Monday, December 29, 2008

Christmas blows jingle balls.

An Oklahoma Christmas

Why is the most wonderful time of year the least? As I've mentioned, the season puts me in a severely foul mood, which can only be remedied by online shopping and the promise of days off from work. It was a rather dull holiday, which is all the more depressing, since I'm obviously a heartless robot incapable of feeling any joy.

1. A few weeks ago, one of my g-pas offered me a rather new 42" TV as he and g-ma had replaced their set recently for a new HD model. Sign me up! The fam crammed our overfed asses into my mom's Matrix to ensure we had trunk (hatch) space to accomodate the TV, which we intended to pick up on our annual pilgrimage to a place that might even be worse the Worcestor, MA, Woodward, OK. Upon arrival, I was greeted by said g-pa, who led me to a closet with an old, decrepit, maybe 25" set encased in what appeared to be fake wood panelling. I accepted it graciously and tossed it in the cavernous trunk of the car. I noticed that they had clearly reallocated the TV in question to the playroom where my little cousins had set up Christmas camp. Bah.

2. Part two of the same trip, with the same g-parents (it's confusing because my parents share the same hometown, which means two birds, one stone when it comes to holidays), all hell breaks loose because of a four year old girl. The grandparents have a spacious house clearly built with the intention of holding extended family over holidays. However, there's simply not enough room for all of the family members who arrive from all over the southern US. This year, the assortment included my step grandmother's daughter, husband, and four year old daughter (oh yeah, I forgot to mention she's the step 'ma - it's been over 20 years, so sometimes I forget, but it's important). Christmas Eve, four year old girl gets a room, the parents get a room, and my uncle (not step) gets a room. Christmas day, uncle is informed that he will be sleeping on the couch because step g-ma's number one son is arriving with his wife. So, now we have four year old girl in one room, parents in one room, newly arriving couple in one room, 48 year old uncle with bad back on couch in living room. Uncle says oh hell no. They think he is kidding because what sensible adult doesn't understand that a small child needs their very own queen size bed? I mean, really. He's not. He's driven in from Houston (not a quick jaunt, you see) and decides to hightail it back to Norman for a real bed at my house. Ok. Makes sense. We're heading out (after Christmas number three at the OTHER grandparents house complete with assorted cousins, aunts and uncles), and are about 45 miles outside of Woodward, when uncle's beamer starts spewing smoke. After leaving him on the highway and a trip to the Seiling, OK gas station that is thankfully open on Christmas Day night at about 11pm, we determine that he's got a cracked radiator. Guess where he's headed. Oh snap.

3. Ex-boyfriend sightings. Boo. It's still so strange to me that a) he's never responded to what I thought was a clever b-day card that said, hey, we're over all the weird crap, let's put it behind us and laugh, and b) that someone whom I shared almost everyday with for seven years is wandering the streets of my town with no inclination at all to inquire about how I am, what I am, all that stuff. Baffling. Current boyfriend drama. NSFB. (Not safe for blogs.) We'll see!

4. Recession is the new economy. I usually rely on making bank at Christmas to get me through the winter or allow me to buy something much needed (washer and dryer!!!), but it was a super stingy Christmas this year, understandably. So, I apologize for wearing either the same smelly thing over and over again, or for showing up ridiculousy under or overdressed because I'm down to the formal or loungewear portion of the ol' wordrobe.

My life without a washer and dryer. Sad, isn't it?

5. NYE! Go fuck yourself. I give up on this. $10 says you can find me with a bottle of scotch and a self imposed SATC marathon on my shitty, not 42" TV.

6. Happy holidays. More later.

12 comments:

Mr. Shain said...

it's remarkable all this happened and i wasn't even there to laugh at you. also, you have NYE plans; they're in LA. you can spend the whole time in China town to brush up on your Mandarin.

Michael5000 said...

joyeaux noel.

Michael5000 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Julie_Gong said...

if i bring my own bottle of booze can i join you.

Dan said...

Does Woodward have a school as pompous and pathetic as Holy Cross? If not, Worcester wins. How can people living in a city so crappy think they're so great?

Big Daddy said...

Yah, this holiday season sucked.

I'm glad the year is over.

Best wishes though!

Step Right Up said...

This Christmas will rank in the top unforgettable Christmases. And when I say unforgetable, I mean I'd rather just forget it.

My NYE is going to blow. We're going by ourselves to a knock off of Cirque de Soleil called Cirque de Symphonie and it's just as expensive.

Kadonkadonk said...

NYE blows. I'm heading out of work now to pick up mass quantities of cheap rum. I'm brining in '09 with a wicked hangover.

G said...

For fooks sake, lady, give us a call back, will you?

Anonymous said...

Even if she was a disappointment—no, a torture—to them, they remained a comfort for her. He looked so…vivid, almost more real than the other two men, or perhaps less real. To a raedjour, that could be as effective as a douse of icy cold water. They had him clean in moments. Little by little, she came back to herself. So handsome, she thought, relatively sure that he wasnt listening. Gala knelt at her side, a reassuring hand on her shoulder. He bent his legs underneath her arms, drawing her tighter to his groin. They had always done all they could for her, even when she was difficult. I…didnt realize until recently thats what Id done, but its true. Big fingers cupped her chin, tilted her face up. His hand trailed up her bare arm, causing gooseflesh. It would be strange if she did. They still refused to relent. When hed had his fill and shed somewhat subsided, he rose to his knees. She frowned a little and squinted to get as best a look as she could. I have all the time in the world for you. He sat in the chair, watching her. And Im hardly one to object, given that Im truemated to another. She twisted her grip as she slid her fist from root to tip.

Anonymous said...

Hed been brought to his old suite of rooms and laid out on his bed. Another, smaller, band of rogues was being watched in a different part of the city. Most commonly, those who were truemated fell in love, sometimes instantly sometimes it took centuries. Her sinewy warrior had to pummel someone on a regular basis or he became antsy. She fucked all the unmated males.
[url=http://blacky.0fees.net]black shot[/url]

Anonymous said...

hentai gay porn gallery