Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Good Idea #78
It seems that come May or June or July or probably August, I, along with the rest of the United States excepting those who actually desperately need it, will be the recipient of $600 courtesy of a recently passed congressional stimulus package (insert joke about stimulating packages here). I was debating whether or not to use the surplus to pay off one month's interest of my student loans, a deposit on a new place, those glasses I've been needing or... shit from SkyMall. It will be a tough decision.
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12 comments:
I would have rather seen an extension of unemployment benefits.
Three words: Solid gold pants. Think about it... nothing says class like a pair of solid gold pants.
The SkyMall is my vote... but you have to order while in flight - that makes is soooo much cooler.
At $900 an ounce, Blythe's refund check would buy gold pants weighing in at about 2/3 of an ounce. Those would be some revealing pants.
all of blythe's pants are revealing pants.
Wait? We get $600 for being American? Do I get it too? Even though Im in Japan?
I take back everything Ive said about growing up in America and how nowadays it means you start your adulthood with crippling debt!
The $600 comes from the Treasury selling bonds to institutional investors in places like China. You may as well buy some consumer goods manufactured in China... send that money back.
I'm using mine on Botox.
And Solid Gold Dancers.
Last year, there was a revenue surplus here in the Beaver State, so thanks to the stoopidist law in the history of government we all got refund, or "kicker," checks.
This year, there is a predictable revenue shortfall, so it will be time to empty out the prisons, hold classes in the hallways, and lay off the state police again.
Fortunately, Mrs.5000 and I were able to stimulate the economy in the meantime. I can't remember how. We probably bought a big mountain of blow. Or maybe we paid off her car.
When they gave me my $300 5 or 6 years ago, I sent it to the ACLU. Now I'm broke and the ACLU won't get it out of their heads that I'm a $300 range donor so I get mail from them constantly. I'm keeping the $600 this time. Such are my principles.
Don't you have to make under a certain amount to be eligible for this? I think I'm ineligible and it sucks cause I sure could use it.
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