Monday, February 25, 2008

Zack Harrison Memorial Music Monday: Beer instead of music edition.

You may not know this about me, but I like beer. A lot. More than liking beer, I like to complain about the lack thereof here in the Sooner state. After spending a million years in the MA, I grew accustomed to the multitude of microbreweries dotting New England and beyond, their microbrews available in package stores, bars and restaurants. I miss a lot of things about New England like seafood, liberals, snow storms, independent video stores, all varieties of Cabot products, villages, mountains, soft serve stands, but I think I miss the beer most of all. I would vote for McCain if you offered me a Harpoon UFO at this point. Oklahoma's liquor laws are more mysterious than why No Country for Old Men won best picture last night over There Will Be Blood or why I'm so attracted to Helen Mirren. I guess I'll just never understand. In the meantime, if you're headed to the NE or are already there, pour one of these out for me.

Harpoon UFO
- so wheaty.

Long Trail Double Bag - so malty.

Smuttynose Old Brown Dog - so brown.

Magic Hat #9 - so magic (and apricot).

Brooklyn Pilsner - so golden.

Rapscallion Blessing - so comes in an awesome brandy snifter like glass that you can steal if you bring a large enough purse.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

BREAKING NEWS: Mr. Shain may not be so bad.

Today, or yesterday, I don't really know, longtime bee-spot reader and friend/hater, Mr. Shain, formerly of *The Life & Times, sent me an email. Within this email was a link to the website Stuff White People Like. Maybe you've heard of it already, chances are, I don't care. In the meantime, the site provides a bit of hilarity during a long day at the office blogs. To tell the truth, and listen carefully, because I am rarely honest (also, you guys are the most awesome readership ever!), it's more a site about what yuppies like. I can get behind that as some day I aspire to be a yuppie, but until then I will drive a Camry instead of a Prius. Anyway, my point is, this list makes sense if you live in Connecticut or Vermont or maybe Edmond. For the rest of us (especially here in Oklahoma), I think there's a different list to be had.

George Bush
Matchbox 20
Cracker Barrel
Jack and Ron on 98.9
Buying American
Lake Hefner
Sam's Wholesale Club
The Blazers
local banks
Diet Coke/Pepsi
The Lake (where ever that might be)
Gary England/weather preparedness
Edmond Public Schools

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

My boringness has reached an irreversible apex:

This is what I'm doing right now:

1. Watching onions brown as I make French onion soup. I actually bought a nip of Courvoisier to add to it.

2. Tab is open to Politico, waiting for the primary results.

3. Double fisting; Diet Coke and white wine (pinot grigio).

4. Listening to Fresh Air as Bart Ehrman discusses why religion is whack.

5. Wondering why my Technorati rating has gone from an all time high of 59 to 37.

6. Cursing Martha Stewart for buying the rights to Emeril's stupid fucking bullshit cooking show.

7. Thinking about how awesome Frontline could be tonight.

I don't even have kids, how have I become so utterly lame? Good lord.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Zack Harrison Memorial Music Monday: Oklahoma Edition.

There are shows happening! Not many, but some. And they don't all suck!

2/20: G. Love and the Special Sauce w/Tristan Prettyman - potential Vh1 fare, but could be ok. (Cain's, Tulsa)

2/25: Jonathan Richman - sort of a throwback, but a good one. (Opolis, Norman)

2/27: Citizen Cope - remember that Pontiac commercial with the infectious song? It's him! He has other good ones too. (Diamond Ballroom, OKC) ALSO State Radio - they're all political and shit. (Cain's, Tulsa)

2/29: Built to Spill - I dunno, could be worth it. (Diamond Ballroom, OKC)

3/8: Wilco! - sold out. Jerks.

3/16: Blitzen Trapper - saw them with The Hold Steady. I would recommend, but what do I know? (Opolis, Norman)

3/17: Islands - but will I have enough money for all of these shows? (Opolis, Norman)

4/14: FEIST! - you all know I love her with all my (psuedo-commercial indie) heart.

And much more including Xiu Xiu and British Sea Power. Check it out at because I am too lazy to write it all down and they change things all the time.

Fun fact of the day: Did you know, that in 1780 or so or sometime near there but not exactly then, there was a brief country named Franklin in what would be Tennessee and that the leader was named Nolichucky Jack? Me either, until very recently.

Documentary of the day: No End in Sight. This movie was quite invigorating. I want to make Rumsfeld live with my mother for six months, he's so evil.

Fear of the day: The BF just shaved off his winter beard. Will he be the same?

