Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Blog of Love: Round 6 (fine, I admit that I have no idea what round we're on - happy?)

Bad news. Our little Megster is in LA hanging out with Lauren and Whitney (no Heidi or Spencer), so she's leaving this round in my very (in)capable hands. Don't fret, we had several gmailchat convos and have reached our conclusions, you just have to suffer through my telling of the news:

In the Meg Column we have:

Winner:
Dan of [redacted] fame. Yes, he came late to the game and hasn't been back since, but if you look closely, he's blessed our little operation with a comment (#107). Good enough for the win. This time.

Earning a date:
Actually, I forgot to ask her about this little category, so refer to my picks.

And you're done:
Sorry TK. Too bad Wisconsin beat Iowa.

Way to quit blogging Mike. Middeadsternerinnyc.

And finally, Amish. WTF man. Somehow you got a bye through last round, then you didn't even step anywhere near the plate.

Bee-Spot Bye Bye:

Let me first say, this is really, really hard. Like harder than the SATs and finding a one bedroom apartment that allows dogs combined. Harder than reading The Daily Oklahoman or getting that stupid Feist iPod song out of your head. I've become really attached to you kids. Well, not so much you as the insincere attention that has been lavished upon me. I had a difficult childhood. Also, I suffered the consequences of my decision last week and am a little afraid of what is to come.

Secondly, let me say that I apologize for the delay. I've had a lot going on lately. Like today, I had to take a nap after work, wake up, order mu shu pork with one eggroll, eat it, roll on my floor with my dog, try Sierra Nevada's Anniversary Ale (save your $$ - sucks!), then watch Bush talk about the state of American education by saying something fucktarded like "our childrens are learning." Then I had to repeat the whole mu shu pork/beer/rolling around with dog combo to take my mind off things. But, here I am. Aren't you lucky? No? Fair enough.


We have a winner:
Jeff Weiss is a consummate blogger, insightful layman's musicologist, mindreader. Seriously boys. This guy stepped it up a notch. Wait for it ... we are now Facebook friends - how he knew this was the key to my blog heart, I know not. I think Crimenotes (who did give us a little shout out this week - props) and Jeff might have to fight this one out. Since one of you is in LA and the other in NYC, might I suggest you do the fighting in say, Norman, Oklahoma? Just a thought.

Not far behind:
d - I think he offered up sexual favors. Also, he's good at music picking. And nose picking. Two of my favorite things.

Garrett - for the effective use of blackmail. Well done, well done.

A special category:
Jebus almost got the boot for pretty much making a girl cry on a date. As expected though, Jebus redeemed himself with a few well chosen photos (but hey, let's get serious, are those tapered leg jeans? Also, you know I'm a sucker for anything that comes in a bowl, you...).

I've got some bad news:

It might be petty, but really, do you expect more of me? Sorry The Lost Ogle boys. You're out. But only because you're so much better than me and I'm so fragile. Hope you enjoy your bloggie.

I don't know you, Todd, but Meg mentioned offing you because of your marriage, and on second thought, that's good enough for me too. This blog is not a place of happiness.

Which leads me to you, Clinton. You and Girlfriend are my heroes. Drinkers, lovers, eater of burritos - all around happy in your couplehood. And as such, you must go.

Honorable mention, since Meg didn't have near winners: Shain and Alex, way to fill my real life with, with something? Mostly insults, tranfats (Shain) and cigarettes (Alex).

There you have it.

36 comments:

d said...

b. b. b. by telling the losers that they lose because they're happy, you make the rest of us who are still in this thing feel like the losers. 'cause that means our lives suck. just let the losers feel like losers. smack 'em down like the losers they are.

really, all i'm saying is, what, exactly is the point of wanting to win this thing? i mean, i'm terribly excited that i made it to round 3 and all, but still. what's in it for me?

New Texan said...

woo hoo! i'm like the really old guy in the first Survivor!

Mr. Shain said...

fuck you all and fuck this contest and fuck you dan from [redacted] and fuck... wait, what? i wasn't voted off? i'm still on? ooooh. uhm, this is awkward.

crimenotes said...

Weiss and I wouldn't fight. We'd just talk about Neil Young albums, Kerouac and The Hold Steady. You wouldn't know what hit you.

Dan said...

d makes a good point. My sucky life is finally paying off. woo. hoo.

dmbmeg said...

I sure fucking phoned this one in, didn't I?

Long week.

I'll be back on my game again starting Monday.

Clinton said...

I respectfully accept my dismissal with good humor, grace, and, because we totally bonded over this amazing experience, I'm secure in the knowledge that we'll remain friends for life.

I am, however, going to key your car on the way out.

blythe said...

d - what do you care anyway? you're always talking about how you want out, which is, of course, why you're still in. and again, if i knew what the prize was, i'd tell you. right now it's just knowing that i think you're awesome.

new texan - for now.

crimenotes - true that. but, can you still do that in norman, ok?


shain - um. know what else is awkward? you ever find a file box?

dan - again, this week. i should tell you that i have that photo of us on my desk. is that weird?

dmbmeg - nah, it's my fault for lackluster writing. my fault and sierra nevada anniversary ale.

clinton - thanks for your understanding. also, my car is the one with the "dmbmeg" license plate...

TK said...

I'm devastated. Crushed. Lost the will to live. Can't possibly go on.

Oh, wait.

On the bright side, now I can go back to being an asshole without reservation.

I'll see you all in Hell.

amish said...

I'm not even sure on what criteria I was being judged. I'm not even sure if I care.

blythe said...

