Jean Visitation Hours Saturdays, 1 - 4 PM

Immediately post breakup 06, I dropped like 25 el bees fucking overnight. Like snap your finger and bam! Best.Diet.Ever. When that happened, obviously, I had to get some new threads. I still find all of this mystical and amazing since I was drinking more alcohol than I can remember, which equals some serious calories, but anywho. Now that's been over for a long time and I'm happy again, which means the poundage has creeped up a bit rendering those old jeans useless (I refuse to sport a noticeable muffin top while standing, at least). But just by a little. So, every time I go to my parents house to walk my/their dog, put up Christmas crap, or help them with anything involving the internet, I sneak in to the closet of my old bedroom where I stash the crap I don't want at my house and am too cheap to pay for storage and pull out my old jeans. And try them on. I think one more trip and they're all going to fit again! So, yes, I visit my former jeans once a week. Weird, I know.

summer summer summertime (except it's still spring)

Duuuuude! It's hot out there. Hot on my arms. Hot on the part in my hair. Hot on my nose. Hot on my bare feet. Bring it, vitamin D. 91 degrees! On April 22!


Irises* are blooming. Grass is greening. Who needs post work happy hour when you can find some books, some Boylan, and some serious sun?

*I'm not actually sure what kind of blooms those are, they just appeared in my yard.

Is that a taco in your purse or are you just happy to see me?

Did you know, that on no less than two occassions, I have found a taco in the side pocket of my purse? Sometimes, I go to Taco Cabana (jealous?) and order too many tacos. So, I put one in my purse for safe keeping, until I'm ready to eat it at a later date. And then, you know, later, I find a taco in the side pocket of my purse.

XOXO,

Blythe

Not to get all political and shit, but...

I had to watch Obama's speech and Bobby Jindal's rebuttal online after I got home from work last night. At midnight. You don't think that when you go into higher education, that you'll be working from 6am to midnight, but oh well. Anyway, I'm not sure if it was because I was barely lucid or if there is a real similarity, but... Bobby Jindal = Kenneth from 30 Rock.

Let's compare photos:

Kenneth

Bobby

Here are some clips. I especially appreciate the "oh God" courtesy of MSNBC. That Matthews.

Bobby

Here's the full speech.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Kenneth




Seriously? Really? Seriously?

Yay!

Hi 2009. Let's be friends. Also, I'm getting married. To myself.

Alright, so I think I've clawed my way out of my holiday induced sadness spiral. It was touch and go there for a bit, but I'm optimistic. Sort of. It's my new thing. No whine 09.


Rereading some of the posts from 2008, you'd think I'd had the worst year of my life. Not so! That was a combination of fourth grade when I got this terrible perm and June through December 2006. Last year was actually not too shabby, minus all the global events. I got a promotion. It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia was pretty funny this past season (Watch them all! Do it! Day Man! Night Man! Need I say more?). I discovered slickdeals.net. See, not too shabby. The bad thing is, I let stress or even the mere possibility of stress, overtake mind and body, leaving me more neurotic and second helping prone than ever. Well, that too shall come to an end. However, I have no willpower. I think the only thing that would ever really convince me is the impending pressure of nuptials. I've seen it work for other people. I mean, really work. Therefore, I am marrying myself. I've set the date for June 1. If I can fit into my summer of 2006 jeans, I am purchasing myself one of two things I have been lusting after for probably four years.

Option 1: Tiffany & Co Peridot Ring



Option 2: Le Creuset 5 1/2 quart round dutch oven. Yes, I said dutch oven. Heh.


I'm totally serious about this. I think I'll start a tumblr a la b-squared if anyone's interested in following along or can offer useful advice. I will call it Fat Girl Slim.

If you need me, I will be reading Buff Brides. I'm so totally 100% serious.