Monday, September 17, 2007

Blog of Love: Round 1.

You all have been very patient. I appreciate that. I have a real job that sometimes (rarely or maybe just today) requires my full attention, also, I needed to eat a lot of Mexican food tonight (sexy, yes?). So, without further delay, I'll let Meg start (oh, p.s. we decided (actually, Meg did because she's the one that really watches the show) that each week there will be one "winner" a few close behinds and then three losers - except this week since Lozo/Lamo requested to be removed and I forgot to add a 16th person because I have trouble with numbers):

DMBMeg's pick for Day One of Blog of Love:

Winner: Jebus H Christ. [Golf clap]
I know, this may come as no shock to some of you (cough, cough, CrimeNotes), but Jebus was the ONLY one to email Blythe and I privately--and he included pictures of big doggies eating ice cream. Every self respecting ladies man knows the quickest way to a woman's heart is with animals. That being said, he also wrote a ridiculously hilarious post for the first time in 5 weeks (dude, the guy came to mother-fucking play). However moot the post is now after our Hawkeyes heartbreaking (no words) loss to Iowa State this weekend, it still made me laugh more than anything written anywhere else--and that my friends, is the key to dmbmeg's pants. (HINT)
Runner's Up for Group Date:
TK- TK kind of stole the show in the comments section of my post last week. If you follow the thread, it appears he attempted to go to a bar to meet up with Dan. It's always good to be reassured when I'm Quietly Judging you and Blog of Love bring the world together for peace, love, harmony, and two-hole sex in the bathroom.

East Village Idiot
: He has the biggest technorati rating of them all, and he isn't afraid to use it. My traffic increased by approximately 20% on Thursday. He also tried to comfort me last night from my sports depression by telling me I could always join the Red Sox Nation with him. Um, thanks, but no thanks. For reals though, good luck against those Yankees. You guys are going to need it (except for Beckett. That guy is nasssty.)
Business or Leisure: Only cause I got his link wrong, and I feel kind of bad.
Notable Mention: Alex. He warmly accepted my request to take a ride on the Sooner Train. It's a bad year to be in the Big 10 (unless you go to Penn State)
Don't let the door hit you on the way out:
Flop: Your a jackass for correkting my grammer/speling. I rote that poste in 10 minuts. Give me a brake.
Mortarbored: Yeah, no matter how good the ratings are, I still have my pride. Plus, I also received emails threatening, "If he lasts longer than me I will cut your tits off." 'Nuff said.
So, there it is fellas. Show me what you got. Winners get a 2nd round bye for turning up the awesome this week.

Bee-Spot picks (her nose):

UPDATE: The VTK Kid is well on his way to winning this whole thing. I'm teling you. Bar is SET!
Winner: This week's gonna have to go to the VTK kid, Dan. Not only because he spent the weekend documenting his trip to my former home, Northampton, MA so I could live vicariously through him (that's what you were doing, right?), but he put up a pretty good front for the Bee-Spot side of things in Meg's comments section culminating in the offer/threat of a drinking throwdown. I might be in love. This week.



Runners Up:
1. Jebus for the pics, obvs. Puppies!


2. EVI - Dude! I have seriously been envying linkage for nearly a year now. My hits have gone through the roof! I'm up like 200%, which brings the total to 8. Pretty effing sweet. So, to answer the age old question, Technorati size does matter.

3. POW - Never ever did I think that this venerable blogger with maybe the best musical taste this side of Pitchfork (I kid! I mean about Pitchfork) would stop by our respective heaps. I'm still in shock. Also, I just noticed that he's got a picture of Teen Wolf up. Swoon.



Honorable mention: CrimeNotes for accurate predictions and self-fulfilling prophecies.
UPDATE: This just in. I mean this picture. Well done, Crimenotes. Well done.


We regret to inform you:

1. Copyranter - Yes, this was a long shot, but the others have come through, so the tiny remaining kernel of hope in my hollowed out soul thought just maybe, maybe... but no. See ya sucker! Ok, I'm still 10,000% behind you on capri pants. We'll always have capri pants.

2. Michael5k - Don't get me wrong. You're a great guy, plus you're supporting my Sooners and let me win things (two of my favorites). However, after a long talk with Mrs. 5k, it was decided to give you the boot.

On the bubble:
Cherry, that was a close one! You were totally on the short bus, I mean list. If you go MIA again, you've let Shain win. And no one wants that. Especially me. Plus, you have bitch tits. And I'm a bitch with tits. Too much in common to let you go so soon.

Pretty good showing boys, pretty good showing, but do you have what it takes to stick it out and win, what did we decide? Threesome? Nothing? The leftover amounts on the gift cards I got at Christmas? Well, in any case, bring it.

