorging on holiday goodness for days now.  Awesome!

Saturday, December 25, 2010

X-mas Fail

No one got me one thing I asked for. Seriously, each request was TOTALLY reasonable. Kidding. This dude is totally effed. 

(click to enlarge)

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

On the first day of Zebmas his people gave to him

one adorable stuffed holiday dinner

We decided to give lil Z a piece of his turkey plate each day until Christmas, but we didn't really count, so... we'll give him the plate Christmas Day.  In the meantime, he's been obsessed with the roll.  He just hangs out with it in his mouth, occasionally giving it a squeak.

In a related story, Z-pain's b-day was probably a couple of weeks ago if when we got him (February 2, 2010) he was around nine weeks or so.  To celebrate, I'm going to bake him some puppy pumpkin biscotti now that holiday break has officially commenced (12 day weekend ahoy!).  Well, it commenced when I peaced out of work at about one this afternoon because we FINALLY finished the hellacious end of year payrolls, but I think it starts now since I just roused from my Snuggie™ incuded nap. 

The point is, happy birthday and Merry Christmas Zeb!  You're my favorite.  (For now.)

Monday, December 20, 2010

Week 27 Update

I'm thoroughly confused about what starting week 27 means.  Is the end of month six?  Am I already in month 7?  I've never been good at the math (except when I use it for my job, of course *wink*), but my doctor says one thing, the sonogram people say another, and then websites and books yet another.  So, I could be anywhere from five to eight months knocked up at any given time.  All I know is my due date is somewhere between March 21 and March 24.  Which probably actually means May 3.  Whatevs.  I'm certainly is no hurry, yet. 

However, recent developments that indicate I am in fact getting there include, but are not limited to: lower back pain that's actually more like in my butt ( I guess, just lower, lower spine), but only when I "exercise" (which means me hoofing it around the track at the Y with my mom trotting behind for 45 minutes a few times a week, not hardly enough to offset the pre-holiday cookie and fudge damage I'm doing), boob explosion - just when I think they can't get any bigger, bump explosion which has led me to actually pull on a pair of maternity jeggings (ahhhhh - sigh of comfort!) since my attempt at using the belly band thingy made me feel like my pants were a mere seconds away from dropping in public and I'm already paranoid enough, and I cried for no reason (not really, there was a reason, it's just hazy and I've essentially already forgotten it) for about three hours Saturday night. 

In a related story, K put together the crib his mother graciously purchased for us and I received the dinos from Anthro.  AND THAT'S ALL WE'VE GOT!  It's kind of like we think in addition to me giving birth to a human, I will also pop out a pack 'n' play, breast pump, boppy, bumbo, blankets, burps rags, diapers, clothing, baby tub, swing, bouncy chair, wipes, changing pad, changing table, bottles, rocker/glider, college tuition and all of the other million things we should, but don't have.  Oops.

Saturday, December 18, 2010


Are you seeing this?  62 on Christmas Eve?  Let me remind you of last Christmas.  It was a snowy shitshow, but kind of cozy and exciting.  This year, it's practically going to be tropical out.  Weird.  I'm having a hard enough time getting into the spirit of things, but dang!  This really makes it hard.  But also, I think the less layers I can wear the better.  The bump is on the move and I'm starting to look a lot like Mimoo.

I can call her that because we've been friends since hers was the first CD I ever got.  Yup, I'm old.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


Scarjo and RyReyn are no more. Finito. Gone the way of Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens. So, you know what that means. One or both of them are mine! I'm not particular. And yeah, I got a babydaddy, but in the words of Beyonce, "if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it."

Monday, December 13, 2010

Week 26 Update

Same as week 25.  Except fatter.  Notice I did not say babier.  But fatter.  Because I am eating for 13 at any given time.  This happens every winter.  It's like the minute it drops below 50, I start eating for a small army of very large and very hungry people.  So, now it's the perfect storm of bambino, holiday gluttony and my evolutionary need to pack on the poundage in case of a winter famine.  Awesome. 

But, you know what makes everything better?  Even my fat ass, Heidi Montag sized jugs, jiggly belly etc.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

The saddest thing in the whole world has happened.

UPDATE: Obviously, I've overcome this very brief problem.  I just eat like a horse and then feel sick. 

