Yay!

It's Friday, I'm in Love

with hating on this election. Seriously, no one is undecided. Fine. If you are, you are either a complete luddite and I applaud you although you are certainly not reading this, or you aren't really going to vote, so quit pretending like you are. Primaries are a useless joke, especially if you are from a state like Oklahoma. Unless you live in one of the important states, no one gives a shit. And if you do live in an important state, Chuckabee's evangelical God bless you. That must've been a nightmare. Maybe you'll get an extra chunk of change in your really well thought out economic incentive package rebate for tolerating your civic duty and Chris Matthews barreling into your living room spitting on your furniture. In the meantime, I hate all media, in spite of being oddly attracted to both Mika and Joe on Morning Joe (MSNBC weekday mornings from 3am until 11am). Right, so, since no one is actually undecided, let's just vote now. The obscene amounts of money candidates have raised to purchase tacky suits (Ron Paul, seriously, go to fucking Nordstrom or something - you have those in Texas), commission absolutely retarded and insulting commercials, and buy hordes of useless staffers can be donated to something worthwhile, like my student loans.

Tear that, Mika. Rip it up. Are you wearing your super sexy black boots today?

It's Friday, I'm in Love

with Bear Grylls. Yes, it's true. I know I've been on the Les Stroud side of this battle, but I happened to catch a bit of the Bear on Oprah last night (yes, I was watching an Oprah rerun on KOCO Channel 5, which is actually channel 8 at 11pm last night) and had a little epiphany, or maybe indigestion, but I felt something. I think seeing him choke up a bit while talking about his fallen Everest co-climbers melted a little piece of my glacier heart that, so far, Les has been unable to survive by starting a fire with his underwear, a coconut and his own boogers (oh, plus his name is Bear! Bear beats Les). I do have a few qualms with Man vs. Wild, like his camera man should be recognized for his kickassedness since he braves the same treacherous conditions as Bear (likewise, the Survivorman should be praised since he lugs his shit around all by his lonesome) and there's the fact that this dude's bat shit crazy for pulling the stunts he does - but I guess that just makes me love him more. Everyone knows I love the crazies. Maybe Bear and Les should get together and do a little something (Les can run the camera). I'd like to see them survive a Friday night in the Homeland parking lot in Norman, OK where all of the rednecks circle their trucks for a night of what I imagine is Skoal, Kenny Chesney, and statutory rape punctuated with cries of "git 'er done."

Photo-off:

Bear vs.

Canadian

What this is telling you is that I am a huge dork. Yes, I stay home and sit around the house watching Survivorman and Man vs. Wild, but it doesn't end there. I love Jamie and Adam on Mythbusters with all of my useless heart (especially Jamie - did you know he has a degree in Russian Language and Literature?). I have almost every episode of Modern Marvels memorized (but I still don't know how anything works). It's a sickness. Date me!