Reason number 1,368.29 to not have a small dog.*

Today I was fortunate enough to take my subbing abilities to the next level. High School. Oh yes. I subbed for an AP English class. That in itself was horrifying (there's no effing way these kids are passing the test), but what will stick in my mind forever is the following.

One girl in the class happens to have a mother who is a vet and began talking about dogs, show dogs, etc. This led to everyone chiming in with this or that about their pets, blah blah blah. Everything is all benign until one young lady starts to tell a tale of her chihuahua and the laundry room. Apparently, the pup hopped in the front loading dryer. The girl put it on high for an hour and proceeded to make a phone call. She dismissed the loud thumping as shoes, until she realized she hadn't put any shoes in the dryer. What was in the dryer was a broken chihuahua. The whole class was stunned into silence. I will have nightmares tonight. And appreciate my rather largish dog Claire, even though she is the most neurotic dog out there. Those who have encountered her will not argue. It's a fact. But she's cute. In a dingo kind of way.

*No offense Tucker. You are of course the exception.

Zack Harrison Memorial Music Monday

Hey friends, here's what I'm listening to these days. Some old, some new. Enjoy. (WARNING: it's a little sad bastard.)

On Your Porch - The Format: I'm telling you, these guys are great. Just listen.

Waltz #1 - Elliott Smith: I feel a special bond with Elliott Smith as he went to Hampshire College, which is one of the five colleges. It's the one with barn parties, drum circles, a marijuana plant as the school emblem, looks like a commune. It's great, really.

Lua - Bright Eyes: No one can make me feel so down as Mr. Oberst. God love him.

Hello Tomorrow - Karen O. and Squeak E. Clean: Remember that Adidas commercial. I think someone was running while a drop of water. It's short, I know, but yeah. Also, songs from commercials: Son's Gonna Rise - Citizen Cope.

Back to Black - Amy Winehouse: I think she and Jamie Lidell should do something together. But no one asked me.

My Moon Man - Feist: Who doesn't love Feist?



The Funeral - Band of Horses: I don't know what this song reminds me of, but I really like it. It's nice to listen to at night with the windows open.

Playground Love - AIR: I don't get The Virgin Suicides, I'm not going to lie. I've seen better. But I do love the music.

On The Radio - Regina Spektor: Just darling, mentions November Rain, what's better than that? Oh, right, the video has little kids!!

Cheer It On - Tokyo Police Club: Gets me all riled up.

If Looks Could Kill - Camera Obscura: I really, really didn't want to jump on the Camera Obscura bandwagon, but here I am.

Arctic Monkeys - Brainstorm: Another band I kind of avoided because everyone was all up in their butts, but I do like them. I do. Still, this has potential to be in iPod commercial song. Bleh.

Pieces of People We Love - The Rapture: If I were in charge of choosing music for movies, this song would be perfect for a slow montage where a group is walking in slow motion determination. But no one would be foolish enough to let me be in charge of music for movies.

Charlotte Gainsbourg - The Songs That We Sing: See, I told you, sad bastard. Oh well.

The Winterpills: Here's a nice little post with a few mp3s.

Um...

that whole tonight's the night thing? Bad idea. I am never drinking again. You heard it here first.

A few things

Restaurant Review:

Shain was in the mood for sushi. The only sushi serving restaurant (that should tell you something) in Norman happens to be in my neighborhood. So, there we were, eating sushi on a Saturday afternoon. Sounds lovely. However, I'm less than impressed with this establishment. My favorite thing about the menu is that there's an "f" indicating fresh fish and a "c" indicating cooked fish next to each item. The "c" selections far outnumber "f." Lose 10 points. I got my spicy tuna roll and, well, by spicy they mean squirt some Sriracha on it, of which I am a big fan, but man, I miss the crunchy spicy tuna roll made by good ol' Sam at Moshi Moshi in Noho. It was the shit. This was just kinda shitty. C for effort.

Career Review:

So, I've got a job prospect as an Immigration Specialist (sexy, I know) at which I would make a fair amount of money, BUT it's in Tulsa. Do I really want to move to Tulsa? Living in Tulsa is not in my plan, but making money is. Hmm. I told Shain of this and my other plan to pursue alternative certification as a teacher for the state of OK. He said something peculiar, and by peculiar I mean MEAN to this. You, a teacher? What grade would you teach? What would you teach? I said probably high school. High school English. Then he said, do you even know the canon? It's not you, it's me. I just can't imagine you as an English teacher. What? I'll show you canon. I think I would make a fine high school English teacher. I just finished a Lauren Weisberger novel. Not qualified my ass.

Camping/Rock Climbing:

Camping and rock climbing were a part of my former life, that sometimes I loathed because it was never my choice to do these things, but now I am profoundly missing. I really do love being dirty, hungry, cold, and attacked by bugs and other wildlife all night. If you are interested in either and live anywhere near me, let's go! I'm ready.

Yesterday's Post:

Shain said it wasn't funny. My brother laughed. Maybe you just have to know Mother Bee-Spot. I dunno. If you are reading this and attend Noble Middle School, please disregard that post. It's not about who you think...

I've been so good lately:

I feel like I've been missing a lot of fun lately in an attempt to be somewhat responsible and kinder to my body. Well, screw that. Tonight's the night! Maybe. I'm kind of tired from gardening. Yup, that's right. I was gardening all day. Jealous?

It's Friday, I'm in Love

with my mother. Which is natural, I suppose, but in the case of my mother, well. She's something else. Today's blog post has two acts.

Act I:

Last Sunday, my mother and I took a trip to the lovely Penn Square Mall to purchase an iPod at the Apple Store for my father's upcoming birthday (and yes, that means literally everyone now in the entire world has one except for me. Except I did. But anyway.). For some reason, I decided that this purchase must be made at an Apple store, which was a mistake. Taking my mother to a store full of electronics and douchey sales associates is not a good idea. I lead her to the display table (which I myself have had trouble with in the past) brimming with iPods of various sizes, colors, capacities, etc and she eyes the price tag. $249! she exclaims. Our computer cost less than that! Well, no it didn't, Mom. No, it didn't. The computer nerd cum hipster sales associate hones in for what he thinks will be a slam dunk.

Mom: Hi, we're looking for an iPod for her Dad's (gesturing toward me - her dad? is she also getting him the gift of divorce?) birthday.

Douchebag Sales Guy: Ok, well, we have a few options here. What would he be using it for mostly?

M: Well, in his car. He likes to listen to iPod casts of people talking. Does this come with headphones (picking up the spec sheet)? He'll need headphones so he can listen to it in the car.

Me: Mom, I think that's illegal.

