Some highlights in the friendship of Lacey and Blythe:
- We meet in second grade-ish. Love at first sight in Ms. Wilson's class. We learn to mutiply and divide. One of us excels at this. I will let you guess.
- Baton performances in school talent shows. We are awesome. Our outfits are even awesomer.
- Catholic camp nightmare (I am not Catholic, in fact, I am not anything - awkward!)
- I'm too cool for middle school and relegate Lacey to after school friend status in favor of Limited Too wearing Brookhavenites whose parents drove Explorers and went to Breckenridge to ski during spring break. This lasts for about two minutes until I realize I am a total tard with braces in honor choir.
- X-tina and I do all kinds of weird things to Lacey during 8th-9th grade. Not sure why. Did we think we were funny? We did glue quarters to pay phone banks. Ha.
- Lacey plays tennis in high school, I buy a racket and have a yearbook photo taken, but we manage to go to a few tournaments together. She is very tan. I am jealous.
- We bake a lot of weird cakes and make our brothers eat them.
- I make Lacey participate in endless videotaped pieces of shit productions including talk shows, musical, the contents of my closet, music videos with elaborate sets and costumes. Yes. We have a band. It started off as Nephilim, but was changed to String Bean Philp (not me! it was x-tina!). We have one unselling album. Laceys is a songstress of the highest degree. She can also play bongos. I, of course, played cello and shook a jar full of macaroni. We sing a song about a dolphin store.
- We are awkward around boys from 1997 until present.
- We go to school in MA, but not together. I visit her in Boston, though. We eat chicken fried steak at the Chili's in Copley and watch independent movies. I complain about BU's security. Funny story - on Lacey's 21st, we were at a bar/dancey place in Boston and I am propositioned for a threesome.
- We lose touch except for holidays when I become a dick and only spend time with the exbf's family (mistake # 4,762,994).
- But now, we are together again! Across the street in our childhood bedrooms.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LACEY!
Photo courtesy of x-tina.
You are one good BFF*, even if I'm not.
*I think "BFF" might be trademarked by Seventeen Magazine. Not sure.
17 comments:
seriously, you totally left the best parts out. the gritty details. playing pioneer women in the backyard? doing the wash? and what exactly were those mean things you did to lacey in 8/9th grade? we demand a follow up.
I'm confused. Where does Oklahoma play into all of this?
ah, Vacation Bible School. those were the days. Crafts for Jesus, rah rah rah!
mr. shain - she liked a certain someone and we were pretty relentless about it. also, we had this weird birthday party for her in a park with cupcakes that probably freaked her out. i think we burned stuff once. we were just weird.
cherry - i don't get it. i didn't wear my clver (poop free) pants today.
dan - oh, this was more than VBS. this was catholics in the woods. actually, most of it was pretty great. it's where i learned about they might be giants and barry manilow. gt's.
church camp is where i learned how to do 'shrooms (does anyone call them that anymore?) and smoke pot. i thought it was awesome.
lacey. even though i know you not, i wish you a happy birthday. you sound like a cool person.
b, did you play the cello and shake the macaroni at the same time? 'cause you should go on 'america's got talent'
"We are awkward around boys from 1997 until present." Ah ha ha ha
honor choir?!
and speaking of really lame musical productions, you will apprec that I was actually IN "Oklahoma." In 7th grade. As a.... get ready.... "SPECIAL DANCER."
d - catholic camp on shrooms (i still say that) woulda been the shit. and l-ma is good people. everyone would like her. i did play both. i also played guitar with my feet and keyboard with my mouth. i used to be so talented. now all i can do is read gawker.
annie - sad, but true. still true. honor choir was, well, quite an honor. i still sing like a bird. a dying bird. nice one! special dance, tiny dancer, private dancer - they're all good.
Blythe - This is the best post ever!
And what I also meant to say was thanks for contributing to an awesome birthday! I really didn't expect a chronicle and am sad I didn't read it until today. It was really a good gift, sometimes I forget all those things. Good job keeping it on the DL yesterday. You're the best!
So, what happened with the threesome?
Did you tape it? What words should I Google to see it?
i would respond to lacey, but she will never read this.
jeanette - i chickened out. as usual.
that birthday cake brought a tear to my eye. precious!
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