Monday, April 30, 2007

Reason number 1,368.29 to not have a small dog.*

Today I was fortunate enough to take my subbing abilities to the next level. High School. Oh yes. I subbed for an AP English class. That in itself was horrifying (there's no effing way these kids are passing the test), but what will stick in my mind forever is the following.

One girl in the class happens to have a mother who is a vet and began talking about dogs, show dogs, etc. This led to everyone chiming in with this or that about their pets, blah blah blah. Everything is all benign until one young lady starts to tell a tale of her chihuahua and the laundry room. Apparently, the pup hopped in the front loading dryer. The girl put it on high for an hour and proceeded to make a phone call. She dismissed the loud thumping as shoes, until she realized she hadn't put any shoes in the dryer. What was in the dryer was a broken chihuahua. The whole class was stunned into silence. I will have nightmares tonight. And appreciate my rather largish dog Claire, even though she is the most neurotic dog out there. Those who have encountered her will not argue. It's a fact. But she's cute. In a dingo kind of way.

http://www.graveyards.com/qi/aarrowood.jpg

*No offense Tucker. You are of course the exception.

8 comments:

Siobhlogger said...

Tucker says thanks for the exception. The only thing he would ever jump into is the shower. And only when it's hot out. Sweet dreams!

Mr. Shain said...

remember when you weren't a bitch? wait...

Mr. Shain said...

my mother had a friend who did the same thing to a cat (which is apparently not all that uncommon). it jumped into the dryer, but she didn't discover it until the load was finished. you can tell if the girl's story is true by asking her if she had a hard time getting the dog out of the dryer... word is that the skin begins to peel off (from the heat and battering) when you try to pick up your former shell of a pet. best to keep a large scoop in your laundry room, just in case.

Mr. Shain said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matt said...

Dingo ate my baby.

Alex said...

that's too bad for that girl. at any rate, your post reminded me of this:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=KQ05MVsrt8c

blythe said...

shain - i have never not been a bitch. let's get real. plus, you remind me all the time. also, that is horrifying. nightmares galore. thanks.

matt - you had a baby? you never told me. hope it wasn't mine.

alex - damn, i love me some will ferrell.

the landshark said...

i have a friend whose brother once put a cat in a dryer. awful noise. cat turned out to be okay, just a little dizzy.

i was having a bit of a ferris bueller flash back there. "...my best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw ferris pass out at 31 flavors last night..."

sorry about that. i'll save that for another time. :)