DSG: Yeah, that's definitely illegal. He'll need a car adapter.

M: So, we'll need to take his car to the dealership to have them put in an adapter?

Me: No, we'll get him something for his car.

DSG: Well, what kind of car does he have? He might already have one.

[Me: Desperately, angrily shooting DSG death looks for asking such a complicated question.]

M: It's a Toyota. They're great cars.

DSG: Yeah, um, so, what year?

Me: You know what? We'll cross that bridge later, first we need to get the iPod. I think we want the 30g. That should be more than enough for him.

M: Ok, so this is like a Blackberry, right? I mean, it's a phone and palm pilot too? He can email? With the internet?

DSG: Um, I'll let you two discuss. Let me know if you need any help. I'll be... (runs away)

Me: No, this simply plays mp3s, podcasts and video (realizing instantly none of this is simple).

Mom: So, how does he get mpgs onto this thing? Do you stick it in that hole in the computer?

Me: No, that's a slot for cds. He can use iTunes to put music and other stuff on the iPod.

Mom: Ok, so we'll pay $.99 like in the commercials and then he can get as many songs as he wants? How do they get from your credit card to the computer?

Me: Have you ever used our computer? Have you ever seen iTunes? You watch the Daily Show, I thought you knew this kind of stuff.

Mom: Why would I need to know about this stuff?

Me: Give me your credit card and go wait outside.

...

Act II:

As previously mentioned, my mother is an administrator at a public school in rather rural Oklahoma. As such, the tedious days tend to be filled with things you can't even imagine including, but not limited to, custody battles involving shot guns, exploding meth labs across the street from the school, pregnant eighth graders - with their second child, cutters, dealers, cheerleaders, girls taking nudie pics of themselves on their cell phones, etc. It's a good time. So, you can see how one might need to blow off a little steam every now and then, the problem is my mother has the tolerance of an Asian toddler. State testing just ended, so last night seemed like the perfect time for her and her group of teacher friends. [My car has yet to arrive, so we are all still sharing, which means that, long story short, a friend took her to the bar, but she was relying on me for a ride home.]

[My cell rings.]

Mom: Are you there?

Me: Yes. Are you ready?

Mom: No, I was just checking your brother's cell phone and he's got a message from someone saying he's writing their bio paper. What's that about?

Me: Two things. 1) why do you have his phone? 2) he has an AP bio review. He's not writing someone's paper.

Mom: Yes he is. [pause] Do you have the car? Are you coming to pick me up? Someone just called your brother? Is he writing a biography?

Me: Yes, I will be there shortly.

I arrive at the very festive read tacky Tex-Mex establishment to find my mother seated at the patio amongst her friends and some people I've never met before, but soon would.

Mom: Blythe! You're here! This is Brandon! He's rich! And single! He's Brandon's brother! I mean Miranda's brother! [to Brandon] See? Isn't she sort of cute?

Me: (Yeah, thanks for that vote of confidence there Mom.) Hi. I'm Blythe.

Teacher next to me: Our bill is $439! Can you figure out the tip?

Me: (Holy shit!) Aren't you a math teacher? (she doesn't hear me, thankfully, and she is.)

Mom: Blythe! You're here! This is Brandon! He's rich! And single! He's Brandon's brother! I mean Miranda's brother! [to Brandon] See? Isn't she sort of cute?

Me: Uh, I think it's time to go.

Mom: What? But you just got here.

Brandon: Can't I buy you at least one drink? David! She needs a drink. (screaming to their bedraggled server - sweet Jesus I hope they remembered to leave the tip I figured for them.)

Me: Actually, I've got plans tonight, we should be going.

Brandon: Where? Where ever it is, I'll see you there.

Me: Er, actually, I'm not sure yet. Mom, I think it's time to go.

[In the car]

Mom: Did you get the car thing worked out with your brother?

Me: Obviously. I'm driving you, aren't I? What all did you drink?

Mom: Three shots of Patron and two margaritas.

Me: Holy shit. How are you not dead. (Seriously, folks, you think I can't hold my liquor, you should see this lady after two Bartles and James.)

Mom: This is a weird tape you're listening to.

Me: It's a cd.

Mom: I thought you had an iPod.

Me: [can't speak]

Mom: Brandon's rich! You should go out with him! Because he's rich.

Me: Uh.

Mom: Did you meet Brandon? He's rich.

Me: Why was his arm around you?

Mom: Oh, you know. Just hanging out.

Me: No, I don't know.

Mom: Someone kept pinching my ass.

Me: WHAT?

Mom: Are we home yet? Do we have milk? I'd really like some cereal.

Me: Who was touching your butt?

Mom: Remember when I was pretty? I used to be so pretty.

Me: [eyes rolling back in head, bad for driving, it turns out] Mom, you are still very pretty. You were a beauty queen.

Mom: No, I'm not pretty like I was.

Me: You're skinnier than me. That counts for something.

Mom: Brandon is so rich!

I safely deposit my mother on the couch to watch a little 30 Rock. She promptly closes her pretty eyes tightly.

...

God love her. I know I do.

They're Bringing Sexy Back

Just caught this on MOKB. Take a listen to Rock Plaza Central's brilliant cover.

This one goes out to you, G-race.

sexyback - Rock Plaza Central

Regret Town, U.S.A.

There are a lot of things I regret. Most things, actually. It's weird, though, the things that stick in my head. It's not the big stuff, but these strange little-ish things that pop up every now and then.

• My dad bought me a purple My Little Pony with white daises on its butt. Then he took me to Sonic for a cherry vanilla coke. This was when I was maybe 4. I remember taking the pony and throwing it out the window, telling him she wanted to be free.
  

• About the same time, a storm blew a robin's nest out of the tree in my backyard. All of the pretty blue eggs lay cracked on the ground but one. I took it inside and tried to incubate it while watching cartoons. I broke it.
• On the killing of innocent animals theme, I was at Frontier City (shitty western themed amusement park in OKC) and was running to the Renegade Rapids ride. I slipped on something and fell. I'd run over a frog.
• In high school, I was a total bitch to my English teacher and had no problem letting her know it. Once she asked me if I didn't like her. I looked at her like she was crazy. Of course I like you, I said.
• When I was about 10, I had the stomach flu and my dad bought me an easy bake oven as a distraction, I suppose. A weird distraction for someone puking, but nevertheless, a sweet thought. Until I left the little spatula in it reducing it to a melted mass of vanilla smelling plastic.
• I cheated on my high school boyfriend by making out drunkenly with this total whack job. Shouldn't have done that.
• My mom's stepmother used to buy me these stupid birthday angels every year. They're ceramic and ugly and awful and I loaded them all up in a box when I was 18 and shook them up. I think I told my mom I accidentally gave them to charity with other stuff when I was moving out.