TK - say hi to Amish when you're there. ha! i joke. sorry boys. take it up with dmbmeg.

d said...

b - secretly i do care. it's all of the affirmation i didn't get in high school. or college. or ever, really.

i revel in the fact that you think i'm awesome. for there is nothing better in the world than your admiration.

(is this attitude better? is this what you want from me?)

The Artist Formally Known as Midwesterner in NYC said...

I know it is to late for this fine contest, but it appears we were picked up for another season after all. I missed you guys too much it appears.

Dan said...

No, that's not weird. What's weird is the mural I have of that photo on the ceiling of my bedroom. That's what's a little weird.

JHC said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JHC said...

The longer this thing goes on, the less I understand it.
Are we all in the same competition?
Why am I in a "Special Category"?
How have I not already won, based on the fact that I've sent you photos, secrets, compliments, and promises of future comments?

I don't get it and I've actually been trying to win. I don't work this hard for sex. You girls are great and everything, but I think I'm gonna ghostride this whip from here on out.

blythe said...

d - much better. much appreciated.

middeadsterner! - you're back?! but how? why? will you please revive commenter rankings? it's the only thing i live for. most of the time.

dan - no, that's not weird, that's hot.

jebus - oh come off it. i was a bit well, you know, when writing last night. i wanted to mention you, but not give you a full endorsement so as to not let you be all big headed so that you don't peak too soon. also, all of your pictures are a lovely slide show screen saver for me and my officemates. keep 'em coming.

p.s. this is not a blog for happiness, but this is a blog for poor grammar and mispellings, so have at it.

The Artist Formally Known as Midwesterner in NYC said...

Well the season premiere is next Tuesday and I have a feeling commenter rankings may be back soon as well.

Chris said...

If only I had an excuse to travel to Oklahoma. Then I could bribe both of the judges.

And WTF, Meg? I tried so hard! I wanted to buy you a drink Friday night, but you were too wasted for me to think to give you one.

Oh, wait, no, that was me who was too wasted.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

I'm commenting to let you know I read the results, but I'm also NOT commenting to let you know I don't really give a crap. I'm meta like that.

Dan said...

No, hot is how you look after I photoshopped our clothes off. Keep up the good work.

CrimeNotes said...

Also, you know I'm a sucker for anything that comes in a bowl, you...

Based on the above, I thought the special category for Jebus was reserved for contestants who come in a bowl. T/F?

Tony said...

It's a sad day in the Ogle household.

The Cajun Boy said...

i got no mention at all. is that good or bad? am i even still in the race? please advise.

Chris said...

Oh, and a mega-WTF to defend my fellow bloggers against [redacted] Dan. All he has to do is comment? Oh, let us all bow down before him!

JHC said...

:CrimeNotes: Based on the above, it seems like you want me to send you a copy of all of the photos I sent to the girls. T/F?

Mr. Shain said...

if by insults, you mean tim gunn style fashion affirmations, then yes, i do fill your life by something. and if by transfats, you mean delicious transfats, then yes, that too.

crimenotes said...

Depends on the photos, I suppose. Are they vivid and dramatic, framed and lit in ways that would rip me away from workplace pain and exhaustion, transporting me to a world of whimsy, subtlety and possibility? If so, yes. If they're photos of pegged jeans and bowls, I'll be polite but disengaged.

Blythe: What kind of photos would you like from me?

JHC said...

They aren't photos of Blythe, so no.

My jeans were not pegged, for the record and the bowl was filled with... nevermind.

Dan said...

Clearly, I'm going to have to start coming at this thing from a different angle...

blythe said...

tafkaminyc - hmm. there might be a dodgeball like clause instituted. who knows? with this little stunt, you could find yourself back in the game. especially since the rules are very vague even to the rulemakers.

chris - yes! yes! come to the OKC! if anyone actually makes a pilgrimage to the heartland, sure win.

cherry - is this a new tactic? talk crap since girls like assholes? it might work.

dan - nice.

crimenotes - true and false.

tony - oh come. you have a real blog to run. although, i'd put you back in the game if you were to consider an okc/metro bloggers happy hour. it's a sad little dream of mine.

cajun - you're still in. keep up the good work/cock comments.

chris - i know, right? but alas.

jhc - true. definitely true.

shain - oh shain. yes. i guess i mean all of those things. see you tonight so you can make fun of me then feed me ice cream?

crimenotes - i would like the good kind, please.

jhc - smooth. real smooth. and the jeans weren't pegged, per se.

dan - yeah. you might have peaked too soon. i hope this is not the case.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Blythe:: Well, I noticed it has kept you away from commenting on my blog, so I guess my tactic didn't work.

Dan said...

Are we re-enacting It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia now? Because I'm fully prepared to strap on a set of mega-knockers. Anyways, if photoshopping myself into your lady garden is post-peak, then I'm afraid I might be past my prime in this game.

Patrick said...

You just voted off the guys who posted this week's most popular YouTube video. Bad call. :)

Passion of the Weiss said...

Now I finally know what it feels like to be Brett Michaels. And here I thought the only "Poison" that I would empathize with the Bell Biv Devoe's New Jack Swing track. I am of course honored by the kind words, though I do agree with CN, we're much too similar to fight it out. Besides, I only do battle with crappy bands.

Are we doing the whole photo thing? Because I have recent photos of me wild-eyed drunk and shirtless at a NASCAR rally that could be the coup de grace. Of course, I'm not really sure how said photos exist, but they do. Sadly, they do.

dmbmeg said...

SEND THEM.