I am unable to eat like I used to.  I'm not a doctor, but I'm guessing that the kiddo and his accommodations are taking up enough space now to squash parts of my internal organs in a new way.  This includes my stomach, which means I cannot stuff it full with delicious foodstuffs as I am accustomed.  Now, mind you, I have been somewhat careful to watch what I eat for the last year or so resulting in about a stone and a half (I prefer to think of lbs this way, much nicer than their American equivalent) weight loss, so I don't go totally overboard, but I do like to hunker down and enjoy a honking helping of scrumptiousness sometimes.  But, no more.  Now, I'm going to have to consume sensibly, eating small meals 100 times a day.  BLAST!  But it'll totally be worth it, right?  RIGHT?

In a related story, because I turned into a beached whale in the booth at Charleston's during my attempt at dinner (baked potato and soup, you'd think I could handle that), I made K cut our date night short and take me home so I could slide into my lounge pants and beach on the couch.  We hooked our huge ass (42" is huge to us, normal to others) to Netflix and are basking in the wonder that is Air Guitar Nation.  Recommended if you're in the mood for a documentary, but can't quite handle child prostitution or the deterioration of the US economy or sad state of food in America

Friday, December 10, 2010

Dear No-We-Don't-Have-A-Name-For-You-Yet Baby,

I might have bought you a little something today. Like your first stuffed toys. Dinosaurs to be exact. Terrance Triceratops and Talia T-Rex. Your dad loves dinos (and all things space, but I couldn't find any space dinosaurs on sale), so I thought you two might enjoy these together. Merry pre-birth Christmas!

*Yes, these are from Anthropologie. Yes, I have a problem. Step 1, complete!

Thursday, December 09, 2010

Oh hell yeah

Today I popped into Daisy Exchange, where I occasionally force young, hip women to sift through my cast offs when my closet overfloweth. Most of the time, I come away with a tidy pile of cash and little dignity. However, today, I was actually looking to purchase some large-ish shirts and/or dresses that I can belt and wear as my boobs explode and mini bump continues to expand, but doesn't quite require tenting. I found a few things all under $7 including, wait for it... an Anthro top. FROM THIS SEASON. THAT I BOUGHT LAST MONTH. FOR $68. Oh yes, the Odille Bianka blouse in navyish was hanging at the back of a pile for $6.50. SCORE! Yes, I have it in a print already, but effing A! I am stoked. But also depressed because I paid $68 when I coulda just got it for you know, 90% off. Curses. And happiness.

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Thought of the day:

Can Helen Mirren get any better? The answer is no.

Week 25 Update

At my regularly scheduled ob/gyn appointment last week, the doc suggested/required a 3D ultrasound since TLC was almost knocking at my door when I learned I was con niño to check development, really nail down the due date, etc. So, we did that today. I've decided that instead of carrying a child, I'm carrying a fossil. All I could pick out initially without the tech and doctor specifically pointing out parts was a prehistoric looking spine (which is good, glad you have a spine!!) and K and I both commented on the weirdness of the image. We're definitely not using our imaginations to help construct a baby out of the blurry squashiness. Neither of us is particularly sentimental, but I worry that we're too pragmatic to enjoy any of this. But, I guess it's not about us enjoying anything as much as making sure homeboy gets out alright. That's really my only job. They did finally find his little face (he's 1.1 pounds) and I'm hoping he looks a little better in real life. The picture was all sepia toned and kind of scary. On the other hand, it really confirmed that there's a bebeh in there! It's for real! He's real!

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. Christmas.

You know how when you break up with someone, you go backward thinking, oh man, that last time we blanked was the last time we'll ever blank. Yeah, so last Christmas was the last Christmas I could be semi-selfish and get stuff for myself. Now impending baby jail has imposed new limitations of Christmas gluttony. Damn! Not that I don't want stuff for señor spawn, but I just didn't know I needed to cash in last year. Family has asked what we want, but we know the answer is not a Wii or moolah for a pre-baby vacay. And yes, I am super grateful that anyone asks at all. I am a notoriously horrible gift giver. I think I'm going to have to outsource b-days and Christmas when the kid arrives or I'll scar him (deeper) for life. Right, so, instead of actually getting anything, I have given myself the gift of fantasizing about what I would want. Not that I would get any of it because I ask for too much and it's all too expensive, but that's how I roll.