• When I was in elementary school, I really wanted to be one of the cool kids. I wanted to go shopping in Dallas, attend the father-daughter ski trip in Breckenridge, go to camp Kanakomo, wear Guess jeans and Cole-Haan loafers, etc. As a result, I deemed L-Ma an out of school friend only until probably 7th grade.
• On New Years Day 2000, I brought home a puppy (Claire!) that I told my parents I'd found on the side of the road when really, I'd seen an ad for her at a local grocery store, then went to pick her up at a farm where there was a 20 foot high Jolly Green Giant replica in the yard.
• Back in my jazz dancing days, probably when I was 12 or so, I had this teacher that was teaching us a dance to the Prince song from Batman. I totally rolled my eyes and told her the song was retarded. She changed the song to Someday, by Mariah Carey. We sucked.
  

Goulet Wednesday News Round Up

*It's official: Rosie is leaving The View to pursue a full time career in stand up comedy talk show host Broadway stardom magazine creator Broadway production mother talk show domineer Donald Trump hating? [TMZ]

*I've seen skinnier. Come on Posh. Just vegetables? You're going to have to do better than that. How about just water. [A Socialite's Life]


*I can't spare a square. I can kinda see where K-Rove got off telling Sheryl "Poohands" Crow not to touch him. [Celeb News Wire]

*Her love certainly does cost a thing. In fact, it costs $50,000 per minute. [IDLYITW]

*Ok, that's it. Pack my bags, I'm going to rehab. And investing in Red Bull. [Pretty Boring]
In a related story, that's my girl! [Scoop]


*Oh Heidi, I'm sure Spencer loved you just the way you were and didn't demand that you get a boob job and new nose. He's not like that. [Dlisted]

*This one's for the troops. [BWE]

*Another one bites the dust. [Glitterati Gossip]

Having a nemesis is hard work.

Trust me. I've had the same nemesis since 1999. Since we're being honest here, I have to admit I have a hard time remembering the exact circumstances that secured him as my nemesis (that's a lie, I know the exact date - it's kind of like how everyone knows where you were when you found out that Anna Nicole kicked it). Upon reflection now that I'm supposedly older and wiser (well, older at least. zing! didn't see that one coming, did you?), I'm realizing that in spite of the totally heinous (and I don't use that word lightly because I hate it as much as moist, panties, mayonnaise and blouse) shit that went down, I need to let bygones be bygones or whatever that idiot idiom is. But first, I want to thank you for nearly eight years of service. Now, I will transfer all of my ill will to the fucking speed humps that have cropped up in my neighborhood. Ordinarily, I'm not opposed to speed humping. I have a short attention span and am not particularly flexible. However, these happen to be horrible raised welts of asphalt assaulting the main thoroughfare of my neighborhood. Because going 20 isn't slow enough. Well, fuck you speed humps. Especially when I forget about you and spill my $4 coffee all over myself. Normally, I'd blame this on my nemesis, but you're off the hook.

Blythe's Nemesis
1999 - 2007
Died Tragically Rescuing His Family From The Remains Of A Destroyed Sinking Battleship.

Zack Harrison Memorial Music Monday: Embarrassment City

I am an awkward dancer - I mean, like Elaine having seizures. Last night, while rigidly bopping along to the musical stylings of Mike Hosty at The Deli, eighth grade algebra crush spotted me and grabbed me by the arm forcing me to participate in the most awkward of dances. I tried to appear carefree, flexible, having a great time, all that stuff, but inside, I was dying. I am anything but carefree. I am not flexible. I rarely have a good time or any of that stuff. And I can not spontaneously and effectively bar dance to alt-country. But I tried. I've been having those embarrassing flashbacks all day. Thank you Mr. Hobbes.

In this spirit, I present you with my list of songs that I find embarrassing to like. Perhaps controversial, but I find these songs to be of little musical or lyrical value although culturally relevant in some ways. Blah.

I Knew I Loved You - Savage Garden

Back For Good - Take That

Give It To You - Jordan Knight

Supergirl - Krystal Harris

anything by Robyn

How Bizarre - OMC

Cruisin' - Huey Lewis and Gwyneth Paltrow

Lovefool - The Cardigans

Don't Stop Believing - Journey

One More Time - George Michael

Love Is A Battlefield - Pat Benatar

She's Like the Wind - Patrick Swayze

Semi Charmed Life - Third Eye Blind

Two Princes - Spin Doctors

Don't Turn Around - Ace of Base

Against All Odds - Phil Collins
Against All Odds - Mariah Carey

You Were Meant For Me - Jewel

everything by Christina Aguilera - esp. Dirty

It Must Have Been Love - Roxette

Copacabana - Barry Manilow

Levon - Elton John

Gloria - Laura Branigan

Eternal Flame - The Banlges (Susanna Hoffs melts my heart.)

Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

I am much happier now that I have had brunch, even if it was on a Sunday. Much happier. Also, I got my ass kicked at scrabble last night, but I'm ok with that. All is well.

In the meantime, this has been floating around the internets (most recently on Mr. Shain's favorite, [redacted]) and if you haven't seen it, watch it now because I will be quoting it and you will need to know what I'm talking about.

Check it:

Wheels: The movie.

p.s. I feel like I'm rolling on water!

Please, someone, salvage this terrible weekend.

So, last night Mr. Shain had the brilliant idea of bowling. The white trash in me loves cheap beer. The girl in me loves shoes. The whore in me loves balls. It's a perfect match. We make our way to the skeezy east side bowling ally and belly up to the counter. It's going to cost us $32 to freaking bowl. WHAT? Apparently, on Friday nights after 10pm, it becomes "Xtreme Bowl." And that costs $15 (+ tax) per person. I don't think so. This left Shain and I to visit the all American establishment Braum's where he ordered an insane amount of ice cream and I got a limeade that was so sour it made my face turn inside out. Then we plopped down in front of Harv's barbecue trailer (seriously) and Shain proceeded to psychoanalyze me. Emphasis on the psycho. Emphasis on me.

Then, today, I wake up bright and early (not hungover!) and headed to Starbucks (sorry - we have no other options in this fair city) for my Americano. The little strip mall the Starbucks is in is the most upscale area of Norman. This is where the Talbots is, the J. Jill, the Chicos, the Jos. A. Bank, the health club, 236 banks, little boutiques run by former sorority girls whose children have left for college and have since been replaced by newer models at home and at junior league (ok, none of that is particularly upscale, but in Oklahoma beggars can't be choosers). They have conspired together to have a spring fashion show. I tell you all of this because while in Starbucks, someone rushes in explaining that they need more models. She eyes the svelte baristas, I mean, these girls weigh maybe 100/105. They are deemed to "big" to fit into the sample sizes. I hate everything. I'm surprised they didn't ask me to model for the plus sized portion of the show. Oh wait, they wouldn't have such a thing. Turds. Back to my coffee/vodka/cigarettes diet.

