Saturday, July 07, 2007


[If you know me, then you know that I am currently residing with the 'rents while I seek out housing and save a bit of lettuce (due to "Glamorous" by Fergie, I now exclusively refer to money as lettuce). This has afforded me literally billions of opportunities to wallow in self pity, eat free food, spend time with the 'rents and lil bro, withstand friends making fun of me, free laundry, cry myself to sleep, watch lots of HBO, etc.]

This weekend, as my brother was making a sandwich for himself that consisted of bacon, mayo, 1/2 pound of turkey, 1/4 pound ham, swiss cheese, provolone, mustard, and more bacon with extra mayo (and somehow he's still a bean pole) he revealed to me that he had never listened to a record before. I was aghast, much like the admission that he was unfamiliar with the (I would say ubiquitous, but I say a lot of things) Trapper Keeper. My father, being a musician and music education professional has quite the collection that I frequently pillaged as a middle schooler/high schooler. I mean, good stuff. He always says that when he dies, my mother is to absolutely not get the record collection. He pretends like he's joking, but I know better. There's a clause in the will. I can't figure out why I'd never made my brother listen to the weird shit I listened to back in the day, then realize, it was because he was a small child. Sometimes, I forget that there is a seven year age gap between us. Until this year, we've kind of lived separate lives, but with the same parents and in the same house, maybe you understand, but probably not. I don't know where to start in terms of breaking him into the world of vinyl (and I am NOT one of those people who are vinyl obsessed blah blah blah, I just think there's something special about a record every now and then and it should be listened to along with other mediums of music and yes, I have a reel to reel, so suck it), so I start with the Beatles. Now friends, there two kinds of people in this world: Stones people, Beatles people and people who divide the world into two groups of people, which is three groups, so there's really a fourth which consists of people who cannot count. I am firmly in the Beatles camp. I'll be friends with you if you're a Stones kinda kid, but I will never date you (probably for many reasons which are my fault, but let's not get into that). And if you've no opinion one way or another, that's a total deal breaker except right now I don't have a lot of friends, so I'd probably let it slide. For now. I just played him Abbey Road. Damn. It's good shit. He said the sound quality sucked. I ate half his sandwich to spite him. Also, because I like bacon. So, I present to you a list of my favorite Beatles songs, which, I am guessing, will be uninteresting to everyone but me, but I suspect everyone has theirs (I mean, who can pick just one?).

I Will (The White Album)
Here, There and Everywhere (Revolver)
She's Leaving Home (Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band)
And I Love Her (A Hard Day's Night)
Golden Slumbers (Abbey Road)
Oh Darling! (Abbey Road)
The Fool On The Hill (Magical Mystery Tour)
Two Of Us (Let It Be)

Of course, every song is fantastic and I will forever be a Beatles kind of girl and they will always rank at the top of any great bands list I might or might not create. And for the record, my favorite Stones song is Moonlight Mile.

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Dan said...

I do love it when you post about bacon, Trapper Keepers, The Beatles, and The Stones. Throw in references to your jeans shorts and your Mom getting spanked at Applebees and we're talking top five posts of all time.

I love the Beatles and the Stones equally. And I'm adamant about that. I won't listen to any degradation of either.

Clinton said...

Just recently, "Helter Skelter" has become my favorite Beatles song. I like it a lot, but unfortunantely it DID make me kill a lot of people.

But hey... great song.

Mr. Shain said...


Anonymous said...

I am more of a Stones fan but you're right, Abbey Road is an awesome album. I say album because that is what I have it on.

I like the Stones better because they have more of a blues influence. I love Honky Tonk Woman and Beast of Burden to name just two of many.

blythe said...

dan - if i could custom design a trapper keeper, it would have bacon on it. also, you can't love the stones and beatles equally, just like you can't love your children equally. or maybe that's just what my mom says.

clinton - ooh, that's a good one. i'm not sure if a blog comment counts as a confession, but you might want to move or something now since like tons of people read this.

mr. shain - i could ask the same.

step right up - really? stones over beatles? it's always a little hard for me to hear that, but i respect your opinion. beast of burden is admittedly a pretty rad song.

Clinton said...

Charles Manson? Anyone? He claimed that the song "Helter Skelter" was a call to arms to kill people and that it influenced him greatly... does no one watch The History Channel anymore?

Dan said...

I can't and yet I do. If I had to pick one, it would be whichever one was playing on the radio at the time. I could name you 10 Stones songs that are better than any Beatles song and I could name you 10 Beatles songs that are better than any Stones song.

Julie_Gong said...

Beatles all the way... although The Stones almost turned me when I saw them 2 years ago. Sneaky Stones...

Drive My Car... favorite Beatles song. I'm a sucker for the early stuff.

blythe said...

clinton - yeah, yeah - i get it.

dan - i thought we were meant for each other, but now i'm not so sure.

julie - funny story - when i was in 8th grade honor choir, i had to do a choreographed performance to drive my car. it was totally sweet and awesome.

stewpid said...

Hey, didja hear Paul MacCartney's getting back together?

Ok, well, it's funny when me and my friends say that to one another. Try it! Try saying "Bob Dylan" instead of Paul! Ok, maybe you need to be stoned.

I call money "monkey." That way it's funny when you say "I am completely out of monkey and can't pay my bills" instead of being, like, pathetic and terrifying.

d said...

a while ago, a friend told me about the two kinds of people, but she said elvis people and beatles people. and i was all, but i'm neither. then i heard the stones people or beatles people and i was all, ohhhhh. definitely stones.

mick could totally kick john's ass. not least because john's dead. although since mick is almost dead, it could be close.

stewpid said...

blythe and I are "the first 48" people.

