-Roommate#1 was running late due to a meeting and called me so that I could read him the ENTIRE menu and we could order for him. G-pa did not like this and kept yelling fake menu items into my phone. You have not lived until you've had to scream "8oz prime rib for $16.99" twelve times into your cell with an angry room full of diners. Roomful?
-G-pa is wearing a diamond encrusted gold pinky ring. I am now convinced he is connected. He is a Mason, after all.
-Brother bee-spot casually mentions that our harried server has forgotten to bring the bread. "Tell him when he comes back," says G-pa. "No, I'll just wait till he gets to it, he looks busy," says BB. "You'd have been dead if you were a Jew in Germany* with that attitude." WHAT?!
-My roommate and his mother are trying to think of an old schoolmate's name. Begins with an H... "Heather?" says G-ma. "Helen?" says roommate#1. "Hitler?*" yells out G-pa.
-Said harried server was trying his best, he really was. G-ma asks him if they're shorthanded. He says that a lot of people quit this week. She says, maybe it's your disposition.
-G-pa insisted on giving the server a wad of cash (I think he's the type that doesn't trust banks - he used to give my brother and I hundreds of dollars in rolled quarters) at the beginning of the meal to prevent, oh hell, Dad, from paying the tab. Unfortunately, he underestimated and had to throw a bit more in, which became a bit awkward. Especially when G-ma had to loudly whisper to the poor, embattled server to make sure he was tipped enough.
-Needless to say, Brother bee-spot and I stopped off at the liquor store on the way home.
*My g-pa was certainly not in WWII. In fact, I think he was born in the mid 30's, which puts him in his early adolescence at best. I have no idea what his deal is, although, G-ma said he wanted The Dirty Dozen for his b-day.
3 comments:
the sad part about this story is that your evening was likely more or less the same as ever other diner in the steak & ale in oklahoma city.
special dinners i remember with the OK "g-rents" included such sparking topics as: "Our mayor is a black" and "I tried to have sex with him" (both from the mouth of my, rest in peace, grandmother).
...
did your G-Pa spend anytime in Argentina after WW2? Like 20 years in hiding?
he is fluent in spanish. hmm.
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