Immediately following, I made the trek to the farmer's market. I thought it would make me feel better to be surrounded by local produce, fresh flowers, tomato plants, hippies with b.o., etc. WRONG. Apparently, today was yippie couple day. As I've stated before, I do not want to be in a relationship, per se, but if I were, I would want one of these shaggy haired, bearded, faded t-shirt wearing, Teva sporting, NPR appreciating, organic food buying, Shins listening, Subaru driving, wedding ring flashing, baby loving guys.



Also, no one is really interested in brunch here. I am a big fan of brunch even though I know it's overpriced, blah blah blah. There are a couple of places in town serving a traditionalish brunch, but only on Sunday. Jerks. Perhaps my calling is to open a restaurant. But probably not. Oh Hollandaise.

It's Friday, I'm in Love

with the memory of living room forts. Remember? Somehow, cobbling together an extremely precarious structure from couch cushions, pillows, throw blankets and various chatchkes as weights was pretty much the most fun you could have in your own living room (well, as a child anyway). The best part was when your mom would let you sleep in it or at least let it stay up over night. Scratch that, the best part was jumping on it to destroy it.

Spring meant that you could take fort making outside. We had a large pile of bricks left over from when our house was built that was employed every year in some sort of dangerous structure. How I am not more brain damaged, I don't know.

Spring also meant I made L-Ma play this wretched game with me I lovingly called "Pioneers." I am from Oklahoma, you see, and on April 22 each year we celebrate a little thing called 89er Day. This parade commemorates when a bunch of people stole land from American Indians. Manifest Destiny y'all! Remember that cinematic tour de force Far and Away starring Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman? Yeah, it's like that. It's not quite as fashionable to celebrate this "holiday" now as it was when I was in elementary school. Then we had square dancing and a mini land run. Of course, all of this had to be done in costume. Hence my need to make myself and L-Ma don "prairie dresses" complete with bonnets and wander around my backyard doing fun things like "the wash" and digging up dirt to build our sod house. To this day, she has not forgiven me for this. Ask her.

Related links:

2007 Norman 89er Day
Oklahoma Land Openings 1889-2007
How to Build a Fort

Soundtrack of your weekend. (I am not doing the legwork for you. If you don't trust me now, you never will.):

Forever Lost - The Magic Numbers
Trouble With Dreams - Eels
To Be Alone With You - Sufjan Stevens
Parentheses - The Blow (This chick is awesome!)
Hey Boy - The Blow
Your Ex-Lover is Dead - Stars
Lloyd, I'm Ready to be Heartbroken - Camera Obscura
The Power Is On - The Go! Team (run! jump! kick! yeah!)
Junior Kickstart - The Go! Team
Forgotten Words - Klaxons
Kingdom of Doom - The Good, The Bad, and The Queen
We've Got A Big Mess On Our Hands - The Academy Is
Sewn - The Feeling (Vh1 worthy whining, but I like it)
Perfect Situation - Weezer
Delilah - Plain White T's (guilty pleasure of the moment)
Imitosis - Andrew Bird
North American Scum - LCD Soundsystem

This is what my fort would look like now:

Thank You Baby Jesus!

I have received confirmation: my car WILL BE ARRIVING in no less than one week, suckers. For all of you who thought it would never materialize, stand back and prepare for the ride of your life. Mainly because the engine mounts are shot and it vibrates more than a rabbit with a new battery, but also because the trunk holds all of my slutty summer shirts. Unfortunately, this means my days of driving a nice new Toyota Camry complete with a JBL sound system are over, ok sound system at all - the '92 Corolla's tape deck is defunct. Which means that I really need an iPod. So, shoot me an email if you'd like to donate to my iPod fund. I have a lot of Zach Braff/Stereogum/Pitchfork/KCRW/NPR/My Old Kentucky Blog approved music I need to blast.

(1992 Corolla, but mine is sexier and green)

+

(only $249, but trust me, I am worth every penny - don't ask anyone to verify this)

=

(me, happy)

Goulet Wednesday News Round Up

Hey folks,

Buckle your seat belts, it's that time again!

• Oh Paula. You just couldn't let Sanjaya hog the spotlight, could you. [MSNBC]

• Happy Birthday! Only what, probably two-three more years till your mom's contract is up? Then you can have a birthday with sound! [Defamer]

• This week in no duh news: Simon is an ass. [TMZ]

• Right Said Mayor [via BWE]

• Is that a nipple? J-Simp's got big ones. [WWTDD]

• There is nothing "complicated" about this outfit, Avril. You're totally punk! Rock on! not. [Popsugar] Also punktarded: [BWE]

• Noooooo! First Rachael and Adam and now this! I hope it's not true. Unless somehow Ryan Gosling moves to Norman, OK. Hey, it could happen. [The Bosh]

• Oh Lindsay. You will never change. And I love you for it. [A Socialite's Life]

On the Wagon (sort of)

So this weekend I decided to take it easy in the alcohol department as last weekend resulted in several unsavory moments including a restraining order from my liver. Also, it's official: I'm going to the beach this summer on a little vacay which means I need to reign in the excessive consumption. However, I'm conflicted because I think the best way to do this would be to participate in the vodka and cigarettes diet. I'll let you know.

Friday:

L-Ma and I made our way to a mall in the more upscale section of OKC to see The Namesake. Class all the way here in OK. I read the book and happen to think Jhumpa Lahiri is one of the sexiest authors ever, aside from Dr. Phil, obvs, because that's what's important in a writer. I was super excited to see the movie. It wasn't great, but not bad either. The point of this story is that, wait, there isn't a point.


