Thursday, May 27, 2010

i don't like doing anything i don't like to do

because that sucks. doesn't it? however, sometimes, external forces dictate that i must. i keep not making any more money, so i'm always a little strapped for cizzash, mainly because what little i do make i spend here. and here. and here. and here. funny story - i still look like crap in spite of dropping serious scrill on the fancy(ier than old navy and ross) brands. anywho, this month, june 2010, i am imposing a moratorium on apparel purchases. i have several pair of shoes that have gone unworn for years. dresses with price tags still attached. skirts i wore once then never ironed to wear again (because i am both lazy and afraid of hot things). well, june is the month when i reclaim my own wardrobe. i was going to do a thing where i wear a different pair of shoes each day, but i chickened out because i'm still super wobbly on heels. but maybe. we shall see. won't we won't see are bags from forever 21 stuffed with crap clothes (that i love, but still, they're crap) and scary credit card bills and bank statements. i can do it!

ghosts of closets past - i clearly have a problem. yes, it's weird because, yes, i still always look a little homeless even in my best outfit. it's a gift. marry me!

exhibit a:

i swear there was an exhibit b, but i can't find it. trust me. it was worse.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Link Love

I'd like to just take a moment to share all of the sites I visit on a regular basis in hopes that someone will talk about them with me. Please? Anyone? ANYONE?

My Year Of Everything - Dave Holmes does all those other books and blogs doing shit for a year. Crockpotting, wearing one outfit, living biblically, cooking Julia Child recipes, you get the picture.

Anthroholic - someone shows how to not make Anthropologie pretties look like your gram's castoffs.

Selleck Waterfall Sandwich - exactly what it sounds like.

Mrs. Lilien - sumptuous, well sourced arrangements of things I can't afford (but shouldn't buy if I could. I mean really, a $1000 mint julep?)

What Would Emma Pillsbury Wear? - I can't get that into Glee, but I can get into cardigans.

Heat Eat Review
- Update this piece, bitches! But, in the meantime, very useful if you work in an office with a microwave.

Fed Up with Lunch: The School Lunch Project
- ew ew ew. This is why I packed my lunch everyday during school (Mom wouldn't do it). Also, the kids don't stand a chance.

what i wore today... in drawings - aw, cute.

denise hearts jasper - click on soundtrack. Start downloading.

Monday, May 24, 2010

How is it

that I look totally awesome when I check myself out at home before I leave for work, but by the time I get to work I'm a rumpled, homely mess? It's like that episode of Seinfeld when he has the simultaneously hot and ugly girlfriend depending on the lighting, etc. Good thing I work in a basement so no one can see me. Hooray for mole people!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Dear Gary England,

You owe me $140.

Yesterday, you got on the tube and starting creaming your pleated front Dockers about "weather events" running amock around the state. And I listened. Like a 'tard. Your incessant screeching about baseball sized hail ripping through Noble heading toward Norman compelled me to seek shelter for my new (to me) car.

Now, I don't have a garage, per se, but a detachable old-timey garage-shed-type-thing at the end of the long gravel driveway. Classy, yes? So, the BF and I make a run for it into blinding rain to open the doors to this thing and jockey the cars around so I can pull in. Which I do. It's when I get out that I hear a hissing sound. The sound of a punctured tire. AWESOME! Soaking wet, the BF and I head back inside to wait out the impending weather armageddon before surveying the damage. We wait. And wait. And wait. Guess what? No hail. No straight line winds. No tornado (in spite of the screaming sirens all night). NO FUCKING ANYTHING! After the rain ended, skies cleared and the sun shined. And my heart closed forever to the Oklahoman in me that reveres all things Gary England. He is dead to me.

Much like my tire. The BF put on his man pants and put on the spare. I got the new tire put on this morning. Yes, $140 is cheaper than hail damage, surely. But still, Gary, you can make the check out to I am an idiot.

RIP (in my heart) Lord Gary

p.s. This is why I was motivated to move my car and attempted to believe these weather jokers.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Yay for Smith!

Although I love to hate on Smith sometimes, I still love it. Like you love something like this. This year, Rachel Maddow was the commencement speaker, much better than my year's whoever it was... Anywho. Listen to her address. It's pretty rad.

Watch her speech here.

Check out these super awesome graduate's shoes here.*

*Smith has a thing where you have to wear white and black shoes, which makes me want to die, but these are some pretty awesome shoes to offset the unnatural, virginal white they encourage.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Things I Hate # 4,739:

couples with joint Facebook or email accounts. Seriously? Do these people understand the purpose of social networking and untraceable email accounts? Duh.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Want to know how awesome I am?

I wish I could stay up late enough to watch the new Adult Swim show featuring Dr. Steve Brule of Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job. But I can't. Because I'm old. Did you know that I'll be 29 in something like less than 80 days? I know, right. I have a lot to show for my 29 years, though, so that's cool. Mainly that I've watched every episode of seasons one through five of TAEASGJ. Marry me.

Thursday, May 13, 2010


is it wrong that I prune the lady garden more for my gyno than my bf?

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

OMG! There was totally a tornado

down the street from my house last night. I definitely had the interior most closet prepped with some pillows and a battery powered radio. Thankfully, the tornado hit The Commons aka apartment complex packed with annoying college kids. They were all fine. Whatever. In any case, 'tis the season! Tornado season.

Lord Gary:

Get on down to your fraidy hole:

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

in which i am lame

I like blogs. I like reading blogs. I like commenting on blogs. I like reading comments on blogs. I like blogging. Sort of. I can't seem to get my act together keeping up with this thing, but I think that I need to try. Lately, I've become more boring than myself circa 2007, which is shocking, really. I didn't think it was actually possible. In any case, no one reads this, which is cool, so I'm just going to start posting for myself. Because it's always been all about me anyway.

And on that note, have you ever gone to get a hair cut, your first in say, six months (not cool, I know) and then left the salon with the midwestern news anchor? I just can't win in the hair department. I either need to go Crystal Gale or go home.