Friday, December 29, 2006

An Oklahoma Christmas in Numbers:

9 hours spent aimlessly wandering the Atlanta airport where I decided southern people are way better looking than Yankees (they're also not assholes). No offense.
6 of The Most Delicious Chicken Nuggets Ever consumed at said airport.
2 movies - (Casino Royale and The Good Shepherd).
1 trip to the drive-in for sweet, sweet Pickle-O's.
1, 284 times I've been called "sweetie," "honey," "darlin,'" "sweetheart," etc.
1 totally awesome celebrity sighting, hell, I met him! I love you Kayne (and Kanye too).
1 realization that I will always be smitten with my gay non-boyfriend from high school.
60 - the average temp of an Oklahoma winter - yay global warming!
1 free haircut (finally). Thanks mom!
42 trucks or SUV's I counted on the way to the mall, which I went to 4 times because there is nothing else to do in this Godforsakentown. Except drink, which I did for a solid week. And for only about $5 a trip! Reason enough to move home...)
1 fantastically awesome night with 10 of the coolest (read biggest nerds) kids in high school.
3 gin (Hendrick's - that's right, liquor is cheaper than water in OK) and tonics and 2 vodka tonics swilled before embarking on a 6 hour make-out session with 1 old boyfriend(ish).
1 friend named Alex who is the funniest kid I've ever met and needs to start a blog ASAP.
4 new pairs of heels.
1 new eyeliner and a $25 "free" gift from Clinique (Watch out boys! I done learned how to put on make up).
3 hours across the prairie to the g-rents for the most unfulfilling gift exchange ever - 3 hours back too, but we did score this!
2 hours total I've seen my brother - he's way cooler than I am and has been out all night almost every night. Whatev.
3 walks with my totally neurotic yet endearing dog, Claire.
5 conversations about abortion rights and gay weddings that almost ended in bar fights.
4 enchiladas I happily shoved into my pudgy little face - I gotta stock up. Mexican food in MA is more ridiculous than Miss Nevada getting a second chance.
11am - I got to sleep in!
3 times I was asked why I wasn't married. I am 25 after all. What else do I have to do besides get hitched and pop out babies?
80,000 text messages sent and received. I refuse to speak to you on the phone anymore. Send it in writing, please.
14 naps per day for the parents - are they that old?
600 channels!!!!!!!!!!
1 trip to Tulsa completing my Oklahoma '06 tour. I've seen it all. And there's not much.
1 delicious dinner of chicken fried steak. There is nothing better even though you've never heard of it. Don't even try.
12 mixed cds made out of desperation because the radio stations here only play Beyonce and Nickleback. Seriously.
4 days I've gone without reading Gawker. Gasp!
3 friends I dearly miss in MA. And one pug. And one cat.


alabra said...

you're missed too! stock up on sleep this upcoming week, because when i get back, i'm coming out again (ahhh 5 week break)!

Siobhlogger said...

we miss you too! and that includes our "plus one" dog! get ready for some massholes and suburu driving-lesbian loving-12 channels-no more free dinners or shopping trips Northampton.

bee-spot said...

so true, so true.

well, it's my last hurrah here till the next time i can scrape up enough dough for the flight home. gonna go tip a cow and think of you guys! (read i'm getting drunk until my plane leaves at 6 tomorrow morning...)