Saturday:

Elated after another outstanding trip to Super Cao Nguyen (if you still haven't gone, go),


I was very disappointed to learn that the Neko Case show had been canceled. I had even made a special mix cd of her in preparation. Boo. Mr. Shain picked me up anyway and we headed into Bricktown (feeble attempt at OKC planners to create some sort of nightlife epicenter out of nothing replete with a fake canal and horse drawn carriages) in an effort to see what all of the fuss is about. Come to find out, there's no fuss or anything really. Shain parks 13.2 miles away from where Bricktown (I feel so stupid even typing "Bricktown") and as we walked, we passed this installment? I dunno what it is. I call it a buffalo garden. I almost broke the fence climbing in to have Shain take my picture, but they were ugly so you're not going to see it. After a bout of indecisiveness because we were distracted by men/boys wearing severely outdated striped button downs reeking of Wal-Mart knock off Douche cologne and ladies with their tanned bosoms pouring out of Wet Seal lycra, we settled on some bar that I've already forgotten the name of. It was lame to the max (much like this statement - oh the irony). It was Saturday night and there were about five people there, four of which I think were there to see the musical act, which was sad bastard music. Shain ordered me my first Manhatten, which I enjoyed, and that's about all I remember... Psych! We fucking closed the bar down. At 11pm. On our way back to the car, we notice that a prom was being held at the Civic Center. We proceeded to park directly in front of the venue, camera ready, just in case we could capture the magic that is an Oklahoma City public high school prom. Lots of top hats and fedoras. Who knew? I was too paranoid (the public exposure charge hasn't been dropped yet...) to actually take any shots. I've been regretting it ever since. So, we head home. Shain wants to catch a midnight movie, but they don't exist here. (You're not in LA anymore, Shain). The upside of this is that there's Waffle House! I opted out of finishing off the night at Riverwind Casino and hit the hay instead.

Bacon!

Sunday:

It had been two weeks since I'd seen my local music favorite, Mike Hosty. Something was missing from my life. Namely, songs about tornadoes and Sierra Nevada pale ale. This was remedied and then some Sunday. As a result, Monday sucked.

And that is my boring life.

Songs of the day (kickin' it old school):
Rich Girl - Hall and Oates
Fat Booty Pants - Mos Def
Honesty - Billy Joel
By Your Side - Sade

Will Ferrell stuff of the day:
Will Ferrell Movie Generator
The Landlord

Promise of the day:
Better posts to come.

Zack Harrison Memorial Music Monday

I've been slacking off in the music department. I really have nothing new to offer you, so I give you what I've been listening to on repeat. I promise better later.

Dream - Alice Smith: This lady is fucking awesome. This is what Jennifer Hudson wishes she sounded like (wait till the end). Also, it makes me kinda horny.

Let My Love Open the Door - M. Ward: If I ever get married, and that's a big if, I want this played at my wedding. This version. Not the shitty Pete Townsend version. This is the sweetest song known to man (right now anyway).

You Can Bring Me Flowers - Ray Lamontagne: I'm revisiting his latest album. Turns out it's still pretty good.

Hospital Beds - Cold War Kids: All part of my quest to convert everyone I know into CWK fans.

Find a Way - Smoosh: While my middle schoolers are picking their noses and eating it while breeding, these girls are legitimately rocking out.

Off the Record - My Morning Jacket: Sounds like summer.

Lonely Lonely - Feist: 1234 got me to relistening to my growing Feist collection. Heartbreaking, but hopeful.

The Truth - Handsome Boy Modeling School: This whole album is gold from start to finish, but I always listen to this one twice.

Bloggers Digest

Dear Reader(s),

I know that you have come to trust me more than your parents, priests and significant other(s) combined when it comes to important issues including, but not limited to inane celebrity gossip, crappy music, and the overall dullness that is my life. Well, trust me on this, too. I bring you the latest blogs I have found. By found, I mean I just click some links here and there when I'm bored. But they're good. According to me. And I have no taste. As you know.

Cajun Boy in the City - definitely check out Douchebag Considered (esp. the vid.)
Cotton & Sand
Hobocamp
i've been trying to reach you
Anonymous Midwest Girl
All Butter is Mine
this.

It's Friday, I'm in Love

with nothing because today was the worst day of middleschooldom yet. That's not true (well, sort of). I'm in love with Feist! Ever since she serenaded me with Mushaboom (which is my dream life), I'm putty in her adorable, Canadian hands. If this video won't cheer you up, just forget it and shoot yourself. Also, L-Ma, I'm wearing a sequined jump suit tonight! Two words: lucky you.

RIP Kurt V

Kurt Vonnegut is a lot of things. Great writer, partial reason I went to Smith College (he taught there for a bit - hung out downtown), dead.

Sitck Shifts and Safety Belts

First of all, let me apologize. 1) That was the worst Goulet Wednesday News Round Up in the history of the Goulet Wednesday News Round Up and there have been some pretty low moments for the Goulet Wednesday News Round Up. 2) The following post is semi-emotional, therefore boring and not remotely humorous.

Due to Break Up 06 (ok, and in part to Side Sweeping Bangs 07 a.k.a. trip to mulletville), I'm (still) kind of an emotional mess. Surprising, I know. Lately, when I envision myself as the star of a late 80's music video, I've been seeing myself in a suit singing (most likely purchased from the J.C. Penny's boys department) "Simply Undateable*" in front of a background of sleek, guitar wielding models a la Robert Palmer, but instead of singing "she's so fine, there's no telling where the money went," I omit she's, so, telling, where, the and went. You see, as much as I've bitched about it, I'm not really relationship ready. I'm still stuck in no-one-will-ever-really-like-me-in-fact-I-refuse-to-
believe-that-any-boy-actually-wants-a-girlfriend
land as a direct result of the emotional pummeling inflicted by the exbf. It's not fair to blame all of this on him, you say, to which I say, you didn't know him.

This, however, does not stop me from noticing the stirrings of emotions in my aforementioned robot heart made of scrap metal from the future (it is spring, after all). This weekend, I was watching 13 Going On 30 (whatever, I was hungover) and almost cried when I thought Mark Ruffalo and Jennifer Garner's characters weren't going to end up together. But tears rust. I've had a few opportunities here and there, let me tell you. Ok, I won't tell you because you probably want proof or something. Anyway, I "choose" to be single. It's best for all of us, trust me. However, this does not stop me from wanting certain aspects of coupledom. I want to stay in some Friday night playing board games or something equally uncool and know that it's perfectly alright because I will be sleeping with that person later and that's way better than slowly getting drunk at a bar alone - not that I do that - no really, I don't. I want to take a nap with someone in the middle of the day. I want them to think my soft snoring is cute (FYI it's neither soft nor cute - sorry) and let me burrow into their arm-nook. I want to wake up without thinking I just wasted half an hour. In the words of my heroine, Liz Lemon, "I just wanna listen to you play Halo until I fall asleep." But, apparently, such intimacy is preceded by uncertainty, awkwardness, vulnerability and the promise of fancy underwear and, frankly, I'm just not really down with any of that at this point. Tell me you like me and I won't believe you. Call me to ask me out and I won't answer. In other words, I am awesome.

