Goulet Wednesday News Round Up

Here it is, friends. Actually, does anyone read this? I do it for all of you that, you know, have lives and shit, but still want to keep up with the important stuff. What can I say, I'm a giver.

In no particular order:

• She's no Britney, but still. Lay off Lohan. [WWTDD]
• Oh really? Good for you, Jakester - as long as our mutual friend Chris is still single, that is. [ICYDK]
• Stabler will totally fuck you up, Jones. Watch out. Law and Order. More like Slaw and Chowder. Heh. (the worst joke ever, I know) [Jossip]
• My second husband (after Ira Glass, of course). [A.V. Club]

I love you.

• Jeez people. Also, I'd like to point out that if you consider homely exotic, in substantial student loan debt poverty and Oklahoma a third world locale, then I am totally up for adoption. [Just Jared]
• You're fucking with me, right? [Defamer]
• Damn, everyone hates my half-sized doppleganger. Wha'd she do that's so awful? [dlisted]
• Simpson's movie: yay! Aqua Teen: awesome! TMNT: fuck yeah!
• Whatever Columbia kids. Two things: 1) Smith is just as good, except not. 2) Uh, hello, he's a doctor and he's totally saved a ton of people on the island. 3) He's hot. [Gawker]