Book of the day: The Tale of Genji. Daunting? Yes. Worth it? Also yes.

Friday, February 15, 2008

It's Friday, I'm in Love

with the most wonderful time of the year! No, not when all of my STD tests come back negative, but... wait for it... Girl Scout Cookie time! They're everywhere and they're delicious, so head out to your nearest Wal-Mart because these little ladies are sitting at a table in front, mopping up the drool from the "greeter," waiting to take your money. I only eat Thin Mints, Shortbread and Peanut Butter Patties. I am a boring purist. It would take at least $5 to get me to eat a Samoa because those things are gross and even look gross. MMMMMMMM!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

I suppose it's Valentine's Day or some crap.

I was sent home from work today. Asked to leave. No kidding. It appears that somewhere between about 12am and 6am this morning, I totally lost my voice. I can only eek out a barely audible whisper, sometimes accompanied by an errant croak. It's very sexy, trust me. A large portion of my daily work includes talking on the phone and meeting with people face to face (a large percentage of them international students), which proved to be quite difficult by hour three and due to my poor coordination resulting in gesticulations that were probably inappropriate to most cultures. I was sent packing. I arrived home to flop in bed and watch Knotting Hill, Sliding Doors AND Raising Helen (with chocolates sent to work by a software company). Valentine's Day complete. I guess. I was informed last week the the BF doesn't celebrate V-Day, instead choosing to participate in "Meat Week" which maybe means he's gay, I don't know. It also might mean he reads College Humor* or this website. I'm just hoping I get a steak tomorrow night or something.

I'm not going to lie, I was kind of bummed about this. My past V-Days have always been shitty (one includes pink eye, another when I got someone the worst gift ever - a beta fish, another - actually, I can't remember them anymore, must've blocked them out), so not having one is probably best for me. Also, I reviewed the state of my mental last year and have decided that I'm ahead this time around, so all is well even if there are no flowers and crap. So, have a good one. Or don't have one. Or have a crappy one. It all evens out in the end.

*The other weekend, I was playing this retarded (sorry, no other word will suffice) made up drinking game and I had this great, what I would think College Humor worthy idea (if College Humor sucked, well, sometimes it does). Picture this, You know, for all of your friends that abandon wounded soldiers all over your place. Or drink your Stella and replace it with Natty. Or totally cheat during pong by making their partner drink or by being a girl. You know, that kind of shit. If this already exists (because I am clearly too lazy to use Google), just humor me, ok?

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Good Idea #78

It seems that come May or June or July or probably August, I, along with the rest of the United States excepting those who actually desperately need it, will be the recipient of $600 courtesy of a recently passed congressional stimulus package (insert joke about stimulating packages here). I was debating whether or not to use the surplus to pay off one month's interest of my student loans, a deposit on a new place, those glasses I've been needing or... shit from SkyMall. It will be a tough decision.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Zack Harrison Memorial Music Monday

Saturday night, in spite of my aforementioned condition, the BF arranged a little date chock full of what passes at culture here in the Sooner state. We made reservations for dinner and a movie at the Oklahoma City Museum of Art. The museum offers a prix-fixe menu and tickets package for NPR listening dorks like ourselves. The movie featured this week was "I'm Not There," the un-bio pic about not Bob Dylan, but yes. A few weeks ago, I saw "There Will Be Blood" as mentioned on this blog, not that anyone reads at this point. I wasn't sure how to react to the film. Was Daniel Plainwhatever really a bad guy? Was he the worst guy ever? Did the Radiohead dude steal his musical ideas from "Woman in the Dunes," a 1960s Japanese movie? In any event, the movie raised questions, made me think, made me squirm and all that shit, in the way a movie should. "I'm Not There" caused pretty much the same reaction, but in the way a movie shouldn't. From the moment it began, I couldn't wait for it to end. The film was so fucking inconsistent, and not in its narrative conventions, but in the choices the writer/director made about alternately hitting the viewer over the head with obvious retardedness then complete and purposeful cryptic crap. I wanted to like this movie. I expected to like it. However, it was utter crap, and I rarely say that. The only redeemable aspect, of course and obviously, was the inclusion of Dylan's music, in his own voice and through various covers. We could all wax interminably about Bob, so I will leave all of that to the pros. I will just mention a few songs that struck me and have continued to play in my head since the movie ended. Way too long after it began. I'm curious if others who have seen if share my reaction or think I'm completely off my (folk)rocker.