In an effort to make myself feel better, I got new shampoo. I am a cheap bitch in most respects. I usually get the Suave knock off stuff, but while at the grocery store this weekend, I decided to take it up a notch and get Pantene. But not just any Pantene. Pantene Blond Expressions (insert joke about blond expressions here). I used it this morning, and let me tell you, am I pleased with this purchase (about $6.43). My hair was not blonder, per se (mainly because it's not really to begin with), but it was super shiny, soft and smelled like a sexy older lady.

*75% sure "undatable" is either spelled wrong or not really a word.

Goulet Wednesday News Round Up

• Imus said something really, really dumb. Well, guess what. He also looks dumb. Also, add up all the totally asinine things said by Bill O'Reilly, Nancy Grace, Lou Dobbs, Hannity, Limbaugh, the whole freaking bunch, etc and fire all of their asses. [Washington Post]

• 100 million iPods sold! Mainly, iThink, because 500 million were lost, stolen or broken. [Yahoo]
• Larry B's the daddy! So, now does that mean the Entertainment Tonight, Access Hollywood, The Insider, etc will be canceled (Finally? And replaced by a rerun of According to Jim? Please?)? When this season of Dancing with the Stars is (mercifully) over, there's literally nothing left. [Court TV]
• Andrew Bird references Lou Dobbs in song. Reason 1,365,732.62 that I love my AB. [Gawker]
• Doing the weather on NBC doesn't make you a meteorologist anymore than hosting a show on The Food Network makes you a chef (Rachel Ray), let alone suddenly make you a hard hitting correspondent, but whatever Imus' is an idiot. [Jossip]
  

• I need to move.
• Square yo be hip. [BWE]
• Obligatory Brit update. [The Bosh]

Special Goulet Wednesday News Round Up TV/Movie I saw on TV Feature!

This is what you should be watching because Sanjaya, Lost, Gilmore Girls and Greys suck donkey balls these days.

Human Giant: You know, those funny guys from Best Week Ever being hi-larious. But on MTV. It's too soon to say this, but I will anyway. It's kind of The State like. Really.

Acceptable TV: Better than a rerun of Scrubs and then some.

Freak Show: David Cross, H. Jon Benjamin (Home Movies anyone?) and a bearded clam.

Grandma's Boy: I have a thing for Nick Swardson. What can I say?

Zack Harrison Memorial Music Monday

I Will Never See the Sun - Great Lakes Swimmers: This is what I feel like right now. It's cold and gloomy out. Blah.

Pressure Suit - Aqualung: He's all dreamy and shit. I like that.

Half Awake - Someone Still Loves You Boris Yelstin: They're from Springfield, MO. I think they're either coming or were just at the Opolis here in Norman. Must check on that. Oh, however, I do know that The Hold Steady is coming to Norman. Yay!

Us - Regina Spektor: My friend refers to her as Vagina Spektor, but you know what? I still like her and her older stuff.

Ambulance - TV on the Radio: Sorry, can't find this one. I heard this song driving home one night from Umass about a year ago. Why was I at Umass? Let's not talk about that. Anyhoo, it was on the Umass radio station so it was all fuzzy and hard to understand. I got home, flopped down on the floor with my laptop and got to work trying to decipher the lyrics so that I could download the song. At that time, I have to admit, I had never heard of TVOTR. The Shame! So, I found it and love it and you could too.

Push th' Little Daisies - Ween: Ween reminds me of my They Might Be Giants phase. Everyone's had that one, right?

Burn the Liars - The Earlies: Driving beat, hints of Nintendo music, goodness.

Andrew Bird double play: Andrew Bird is definitely best served live so here I provide you with two live tracks. Measuring Cups and Nervous Tic Motion of the Head to the Left. Ohmygodhessogood.

Casimir Pulaski - Sufjan Stevens: How come this one guy gets to be so great? Spread it around.

Nothing Like This - J Dilla: enjoy.

Rock Steady

My weekend was pretty meh. It's really cold here (in fact, it snowed!), which automatically puts me in a nasty mood. So, there's that.

Mr. Shain doesn't like Mexican food:

Friday night, L-Ma, Mr. Shain and I went to a local Mexican restaurant for dinner. I thought it would be enjoyable. Instead, Shain stared at me with disdain as I shoveled chips, cheese and chimichanga into my face while refusing to eat his quesadilla. That's what you get for ordering the crappiest thing on the menu, buddy. Yeah, and you can keep your Pinkberry and Sprinkles or whatever. I'll take a pile of melted cheese over that stuff any day.

The one where I went to Borders:

I like to hang out in bookstores. There, I'll admit it. I escape to Borders a lot these days, immersing myself in magazines and books I can't afford. I suppose there are libraries for this sort of thing, but blah. Look what I found, though!

I am happy to say that I know the members of the Winterpills! They're from Noho and they're really good. And on sale at your local Borders!

There's always other boyfriends:

While at said Borders, I used a handy dandy little gift card to buy The Hold Steady album, Boys and Girls in America as per Clinton at ZFS suggestion. You're going to say that all of their songs sound the same and that the lead singer doesn't really sing, and you know what? I don't care. I love it! I totally see why the blogs have all been up on this shit. It's a good time. I took a nice drive out in the country, windows down, Craig Finn's voice blaring, happiness.

Listen: Stuck Between Stations

Farmers Market:

Is open! While there, I received the following disturbing picture message from the exbf.

It seems that Zealand (former dog that was lost in the settlement if you're keeping track) jumped into the river (Connecticut) and onto a stick, which stabbed him. A) I imagine it's too cold for even dogs to be swimming in the river and B) poor baby! I should have just taken him. I know I said I wouldn't talk about it anymore, but it makes my heart hurt.

My Friend Morgan:

was in a short film. She was up from Houston yesterday and had a little showing at a get together last night. Very nice. Plus, she's got big ones. Speaking of which, in the absence of girl friends, which I can't seem to make here, I made my friend Matt my stand in last night. I drug him into the bathroom with me, made him listen to me bitch about boys and look at my bra. Then I coerced him into having a platonic sleepover with me, but not before declaring that I had to take my pants off because I can't sleep with them on. What? Needless to say, my head hurts.

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Beyonce Lyrics Check:

In one of B's latest songs, Upgrade U, she manages to combine this:

I can do for you what Martin did for the people
Ran by the men but the women keep the tempo
It's very seldom that you're blessed to find your equal
Still play my part and let you take the lead role

with this:

Partner let me upgrade you
Audemars Piguet you
Switch your neck tie to purple labels

because that makes sense.

Mr. Shain and I are famous!

Ok, not entirely, but we were both mentioned here for some reason. Rock on.

Whoopee!

T - some hours until the big moment! Here I come Tony!

