DISCLAIMER

i'm a little bit addicted to diet coke. i eat fast food, but pretend i don't. i falsely claim to like vegetables. sometimes i buy new underwear as opposed to doing laundry. i have way too many clothes for one person and many of said clothes are tops meant to showcase my cleavage. fine. i'm an adult, they're mine and it's ok. i go out (a lot) and stay up (way too) late. i'm a text messaging fiend and don't want to return your voicemail (i also screen your calls). i will put off buying groceries to get a pedicure or buy a pair of shoes. i should have more money saved. in addition to diet coke, i'm also addicted to a little slice of heaven called forever 21. i just can't help it. i will complain about being unshowered, but actually revel in my dirtiness. i love my dog more than i love some people i say i love. sometimes i smoke, but i will never buy my own. i'm delighted with chee-tos. i would watch too much tv if i had one (i also like veronica mars). i change with my blinds open. i dance to jt's sexyback like a first year at a quad party at an astounding volume.

so, sometimes i do things that are not so smart. fine. ok. but i will buy you a drink if you need it and make you laugh if i can.

this is written in a moment of guilt in a feeble attempt at redemption after reading about the weekend's antics.