Download these:

Going to Acapulco - Jim James & Calexico: Sadly charming and perfectly haunting. Just when I think MMJ is a one trick pony, this collaboration revives my love for both groups.

Just Like A Woman - Charlotte Gainsbourg with Calexico: Charlotte was also in the movie, portraying Dylan's estranged wife, Sara. She's the only character who was even remotely compelling. Her breathy rendition of maybe my favorite (albeit everyone's) Dylan song quietly wrings the sexism out of the lyrics.

Lay Lady Lay - Bob Dylan: Ok, I lied. This is my favorite Dylan song. I shall dust of Nashville Skyline.

Positively 4th Street - Johnny Rivers: What's not to like?

One More Cup Of Coffee - The White Stripes: I wonder if Bob ever wished he sang better, or at least had a voice just as distinct, but in a tolerable way.

Simple Twist of Fate - Jeff Tweedy: Oh dear. Involuntary emotional surge during the last verse. Heart hurts. Also, isn't nice to actually understand the lyrics for once?

The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll - Mason Jennings: I bet Jennings wished he wrote this.

In other news: other songs I like at the moment.

Harvester of Hearts - Rufus Wainwright: Happy V-Day!

At 7 - Britta Persson: I hate that I find myself drawn to songs like this. Blech. Yay!

Mother's Child - Crystal Moustache: Weird5000.

Lake Erie - Nat Baldwin: This guy's from the Dirty Projectors, not that you couldn't have figured it out.

New Soul - Yael Naim: Yes, this is in a MacBook commercial. Blow me. It's still a great song.

More Cover Mania!

In The Aeroplane Over The Sea - Matt Pond PA: Never gets old, no matter who's doing it.

Thirteen - Wilco: This song breaks my heart over and over again. There's an Elliot Smith version as well, which literally makes me tear up.

Always On My Mind - Ryan Adams: I'm still waiting for my ex-boyfriend to dedicate this to me.

I am so out of touch with everything:

2080 - Yeasayer: It turns out this is pretty interesting. There's definitely a Beach Boys resurgence happening. (Besnard Lakes, Cass McCombs, and others, I would say.)

Oh, also, of course, I bought the Vampire Weekend full length album. Even my dad loves it.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Live Blogging the Grammy Awards

6.58pm - Oh, the Grammy's are on? Does that mean there will be new episodes of The Office? What day is it?

7.02 - Boring. Boring. Boring.

7.34 - Boring. Amy Crackhouse wins again.

sometime in between - Beyonce booty shaking like a maniac with an old lady wearing a skin-tight space suit made of foil aka Tina Turner.

8.11 - Boring. Where's Cracky Whorehouse?

9.02 - Why do I know all of the words to "That Old Black Magic?" The BF is looking at me strangely as he puts in ear plugs.

9.05 - They're showing Dexter on CBS?

9.09 - I love me some Stevie Wonder, but the guy needs a sighted stylist.

9.12 - The BF's fart is more exciting than Alicia Keys' performance.

9.18 - Kanye just got told! By Vince Gill! Not even Vince Neil! Don't fuck with Oklahomans.

9.41 - There she is. She makes Nicole Richie look fat. She's also wearing the inside of a Victorian casket. Pretty...

9.forever - Boring.

And the winner is...

Love means, Part II:

Yup.  So as soon as I concluded the puking out of my butt portion of the evil sickness that has gripped central Oklahoma in its Pepto covered hands, I managed to surrender to another malady.  The ladies will know what I'm talking about.  It's the little fucker known as the UTI.  Pissing what feels like millions upon millions of shards of broken glass approximately every five minutes will make a perfectly nice young lady (me) turn into a horrible, whiney, terrible, irritable, heartless bitch (also me).  Because my health insurance blows balls ($75 copay to take a urinary analysis that I could have given myself - blood + pee = infection - where's my $75!) and I am 1/4 new age, I decided to treat this little infection the old fashioned way - with $9 100% natural, organic cranberry juice.  I had to drive (and piss at) three stores before I found acceptable juice.  Norman, OK is not the place to get such a substance at 8.30pm.  It's only today that I'm feeling better in all departments, but probably only a matter of time before I contract the other flu circling the state or get something gross, like a sty.  akljfsdfjajkl;djsf.  In the meantime, I actually made a playlist for tomorrow!  All in good time, all in good time.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Love means...

sharing the same bathroom when you each have a different form of the nastiest GI focused flu/virus that ever was.

In a related story, I've lost 10 pounds! Now I can fit into my skinny sweatpants while I suffer.