It's Friday, I'm in Love

with Tony, Carm, Meadow, AJ, Paulie, Christopher and especially Silvio. They're like family, except I would be terrified if they were actually my family, but I probably would've gone to Columbia, so there's that. Yup, folks, it's that time again. Sopranos starts up Sunday night at 9/8 central. I'm not going to do a recap or go into my predictions (because, frankly, David Chase is a much smarter man than I), but I will say this. If you aren't an avid fan already, it's certainly worth the space on your Netflix queue. You know it is too. I don't really have to tell you since the rest of the free world has been watching since 1999. So, just do it.

Everybody's talking:

Sopranos Read for its Final Whacks

Sopranos has plenty of storylines to address

Sopranos Cast in Sad Farewell to Show

Gotta Minute? So, There's This Guy Tony...

Watch:

Eat:

ingredients

8 ounces ziti or other tubular pasta

2 tablespoons olive oil
2 turkey Italian sausages (about 6 ounces), casings removed
2 cups chopped onions
1 1/2 red bell peppers, thinly sliced
1/2 cup dry red wine
1 141/2-ounce can diced tomatoes in juice with Italian seasonings

Freshly grated Parmesan cheese

preparation

Cook pasta in large pot of boiling salted water until just tender but still firm to bite, stirring occasionally. Drain. Return to pot.

Meanwhile, heat oil in heavy medium skillet over medium-high heat. Add sausage; sauté until brown, breaking up with fork, about 4 minutes. Add onions and peppers; sauté 5 minutes. Stir in wine; boil 2 minutes, scraping up browned bits. Add tomatoes with juices. Reduce heat to medium and cover; simmer until slightly thickened, about 4 minutes.

Add sauce to pasta. Toss over medium heat until heated through. Season with salt and pepper. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese and serve.

Bon Appétit, February 2001

Listen:

Woke Up This Morning

It Was a Very Good Year (Ok, I can't find a link, but this is a truly great song. Make sure you download the Sinatra version. It'll give you goosebumps.)

Frank Sinatra

Love.

Mopey McMoperson

Hey there. It's Thursday. Rainy days and Thursdays always get me down. Not really, but this one is for some reason. I am descending into an adolescent night of angst, but this time with booze and a high speed internet connection. Things aren't bad, in fact, they're just fine. I had a good day, the NY job search has made some headway and I've got soft hair. So, all in all, not so bad. So, why then, am I compelled to listen to Bright Eyes at unreasonable volumes and am stymied by Mr. Oberst's schizo advice?

Listen:
Lover I Don't Have to Love
First Day of My Life

Damn you Bright Eyes! I wish we'd never met. In the meantime, both The Office and 30 Rock are new tonight. Ever since ending my LTR with TiVo, I've been bad at keeping up with my old friends on NBC. Tonight I will remedy that and I suggest you do the same.

If and when you happen to be feeling a bit down, listen to this (and think of me):
Backpack

Goulet Wednesday News Round Up

Wow. It's Wednesday again. Time flies when you black out a lot. Enjoy!

• I'm a Beatles girl all the way, but I'll admit, I was pretty impressed when I read this: [breitbart], but then I was disappointed when I read this: [Defamer], much like a Stone's song (that isn't Angie, Wild Horses, Moonlight Mile or Paint it Black - I'll give you those).
• Color me sold! [Yahoo]
• Further proof that all news, regardless of network, should be delivered by Colbert or Stewart. Buh-bye O'Briens. Who am I kidding? I don't watch the news. [Washingon Post]
• While you were denying paternity of Scary Spice's baby spice (not to be confused with Baby Spice), we still don't know D-Lynn's babydaddy. Come on people! [People]
• Reason 1,562.74 I'm glad I don't have a boyfriend. I don't have to see this: [via BWE: Filmwad ]
• The triumphant return of the scrunchie! Just kidding. If you wear one, we are no longer friends. Not that we ever were. [Socialite Life]

MTV/VH1 lame-o TV wrap up:

• New York chose her man. Lucky for you, you can watch the moment 256,489 times on VH1. [Socialite Life]
• Heidi moved in with Spencer (winner of creepiest looking, skankiest d-bag alive - he wears a gold chain, Heidi, I mean, come on!). Because she is an idiot (but she is very pretty, so there's that). I love you and your wide headbands Lauren! [US]

Spencer Pratt
CEO, Douchebags Unlimited

• This week in no duh news [WWTDD]
• 30 Rock renewed! My lady crush on Tina Fey rages on. [BWE]
• Behind the Music: Sanjaya.
• John Mayer is the new Ryan Reynolds.

And now I must return to the important work of downloading, then singing Not An Addict by K's Choice. Cheers.

Opening Day! (or, I see dead ... animals)

J/K. I don't follow baseball. Not that I wouldn't want to, but growing up in a pro-sportless state has left me lacking in that department (although, I can get behind the Sooners with no problem). While in the northeast, I went to a few Mets and Yankees games here and there and enjoyed myself quite a lot, but a smattering of games does not a fan make. I don't even know what team I'd go for. I suppose I could entertain the Yankees, Mets, Red Sox, Rangers, Royals or Cardinals due to geographical relevance to my life.

Speaking of cardinals, there are a lot of things I don't understand - fat free sour cream, Rockport shoes, why people watch Deal Or No Deal, John Mayer and J. Simp, or just John Mayer in general. Most of all, though, I don't understand taxidermy. I was hanging out in a 7th grade science class the other day teaching the kiddies about minerals and shit when I started to look around the room and damn! There were freaking dead animals everywhere! I am not ok with that. Sure, I'll eat them, but that's where I want my relationship with dead animals to end.

[an aside - once, long ago, before I was allowed to have a dog and by allow I mean I brought it home and told the parents I found the pup on the side of the road, then promptly ran away to NYC and left them the dog to raise, which they now love more than me, but that's another therapy session. Right, so I had a pet mouse named Taffy, after my great grandparents cocker spaniel. I made a leash for Taffy out of yarn. I would walk her along my sidewalk desperately hoping she would suddenly turn into a dog. She never did. Also, L-Ma and I use to tie yarn across the posts of my bed and make Taffy tightrope walk. L-Ma should not be allowed to have pets, although, she wants a cat and will name it Paula Deen, which I think is pretty much the best cat name ever. Oh right, so I had this phase were I videotaped everything (i.e. talk shoes, music videos, rollerskating performances, etc) and needed to shoot footage of my mouse for some reason, so I go to her cage, zoom in and realize, much to my horror, that she was, in fact, dead. Oh the tragedy. I dropped the camera (all 50 pounds of it - it was the kind that had a VHS tape in it!) and fell to the floor wailing. Awesome.]

Needless to say, these lifeless creatures adorning the classroom walls with glassy eyed death freaked me the fuck out. Furthermore, who grows up thinking they want to be a taxidermist? And, does it pay well? I'm not really set in a career yet.