Tom's - I finally caved over T-day break and bought some black canvas Tom's that were on sale for 25% off. I figured they'd come in handy when I can't see or reach my feet and then later when I don't have time to brush my teeth, let alone contemplate shoes that don't just slip on. And now I'm in love. Perfectly comfortable and versatile, I'd like some more, please.

Breville Panini Press
- There is nothing better than crusty, oily bread encasing fontina and salty, salty salami, hot and melty, ready for a dip in some dijon or tapenade. So hungry.

Over the knee boots - I have short, squatty legs (I'm a whopping 5'1" - sorry bebeh, but know that your dad is 6'4" so I think you got a good shot at exceeding the curse of Tom Cruise) and I like to make them look longer. One way is to wear heels. This typically ends in scratches, bruises, cramped and gnarled toes, etc. Another way is over the knee boots. These are seksi (especially in a size 7).

An Evening with David Sedaris tickets - it's like we're old friend and I haven't seen him in a long time. I LOVE YOU and your decidedly annoying voice, which is coming to OKC on April 18.

Kate Spade Desk Calendar - because I can't get enough Kate Spade in my life. Nor can I remember anything. Good combo.

Knitted Cowl - so soft, so warm, so winter, so need it (in fig or lemongrass)!

Tarte Cheek Stain and Fresh Sugar Plum Tinted Lip Balm - they're my favorites and I need more, but they're $$.

Amazon gift card - so I can download all the music I forgot to discover this year. I'm in a music void and I don't like it.

Jonathan Adler Leo Pillow - if you're a Leo, then you totally understand why you need a $100 pillow dedicated to your birth month.

Pretty bling - love these.

Lululemon Groove Pant - I almost forgot! Yes, I spent a ridic amount of money on a pair of yoga pants from Lululemon (the wunderunders to be precise) and it was hard earned money very well spent. I cannot say enough about their comfort and how they've held up. I got them when I weighed 20+ pounds more than now, wore them comfortable after that (not to mention they helped me feel not hideous when running/attempting to run at the gym), and now wear them over el bumpo (although, he's still fairly tiny for 25 weeks). So, I think the groove pants are going to be well worth the price. Oh yes, I will be getting some. Somehow. Someday.

Saturday, December 04, 2010

Suck it, Nebrasska

Today's the day. After many a painful misstep this season (in spite of one glorious week/three minutes at the top of the BCS poll), OU finds themselves battling Nebraska one last time (RIP Big 12) for the conference championship. While I'm unsure of our chances, to win, what I am sure of is that this game will be memorable because it'll be the first viewed from our new HUGE ASS/42" TV. That might seem like kid's play to you, but for us, having finally retired my parent's circa 1998 old school 36 incher, it is effing heaven. But, the most important thing is that it was hella cheap. I mean, ridonk. Like less than I can spend on iTunes in an hour. (Not really, but close.) In any case, in spite of, you know, expecting a bebeh, this purchase is actually the most adult I've felt since I signed up for retirement. Kudos, me.

Thursday, December 02, 2010

On not shopping

Due to the impending belly (and probably other body parts, but I really, really, really hope not because, dude, my boobs literally cannot get any bigger than they normally are - I'm not bragging, them's just the facts) explosion, I have curtailed my shopping habit 100%. SO EFFING HARD! Oh hey black Friday sales, cyber Monday deals and general holiday steals goodness, I'll just sit out your awesome offerings this year as my waistline disappears into oblivion (which, has happened a little, but mostly because of T-day overexposure and eating lunch out everyday because it tastes sooooo good - however, I can still fit into my skinny jeans at 24 weeks, so huzzah lycra or whatever they're partially made of!). Complain, complain, complain. It's all I do now have ever done. What I'm asking is, for those of you who can take advantage, do it for me. 30% of your entire J.Crew order today! And all of the other super awesome deals out there. Pour one out for your homie.

RIP darling shirt I would've considered for the holidays with your cheery plaid and whimsical beading. I would have tucked you into a short black skirt with inky tights beneath, finished off with suede heels.