Friday, July 06, 2007

It's Friday, I'm in Love

with nothing. (Well, maybe myself, just a little bit.) I do know what I am not in love with, and one of those things is this "feature." I've been working on upgrading IFIIL to Casual Porn Friday, but I always get so sidetracked when I do research that I just don't think it's going to work out. For you. It's working pretty well for me. Anyhoo, I'm stealing Mr. Shain's Friday Confessional. The following five things I wouldn't reveal to anyone, except you, dear reader(s), and of course Google searchers.

1. Once, I had a sex dream about Patton Oswalt. And it was effing hot. I mean, hot enough that years later I still remember it. Hang on a second. Ok.

http://beingtheremag.com/images/0601/patton1.jpg

2. I will eat yogurt months past the expiration date. Don't give me that shit. It's fucking disgusting to begin with. Who cares how old it is.

http://www.apv.com/NR/rdonlyres/D15ADB07-16B5-4972-839C-53684E2AC920/0/set_yoghurt.jpg

3. Speaking of music, I literally tear up every time I hear Danny's Song by Loggins and Messina. I think I want it played at my wedding right after Don't Stop Believin. If you are ok with these song selections and my inability to love, I will marry you immediately.




4. While at Smith, on the way home from Quad parties, I would pee in the bushes outside of Cutter/Ziskind house because I didn't like those girls.

2000-2004 Smith Quad Dance Party Mix Sampling
Digital Love - Daft Punk
Rock Your Body - Justin Timberlake
I'm a Slave 4U - Britney Spears
Boom, Boom, Boom - Venga Boys
Move Your Feet - Junior Senior
Crazy In Love - Beyonce
Waiting for Tonight - Jennifer Lopez
Dirrty - Christina Aguilera
Get Yer Freak On - Missy Elliot
Always on Time - Ja Rule

5. This is perhaps the most shocking revelation yet. Notice how you have never seen a picture of Mr. Shain's face. That is because he doesn't exist. I began running *The Life & Times as a sort of blogging experiment. I just wanted to see what it would be like to blog as a man from Oklahoma living in LA. It wasn't as exciting as I had hoped.



17 comments:

Mr. Shain said...

two thoughts:

1. love the venga boys. where are they now? the venga bus is coming... carment will be excited about this too; it was our work song at paint drop.

2. if you're covertly running *The Life and Times, why do you make fun of yourself so much? not to mention, how did your content get soooo much better with the second blog?

Mr. Shain said...

and third, why are you point out these holes in your own story?

The [Cherry] Ride said...

I know it is now my turn to comment, but I'm having a hard time coming up with anything.
Wait...
Ummmm...

Yeah, I got nothing. Blame it on the Master.

Beau said...

I have a confession for you, Blythe. I use conditioner on my beard and only my beard. Also, I own that Vengaboys album and do not know if there are any more. They do make me want to go to Ibiza though.

Alex said...

i suppose its a product based on sour milk, so that makes sense. and pre-blended blueberry yogurt that includes blueberries is quite delicious, and i refuse to be swayed any other way on this.

beau: no shit? and all this time i thought i was the only one (well, i use it on my head too, but i digress). perhaps this is like being a never-nude. "there are dozens of us! dozens!"

blythe said...

shain - the paint drop! i almost forgot. i never actually made anything, i think. i'm not sure "sooooo much better" is the right term.

cherry - it's ok. it's a shitty post not really warranting your precious commenting abilities. no worries.

beau - remind me to feel up your beard next time i see you. and to ride the venga bus!

alex - i'm wearing my jean short cut offs as i write. not really. but i do love me some david cross. however, if i had to choose who was funnier, david or bob, well, i just couldn't do it.

Midwesterner in NYC said...

Speaking of music, I literally tear up every time I hear Danny's Song by Loggins and Messina.

or how about the best of both worlds. Perry and Loggins singing Don't Fight It

It is on my central park running playlist.

Also.... If I am ever in OK again (it has been 12 years) I am getting ahold of your ass and I expect fun times!!!!!!

Midwesterner in NYC said...

OK, I just reread my comment.... I did not mean any ill will toward your ass. I just meant...... oh I give up.....

Mr. Shain said...

total drunk commrnenting

oooo=======

Midwesterner in NYC said...

total drunk commrnenting

indeed

blythe said...

midnyc - don't fight it?! i had no idea. will be downloaded immediately. it's ok. no one comes to oklahoma on purpose. but i might make it back to nyc someday.

shain and midnyc - is there any other way?

Clinton said...

If you make it to NYC, the first beers on me. Then, um, can I borrow five bucks for reasons totally unrelated to buying you a beer?

Also, there's a mall-punk version of "Danny's Song" by Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies that's worth a look. It's quite peppy.

blythe said...

$5? i want one of them fancy new york beers that's at least $7.

punk danny's song? this i have to hear.

Clinton said...

Whoa... hey... 7$... that's a little rich for my blood. I prefer to just hang around in bars and lap up whatever alcohol people spill. It's cheap and degrading!

Big Daddy said...

Me First and The Gimme Gimmes, rule.

They're a cover band.

I recently had a pretty graphic sex dream with Cindy Crawford which wouldn't be a big deal, but I'm gay.

blythe said...

yeah, i'm liking them.

interesting. cindy crawford, eh? that's so early 90s. hey, whatever gets the job done, right?

The Yellow Dart said...

Blythe, your wit totally kicks Shain's wit's ass.