Ok, see what I mean? Creep factor 5000.

In a related story, there was a chinchilla. A live one. It was the softest thing ever! I want one. I would name it Bobby Flay.

Zack Harrison Memorial Music Monday

Since I was little, picking favorite things has been very important to me. Favorite color (green), favorite Care Bear (remember that Carol King sang the song for the movie? Weird), favorite Sno-Cone flavor (wedding cake), etc. I would like to know people's favorite songs. Then I would make the ultimate playlist - of other people's favorite songs. For those of you keeping score, my go-to favorites are "I Will" by the Beatles and "Sweet thing" by Van Morrison. Creative, I know.

Menomena - Wet and Rusting: This is yet another band that people have been creaming their pants about recently. So I gave it a try. And I liked it. Both creaming my pants and the song.

The Denial Twist - White Stripes: Every now and then, I need some Jack White in my life. This song is as good as any.

Dead Meat - Sean Lennon: I like telling people they're dead meat. This song has a lovely melancholy to it. I would play it during a tornado warning.

The Kooks - She Moves in Her Own Way: I am starting to become overly obsessed with both The Kooks and The Format (which I'm seeing tomorrow!!). They're so damn cute and scruffy and Scottish and I'm a sucker for an accent, just like any lady.

Daft Punk is Playing at My House - LCD Soundsystem: Everyone's also blowing their load over the new LCD Soundsystem album. Well, I like this old one.

My Old Ways - Dr. Dog: I can't even remember how I came across this, but the video reminds me of that weird, old school cartoon Ringo Star voiced. Remember that? The Point, I think. Oh, weird. All the music is Harry Nilsson, who I was thinking of comparing this song to. Indeed.

End of the Movie - Cake: I love cake. Not the food. Trumpet + vibraslap + monotone = heaven for me. I can't find an mp3/video for this song, but trust me. It's a little gem.

Piazza, New York Catcher - Belle and Sebastian: Mr. Shain played this for me. It reminds me of a Simon and Garfunkel song. Most of the time, listening to B & S is an exercise in near suicidal thoughts, but I don't mind this one.

Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels) - Arcade Fire: I'm not so down with the new stuff, but this one is a clear winner.

Star Witness - Neko Case: Fox Confessor Brings the Flood is pretty much the best album title ever. Also, I can't imagine this song being played over the credits of The Hills or in The Gap, therefore I like it.

Everything is Everything - Phoenix: All part of my plan to convert others into Phoenix lovers.

And finally, I implore you, listen to this. It's a little ironic, I think.

Fin.

Pure Drivel

Lay Lady Lay:

Friday night I did something I haven't done in maybe a year. I stayed in. And, you know what? It wasn't that bad. In fact, I kind of liked it. I caught up on magazines, Vh1, and painted my nails. I woke up not hungover Saturday, too! I just might try this again sometime.

I am a giant idiot (in so many ways):

Saturday, Shain abducted me from my house and made me eat pastry. Afterward, he tried to take a nap in his car. Later, he tried to crush himself between his seat and the steering wheel. Must be an LA thing.


Then I made him go to the Apple Store in OKC so I could check out the iPod Shuffle. I am an educated lady (I use the term "educated" loosely, of course), but sometimes, I wonder about myself. As do those around me or those who have ever known me, I imagine. I pick up the display shuffle telling Shain I'd probably want one in green. Then I reach for the green one, which is housed in a lucite case. I do not realize this and bonk my hand into the display like a giant idiot. The (rather attractive) sales guy immediately quips, I've never seen that before. Yeah, thanks. Shain is dying laughing, my face is so red it hurts. I hate everything. So, we wander about some more, I touch things I probably shouldn't, am horrified by photobooth and the prices of Apple products. I pick up the good ol' regular iPod (which I decide I will save up for, since I have, like 10 million songs I always need to be listening to) and manage to knock over the spec thingy sitting on the table. My sales friend zooms over with, I heard a commotion, thought it was you. ARGH! I am hopeless. I left shamed and empty handed. But what's new?

Then we meandered about the mall, me dragging Shain into my favorite haunts (i.e. all that is available in the metro). I showed him the purse I wanted at J. Crew, he said no. I picked out a dress at Banana Republic, he said I couldn't wear it. Shain has also determined that I need help in the boy department and decided that hitting on employees at Abercrombie was the perfect place to start. After he drug me into Hollister and laughed at me, I decided to call it a night. Needless to say, that is the last time we will venture into stores together.

We headed back to Norman and met some of Shain's high school friends/debater nerds for a drink. I totally still have a nerd crush on one of the kids (ok, not really, but sort of, yes). I remember him from when he was in Math Counts in middle school. I thought that was so hot. Anyhoo, I am a terrible social conversationalist when it comes to hanging out with people I've just met or met very recently. In fact, I turn pretty much retarded for lack of a better word. I managed to stupidly insult a few people and not in a clever way - in a just plain dumb way. I need to take classes or something. This kid was talking to me about the upcoming Neko Case show and I tried describing her music by saying something riveting and profound like, it's kinda folksy, but not, but sort of. However, when he was leaving, he did shake my hand, say, nice to meet you, hopefully I'll see you at the Neko Case show (Beau, are we still on, if we were?). Uh huh. He probably says that to all the girls. The night ended with us crowded around a laptop, because, we are nerds. We decided this is funny:



Ye Olde Freakfest:

If it's late March/early April, this must be the Medieval Fair (points if you know this movie reference - I have a thing for Suzanne Pleshette). And it is. It is a Norman institution and until I moved to MA, I went every year. It's your typical Renaissance Fair fare, with which I'm sure we're all familiar. My goal in life is to eat funnel cakes at any venue possible. Today, I failed miserably. I am a champion eater, but even I couldn't conquer the funnel cake after lunch today. I am deeply disappointed in myself. But mostly for other reasons. Behold the Medieval Fair:

Bagpipers!

The elusive funnel cake.
Too many funnel cakes.

Beautiful Oklahoma blue sky.Look closely. Ye Olde Sock Monkery.

Ye Olde Pimpe.
Ye Olde Sluts.

An enigma wrapped in a mystery wrapped in an enigma:


Speaking of bad fashion decisions:

I lost my friend Maggie in the breakup. It's just one of those things. Her BF is friends with the exBF and we just couldn't hold it together. But I miss her. And her fashion sense. She was pretty much the most fashionable thing around in Noho (if you're not into skirts + pants, tie dye, hemp, filth, etc). Basically, I have no idea what to wear now that it's springtime, not that I did in winter. However, I do know not to wear a tiny backpack, Mom.