Oh my sweet lord. I will literally die if this happens.

 

via BWE

13lbs and 2oz.  Holy shizz!  But seriously, since I haven't gained that much weight total (although it would appear so, but if you mention anything to my face about weight gain I will punch you) this is impossible, but terrifying nevertheless.  Must not read further.  Oh god.

Dear No-We-Don't-Have-A-Name-For-You-Yet Baby,

I might have bought you a little something today. Like your first stuffed toys. Dinosaurs to be exact. Terrance Triceratops and Talia T-Rex. Your dad loves dinos (and all things space, but I couldn't find any space dinosaurs on sale), so I thought you two might enjoy these together. Merry pre-birth Christmas!


*Yes, these are from Anthropologie. Yes, I have a problem. Step 1, complete!

Week 25 Update

At my regularly scheduled ob/gyn appointment last week, the doc suggested/required a 3D ultrasound since TLC was almost knocking at my door when I learned I was con niño to check development, really nail down the due date, etc. So, we did that today. I've decided that instead of carrying a child, I'm carrying a fossil. All I could pick out initially without the tech and doctor specifically pointing out parts was a prehistoric looking spine (which is good, glad you have a spine!!) and K and I both commented on the weirdness of the image. We're definitely not using our imaginations to help construct a baby out of the blurry squashiness. Neither of us is particularly sentimental, but I worry that we're too pragmatic to enjoy any of this. But, I guess it's not about us enjoying anything as much as making sure homeboy gets out alright. That's really my only job. They did finally find his little face (he's 1.1 pounds) and I'm hoping he looks a little better in real life. The picture was all sepia toned and kind of scary. On the other hand, it really confirmed that there's a bebeh in there! It's for real! He's real!

Dear baby,

I'm sure there will be a kajillion things I'll love about you, but for now, I'm super excited that your dad, out of nowhere, realized that we'll (finally) need a Christmas tree (ok, maybe not this year, but definitely next!). I'm excited because your father has a black belt in scrooginess, but it appears his black coal holiday heart is melting a little just for you. Who knows, maybe we'll even go totally crazy and put light on the house! Not.

Week 23

And really nothing to show for it. This has been a completely symptomless pregnancy, which is great, of course. So far, I've actually lost weight (weird) and am still in my normal clothes (thank God because we are broke, broke, broke). The only typical things are my cravings for cheeseburgers. Wait, that's always been an issue. Other than that, I'm going to trust the docs and the ultrasound since they say everything's there and accounted for (including boy parts) and humming along just fine.

In the meantime, I'm trying to think of all the unprepared moms out there who've made it just fine, like Britney, Khourtney Kardashian, Jamie Lynn Spears, Ashley Simpson, Nicole Richie. I'm in great company, right?

P.S. Would it be wrong to ask for corporate sponsorship for this kid? I would totally name him Devon (hello Devon Energry) or Chesapeake or Coca-Cola or pretty much anything that would pay the bills.