Sunday, May 06, 2007

Complaint Corner

Apparently, there is nowhere to get a bagel in this freaking town/part of the country. Do you people just not eat them? And why not? To me, they seem to be the quintessential southern/midwest food: dense carbohydrates covered in a Paula Deen approved substance involving the words "cream" and "cheese." Where's the Woodstar here? Bagel Basement? Finagle a Bagel? Any street vendor? Hell, I'd even settle for Bruegger's or Dunkin Donuts at this point. I tried to go to Panera, and of course, the one place that has them is crawling with young couples who have clearly just stumbled sexily (because they just did it - jerks) out of bed into their SUVs and headed to what seems to be the local sorostitute/frat hangout on 11am on a weekend morning. P.S. Dior sunglasses + Coach bag + Hollister shorts that could double as underwear = stupid. Also, when I got up to the counter, the choices left were french toast, whole grain and trail mix. What? I'm all about being crunchy, when it's convenient, but a trail mix bagel? Furthermore, God forbid should I want a bagel with smoked salmon, onions and capers. There's no such thing here. I got some tea instead.

The image “http://www.usc.edu/bus-affairs/uclub/images/breakfast/nydeli.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

I love you.

http://pun.org/josh/archives/tea_bag_02.jpg

Very distant second.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

umm panera bread, they have many bagels and cream cheeses

blythe said...

yes, but they are shit bagels, such as french toast and trail mix. plus, there's no salmon. or capers. also, it is full of people i don't like.

Mr. Shain said...

anonymous seems to have failed to understand anything you wrote besides "no bagels". tragic. it's all about Noah's. only one more week! i'll send you some lox, capers, and garlic schmear.

blythe said...

you won't. you'll forget. i know you.

Annie said...

Oh dear god, these people sound horrible, but I can picture them perfectly and you didn't even need a visual. I'm a huge fan of the lox/salmon/caper weekend treat -- tomato slices are a must and I like to squirt lemon juice all over the whole thing if I have a slice available, which I never do. Sometimes it's hard, based on color only, to tell the salmon apart from the tomato. That's about all the challenge I need on a Sunday.

Hi, by the way. Thanks for linking to me.

blythe said...

lemon is a lovely idea. i'll have to make my own this weekend. i'm guessing the raw materials alone will cost me over $15. awesome. but it will be delicious. tomato included.

no problem! i love your blog!

Carmen said...

Hey! i really like bagels, too. San Francisco doesn't have really good bagels, either. and we're supposedly a "foodie" town. talk to you later!--carmen