78 comments:

Yes, I'll have another said...

I'll say this about Jebus: He wrote perhaps the funniest thing I've ever read in his last post...

"When I'm good and soused, I will stroll over and proceed to flirt with her like Peter O'Toole on a dare."

Hilarious.

Michael5000 said...

Damn. I KNEW I was an extra.

Dan said...

I haven't felt this validated in a long time.

a really, really long time.

crimenotes said...

I don't understand. Does this mean I get to be eliminated?

blythe said...

yiha - i'm sorry, what? i was getting lost in the thought of peter o'toole's eyes.

michael5k - no! but yes. i mean, thanks for playing? it was hard. really hard.

dan - i do what i can.

crimenotes - i might or might not have put that in the wrong place because i might or might not have had several margaritas with my dinner that i might or might not have finished even though i told myself i'd take half home for lunch tomorrow.

blythe said...

-- fixing it --

Mr. Shain said...

can there be contestant challenges for next week's episode? like crimenotes and i have to do a rubik's cube race, or [cherry] and i swim the 400IM (naked)?

crimenotes said...

The winner of this probably gets a bucket of blood dumped on him.

Why am I Teen Wolf? Not that I mind, but everything about this confuses me.

dmbmeg said...

crimenotes-
go watch rock of love and it will all make sense.

dmbmeg said...

why is this so hard to understand?

1 person wins (per "episode").

others are runners up (ie a "group gate)

and then some people get eliminated based on overall suckage. NOT THAT HARD.

crimenotes said...

That just means a bunch of blogs are now going to "group date" each other. Please explain.

Just cut to the chase, Travolta, and dump the bucket of pig's blood on Jebus.

Michael5000 said...

I wish everyone could see how gracious and shit I'm acting right now....

Clinton said...

Ah, the middle of the pack. Excellent. It's from here that I can make my move under the cover of apathy. I may seem all passive and whatnot, but all of a sudden it's going to be, "Why hello, ladies. You're both looking lovely this evening. Can I buy you a sexy, sexy drink?"

Soon... soon...

New Texan said...

Sweet... this is just like the NCAA tourney... survive and advance.

dmbmeg said...

crimenotes-
you're the only beauty queen here.

dmbmeg said...

also, smooth Clinton. Real smooth.

Chris said...

I have to say, in defense of the other bloggers here, it's not the size of your Technorati ranking - it's what you do with it.

dmbmeg said...

how obscene.

Business or Leisure? said...

Who was there for you when your mother was blathering incessantly during the football coverage? I really thought our g-chat was the reinvention of Heloise and Abelard, but now I am starting to think it was a mere Jack and Diane. Pity.

Chris said...

Megan, it may be obscene, but hey, you might fall into the category of being a total Technorati ranking size queen.

blythe said...

shain - sure. i like both of those ideas. but we both know you can't do a rubiks cube. unless you've done sufficient meth, of course.

crimenotes - i used to think you were smart. scratch that i used to think about thinking about whether or not you might be smart. thanks for saving me the time. wait, what? group dates? travolta? blood? what were you on, buddy? can i have some?

dmbmeg - thanks for the clarification.

m5k - i know you are, i know you are. it's not the way i wanted it. but it's how it had to be. serenity now.

clinton - sure you can. if by sexy you mean silver can with blue ribbon...

new texan - good luck.

dmbmeg - agreed and agreed.

chris - you are a true gentleman.

dmbmeg - i know, right?

bol - score 2 points for invoking heloise and abelard.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

I cannot even believe I was "on the fence" with you!!!!!!!

I have nothing else to say.

(tears)

The [Cherry] Ride said...

PS - Shain:: Don't sign up for a contest you cannot win. I held my college and state masters record for the 400IM. Plus, nobody wants to see me naked, and I'm pretty sure that goes double for you.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Ok, that was all. NOW I have nothing else to say.

(more tears)

Mr. Shain said...

well then, a grammar rodeo perhaps?

Mr. Shain said...

(i know you have the chaps for it.)

Peter DeWolf said...

Do the dudes that didn't get picked for any of the dates stay at the mansion and talk smack about the others?

CrimeNotes said...

Blythe: Read Meg's confusing comments about "group dates" etc., read what I wrote next, and then rent Carrie.

dmbmeg said...

i'm going to keep you around purely out of spite.

peter-
talk shit about anyone you like. Some people deserve it more than others, obviously.

d said...

all of the sudden, i'm very, very scared. i'm not sure how i feel about making it to the next round...

maybe just overlooked?

Dan said...

Fortunately, the OU game is on Friday night and the Iowa game is on Saturday night so I'll be able to catch both.

