Kirsten Dunst is the new me.

So, my lady friends and I went to see Marie Antoinette yesterday. I was ready to hate on the movie as many others have, but I must admit, I was quite delighted in spite of my hatred of Kirsten Dunst, which is seeded in the fact that sometimes, and don't laugh (I can hear you laughing), I feel like I look like her (face only). We both have squinty eyes and giant cheek areas. She, however, has hordes of handlers to make her presentable while I only have drugstore cosmetics, dark lighting and booze (not for me, for the onlooker, well, some for me).



In any case, the the Dauphine's life got me to thinking. Would an arranged marriage be so bad? Ok, maybe not marriage, but how about an arranged boyfriend? It takes all of the guess work out of whether or not he likes me, doesn't matter if I like him, we don't have to do the awkward getting to know you stuff, I don't have to show off my boobs in midwinter via skanky outfits at the bar or be paranoid about the state of my vajungle etc. We can skip that whole thing and get right into me gaining 15 pounds, him playing video games while I sit on the opposite end of the couch disgusted by the sight of his asscrack, and petty fights about who's taking out the trash. But at least I won't be alone on a Saturday night (not that I ever am) and relationships always start sucking at some point anyway, so why all of that investment?

Ok, maybe not. It clearly ended poorly for MA. I'll stick with the awkward, painful torture that is traditional dating. Plus, who am I kidding? I love showing off my boobs any time of year.