Big Daddy said...

I'm an equal parts Stones and Beatles person myself.

Fave Beatles: 'Magical Mystery Tour'

Fave Stones: 'Sympathy For The Devil' [hoo-hoo].

You should make a Trapper Keeper OUT of bacon. Kinda like the bacon wallet.

Annie said...

i'm obsessed with the beatles; glad you are of my ilk. (omg i had a feeling!) my mom totally drove me to a beatles memorabilia convention in downstate IL when I was in 7th grade. i ended up buying $120 worth of posters, 7 of which still hang in my bedroom at home. it sounds cool, but it's really creepy. (i meant it probably sounds cool to you. to stones people it already sounded creepy starting with "convention." or, "my mom".)

Mr. Shain said...

you've really struck a cord with people!

...thank you, i'm here all the time.

blythe said...

stewpid - perhaps i will start calling money monkey lettuce. it doesn't really matter because i never talk about money because i have negative money at all times.

d - i'm not sure mick could kick dead john's ass, but i am pretty positive keith could kick anyone's ass.

stewpid - oh yes we are. i try to make up for watching 8 hours of my super sweet sixteen by watching shows about murder and real estate.

big daddy - but this is what i'm saying, i don't think you can be both. although, perhaps like smith taught me, stones/beatles likage is a spectrum, like sexuality. oh, and if i made a bacon trapper keeper or bacon wallet, it would only last about 5 seconds before i ate it. actually, i would never finish making it, because i would be eating it.

annie - it sounds totally cool to me. in fact, if you ever want to unload any of those, you know who to call (comment?).

mr. shain - good one?

Dan said...

I love it when the Stones almost turn julie_gong.

I almost took your bait, bee-spot. I know that game: I disavow my opinions and swear to say that the Beatles are better than the Stones in return for your love, then you reject me because you can't respect a man who would so easily sell out his beliefs. nice try. btw, I was at work today (I know!) and the guy I'm working for played Beggars Banquet. An absolutely glorious album. Every song is the best song of all time (tied for first with every song on Rubber Soul).

JebusHChrist said...

Great post. I'm a Beatles person.
But I'd always heard this argument under the auspices that you were either into The Stones or The Who, in which case I'd have to go with The Who.
Never the Stones.

Annie said...

i don't think you understand. one of them is that silver/really thick cardboard kind and the image is a silkscreen of john lennon's face. the only colors are the aforementioned silver, black, and turquoise. it'd be funny if it weren't so unattractive. it's still funny.

another features paul mccartney's 1989 or so live tour in some crappy city. he's cradling a guitar while wearing a shirt and pants in different plaids, i'm positive.

ooh now i can't wait to go back home and document these two posters in a.... post.

stewpid said...

My Super Sweet Sixteen! The fat blonde chick with the horse! The one who had a meltdown that her Lexus came a day early! The one who had security remove the cute stoner guy! gakkk! I waste more time on My Super Sweet Sixteen than I would care to admit!!!!!!!

Real estate shows... like the house hunting one with the three houses and you don't know till then end which one they pick? Yes? YES???!!

blythe said...

dan - beggars banquet? ok, that's not a bad one. but, remember the 80s? not good. not good at all. the beatles had the decency to split up and/or die.

jebus - why, thanks. but really? the who? i could see led zepplin, yes. they are karate. but the who?

annie - i don't think you understand, i'll totally buy them off of you.

stewpid - did you watch the movie sunday night? it was worse than bird on a wire. i'm addicted to any show featuring trademark properties. it's a sickness. i'm in love with ginger, i mean richard.

Dan said...

whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. whoa.

A. I have to take issue with the "not a bad one" characterization unless that's code for "hands down one of the greatest rock and roll albums of all time"

B. The real reason for the whoas: I thought it was understood that the framework of the Stones v Beatles classic argument did NOT include the 80's. Whenever I've been involved in the SvB or BvS debate there has been the unspoken assumption that the 80's (or late 70's really) never happened and that we're talking strictly about Old Stones. It is fortunate that the Beatles broke up so that we didn't have to suffer through their trying to handle the burden of their past and the desire to stay artistically creative and relevant in their efforts to create new music. It is unfortunate that the Stones did not and we were subjected to the 80's (with a minor caveat for 81's Tattoo You's "Waiting on a Friend", which was actually written in 72 during the Goats Head Soup sessions). But for the purposes of my refusal to choose one over the other, I'm talking about everything up to and including Goat Heads Soup. I have a personal soft spot for Some Girls, but since the Beatles broke up in 70 and Goat Heads Soup came out in 73 and their music changed after that, that's usually considered the end of the "Old Stones". Some may call this type of stipulation cheating, and maybe it is, but all I'm really saying is that their production between 64 and 73 is ridiculously awesome and I personally could not choose between that discography and the Beatle's between 60 and 70. Just clarifying lest you and your readers thought that I was likening "Steel Wheels" to "Revolver" or something.

stewpid said...

I did not watch the movie. I just like the actual spoiled bitches.

Ooh, I forgot another faovrite: the guy who had his at the mall and fell apart because the btiches was fallin off the pretend stage.

ps Some Girls is the only Stones album I like and I LOVE it. Bring me alllll yo moneyyyyyy.

Beau said...

Definitely Beatles overall, but I like Paint it Black and Sympathy for the Devil better than most any Beatles' song that is not on Rubber Soul or Revolver.

Rose said...

Remember the night we did karaoke at the bar in florence (i can't remember the name of it anymore, how sad is that?)? i believe you, me and laura p sang a little "Oh Darling" together at our table... such good times.