Tulsa, suck it! Wisconsin, suck Tulsa sucking it!

Chris said...

Shain: You mean the National Grammar Rodeo?! In Canada?!

JHC said...

:yes, I'll have another: Thanks, but all praise goes to O'Toole.

:blythe: I've still got a craving for apples because of you.

:CrimeNotes: Keep your bucket to yourself you filthy ape.

:dmbmeg: If I have to watch that fucking show I'm out.

So long as I didn't lose to Lozo's armpit (and his boring blog) I'm OK with whatever happens from here on out.

dmbmeg said...

It's no Meercat Manor, but Rock of Love is actually quite good. Almost as good as Flavor of Love.

(without the Roll of Boots...ha!)

Mr. Shain said...

@chris

is there any other?!?

blythe said...

cherry - um, hello? you were totally MIA! we're even facebook friends. how could you? also, shain was a gymnast. just thought i'd let you know what you're getting into in terms of competitions.

shain - since from your typing it rarely looks like english is your first language, a grammar rodeo might not be the best idea. unless that's a joke that i don't get. which is totally possible.

peter - but of course. i wouldn't expect any less. just make sure to put it in comments. you know.

CN - what are you even talking about? ok, yes this is confusing. but fret not. it's confusing to me too.

dmbmeg - i'll keep you around out of spite too.

d - what's up? you want out or what?

dan - Tulsa, suck it! Wisconsin, suck Tulsa sucking it! - mindblowing logic.

chris - you know what he's talking about?

jhc - well, it's not over yet...

dmbmeg - i'm an old lady and only watch the first 48 these days. am i still in this?

shain - love that picture.

The Cajun Boy said...

yeah!!! i made it past round one. to celebrate, i'm going to blow myself right now!

d said...

oh no blythe, i'm in it to win it. whatever that means. i mean takes! i meant takes. swear.

Patrick said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
G said...

Hmm. Not sure what to think of this, B. It seems sort of like self-promotion, which is sort of like icky and sort of like self-whorage. But I guess I can be okay with it because it's self-whorage of my favorite 'ho. I loves me my 'ho.

Now that I've come to terms with this, what is my role? Where do I, as the general blogreadingpublic [who did even pass the audition, my blog is so crap], fit into it? Do audience votes count at all, or is this contest decided solely on the whim of B and dmbmeg?

And, finally, patrick: you must really want to lose and lose hard. You posted a picture that B is guaranteed to hate AND in which she is simultaneously giving the camera the "half-assed shrug of indifference" AND the "get the camera out of my face before I CRUSH you" glare. You must not only want to lose the contest but you must also hate life, as I see no way B will let the public display of that photo go unpunished. I've seen it happen and --wow, you're f*cked.

I, however, am safe in New York and have no fear of posting this. I am also an evil, evil person with no soul.

G said...

Um, B, if you want me to, I'll take it down.

(By it, I mean my pants, of course.)

blythe said...

well, then, yes, please do.

Irish and Jew said...

JHC - i dunno i find lozo's armpits to be extremely sexy. maybe you should post yours and then i'd read your blog. talking about ones penis is certainly not boring... its just as entertaining as college football in my book!

Meg - please don't join the red sox nation ughhh if EVI didn't have such a dreamy last name it would be easier for me to not like him ;)

~Irish

The Lost said...

Well...I've never been too good at winning awards...

Business or Leisure? said...

What if I could hook either of you up with Jacoby Ellsbury*? Is that something that could propel me to the ranks of the Thunderdome?

*If you don't know who this is, it's cool. I don't actually know him.

dmbmeg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
blythe said...

irish - penises and armpits! this is a family blog!

the lost - sorry i had to regulate. it was a nice thought though. if i didn't look like a jackass and that was just sooo big. i can't afford that much therapy.

bol - the fact that you referenced thunderdome is good enough for me.

dmbmeg - um, haven't you guys heard of the OKC redhawks? they rawk!

JHC said...

Tell you what, IRISH, why don't you keep writing about weddings and I'll keep not reading your blog. Also, I'm pretty sure no one asked you what you thought.
Ever.
Bye!

CrimeNotes said...

We're getting closer to the part where Carrie sets the prom on fire. Excellent.

(Just rent it, Blythe.)

Irish and Jew said...

Blythe - Sorry, I took the liberty of putting soap in my own mouth.

JHC - Dude, trust me, I wouldn't read my blog either. I'm pretty sure the comment section is not a place where one needs to be asked for an opinion. But I've been wrong before.

~Irish

dmbmeg said...

No, there will be no Carrie reinactment today. Possibly Deliverance if people don't lay off Jebus though.

Irish-
You can't compare Jebus to Lozo. Jebus is handsome, witty, and charming. Lozo has the personality of my shoe, and it appears he shaves his armpits. There is no comparison.

Chris said...

Megan and Irish: Actually, I gave up on Red Sox Nation last night. Our season is over.

This statement may come back to haunt me, but if you were a Red Sox fan who followed last night's game on a cell phone while trying to enjoy a Jimmy Buffett concert, you would want to hang yourself, too.

dmbmeg said...

3 Words for you Chris:

NEW YORK METS.

blythe said...

blog fight!

when you're a jet you're a jet all the way from your first cigarette...

rent that one, crimenotes.

JHC said...

:Irish: Yes, you are granted the freedom of speech, or of the press (not sure which you fall under) under the First Amendment. At least you didn't miss that week in school! However, the part you and countless others forget is, along with your right to free speech comes the burden of suffering the consequences of that speech. When you're (frequently) sloppy drunk at a wedding or child's birthday party, someone can just tell you to shut up and you'll drink another box of wine, so there's no real harm there, other than to the ears of the party's guests. However, when your speech is on the Internet, your frequent abuse of the First Amendment makes everyone who has to read through your comments suffer, badly. So, if you could just limit your Internet speech to the rudimentary "writing" on your blog and emoticons , I think that would be best for everyone.
Sincerely,
The World

Dan said...

... to your very last breath, when you're a jet, you're a jet!

but I am a yankee [fan and geographic resident], so if I was a red sox fan following the game on a cell phone while trying to enjoy a Jimmy Buffett concert, I would most definitely want to hang myself - for at least two reasons.

and in defense of dmbmeg's shoes, I think they've got loads of personality (the pair I stole anyways).

JHC said...

:dmbmeg: You've never been more right (except for maybe the charming part, I think I mighta messed that up today, whoops!). You look sorta hot when you talk about how great I am.

:Chris: Fucking Gagne.

:Blythe: Hi, pretty.

dmbmeg said...

dan-
Just don't steal my Chucks. I love them so.

WJR said...

I wish I had a fucking clue as to what is going on.

CrimeNotes said...

... and now we're close to the part where Carrie makes Travolta's car flip and explode ...

blythe said...

wjr - yeah, you and me both. but welcome to the shitshow!

cn - ok, i get it. travolta was in carrie. i'd blocked that out.

dmbmeg said...

How about this is the part where I throw tampons at your face and yell, "PLUG IT UP!"??????

dmbmeg said...

that was to crimenotes, not to you blythe.

Hi Bill.

CrimeNotes said...

How about this is the part where I throw tampons at your face and yell, "PLUG IT UP!"??????

You think you're being funny, but you actually did that when I first met you at that blogger party in the West Village. It was right after you stuck straws up your nose.

Business or Leisure? said...

Jebus, honest question: Are we seriously going to give up the East?

Dmbmeg and Blythe, honest question: Does this short make me look fat? It looked good in the store.

Business or Leisure? said...

*I meant shirt, of course. Although, I like the sentence better with short in it, truthfully.

blythe said...

so wait, what happened to the blog off?

also, BOL, no, that short looks damn good on you. of course, i don't know what you're talking about. but that's how i like it.

crimenotes - do you have pictures of this?

dmbmeg said...

You had to bring that up now didn't you?

For the record, you loved me with straws up my nose. You thought I was real funny.

No pictures Blythe, sorry.

BoL-
I imagine you in a pair booty shorts. Just stay out of Chelsea.

CrimeNotes said...

I imagine Business or Leisure carrying a roll of boots to the pussy bar.

Mr. Shain said...

you all claim to have "real jobs," but somehow i'm skeptical....

Irish and Jew said...

JHC - Woah simmer down. But seriously, I'd never drink boxed wine.

Chris - i really think u should make a sound bite of your bosox suck song to the tune of jimmy buffet. i dont think it is fair to the rest of the world that im the only one who got to hear it.

~Irish

So@24 said...

damn, it's rough out there.

Jeannette said...

Is there anyway to get a cliff notes version of your blog and comments sent to my inbox on a weekly basis? I dont check in for a few days and this post has 72 comments!? I fucking hate reading.

Passion of the Weiss said...

Let's just say when I get my digital camera and send pics of my cat, F. Scott Fitzgerald it's going to be on like a Pitchfork writer drunk off Sparks at a Deerhoof concert. You just wait ladies.

Prozacville said...

I don't know what the FUCK this is all about. But I'm impressed by the amount of comments you've garnered doing whatever it is you do.

Mr. Shain said...

super question prozacville. super question.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Where's this week's results, bitches??

Ryan said...

I'll be watching from afar with binoculars, bitches.