Sunday, December 14, 2008

Bars that suck/Bradford!/Marriage/Facebook/Smith is weird/Things to come

Bars that suck

I made a horrible mistake Friday night. First, I went to Opies. If you're a Normanite, you know the gravity of this poor decision. After narrowly escaping the lure of the mirrored dance floor, the gang headed to Seven47, a popular bar on campus corner. Actually, it's really a haven for Shain and I to drink Hendricks and tonic and confuse the waitress when we ask for cucumbers because we are pretentious pricks. Last time Shain and I were there (last week, so?) we couldn't stop commenting on the amazing number of bartenders, barbacks, and waitstaff that kept pouring out of the clown car of a bar. They were hydrating and caffeinating as if preparing for an exam or something. Now I know why. Seven was a fucking shit show Friday night. That place blows serious balls. Fucked up drunk chicks + retardedly high heels = a hot, clumsy mess. It smelled like a frat basement, piss and all. You couldn't walk without your feet sticking to the floor, if you could walk at all. Sure, they have $2 Pabst, but I drew the line when I had to wait 20 minutes in the longest bathroom line ever only to be cut off by two drunk bitches who literally pushed me. PUSHED ME. I flipped my shit in the only way I know how. I yelled something sarcastic and got the girl behind me on my side who pulled them out of the stall. I stole their TP in the meantime.

Bradford!

Yay Sam! As I awaited the announcement from ESPN, I couldn't help but notice the difference in quality in the little bios prepared for each candidate. Colt's from small town America, but with a big heart. Sam played all kinds of sports and was a cute kid. Tim performs surgical procedures on orphans in Manila. Oh, blow me. Also, Sam won, so suck it. Gators are goners.

Marriage

My roomate is getting married on Saturday. His bachelor party was Saturday night. I was told the after party would take place at our place (the only evidence that I can find that even a modicum of fun was had is a blow up doll that's currently staring at me - I'm not sure that's a good sign), so I vacated to the 'rents house for the night so they could party in peace (e.g. without me trying to drink all their shit and DJ). It was weird sleeping in my old bed. And far more comfortable. Which leads me to this landmark decision. I want to get married. Considering the recession, I'm pretty sure it's the only way I'll ever get anything I need to, you know, live life. Roommate is taking his washer and dryer to the new place on Thursday. WTF! I have to buy my own now? Is it cool to handwash everything in the kitchen sink? They're like more than $100, which is my limit for any expediture. He's also taking the coffee table. And a lot of other shit. Blast! I got rid of almost everything in a bizarre personal belongings holocaust back in the MA, so I really don't have much, nor do I need much, except, you know a bed that works and a washer and dryer. If anyone has one they're looking to sell, let me know! I'm in a funk about this. Why isn't it kosher to register when you get out of school, get a real job and realize how fucking broke you are? That's when you need shit. Not 10 years from now when I've bullied someone into a shotgun wedding.

Facebook

I know it's stupid, but I don't want any of my friends to be friends with the ex boyfriend, especially since he's yet to respond to the card that I sent on his b-day in my effort to be mature and adult and all that shit. Petty, yes. Rational, no. I would really like to not be reminded of his existence if possible. And now I am. Blech.

Smith is weird

I caught wind of Smith's reveal of the new mascot/spirit mark/I'm not really sure via Facebook. I headed over to the college website to encounter this video. I just don't get it. I don't think I'm impressed. I know that much. Also, I know that when Smith does weird shit, or drops in rankings, I want to call them and ask for my money back. I feel like* I went to a different Smith.

Watch this.

*Trademarked Smithie talk.

Things to come

My top eight songs of 2008. Excited yet? You should be.

9 comments:

Jason said...

You went to Opie's?
That place is still open?
There is only one place to go to in Norman.
And that place is Mr. Bill's.
End of discussion.

John said...

Hey, this post feels a lot more like the ones from days of old!

Craigslist is totally the place to head for a new (used) washer and dryer. I went there to get a portable dishwasher when my place in New Haven came without. For about $100 I got one that still had the tag on it. Awesome.

John said...

In addition, I also hate the fact that you can't register straight out of school. I often find myself thinking about buying some kind of kitchen utensil/appliance and then deciding that I should wait until I'm getting hitched.

On a related note, a couple of my astronomy professors got married while I was in undergrad. They were in their mid/late 40's and it was their first wedding. They had a huge yard sale to consolidate their belongings since they had both long since stopped waiting to register to pick up the things they needed. I guess I don't really have that much longer to wait...

Matt A said...

Waiting to register is like saving yourself for someone. Why wait for later when you can go to Williams Sonoma and have a domestic goods shopping orgy now?

I don't need to "register" to own a good lemon zester, springform cheesecake pan, meatloaf pan, rice cooker, set of good knives, avocado peeler, etc. Life's too short.

ballerinatoes said...

Holy crap, I didn't even know Opie's was still open...are people still knocking each other down to get on the dance floor when they play "Push It"?

blythe said...

jason - yes, it's still open. i think it might be the only place to thrive in these economic times. well, and bill's. there's always bills.

john - yeah, yeah, but people don't use craigslist here like they do there. plus, there are just less people. people here hate public transportation and whole foods too. yay! fun! don't wait, just buy it! that way you can fill your registry with things like wiis and kayaks.

matt a - $$, matt, $$. not all of us are mr. moneybags. meatloaf pan? is there a special pan for that?

ballerinatoes - oh it's still there. also, funny you should mention it, they did play push it. i suddenly was reminded of how kind of kick ass that song is. no pushing. just some chick raving out by herself in the mirror.

Matt A said...

Oh yeah.
http://tinyurl.com/5lkc7u

$12 at Target. You could add it to "Club Wedd" if you wanted to.

blythe said...

well, i never. there it is. the meatloaf pan meatloaf pan. is it gross that i really like meatloaf? i just typed meatload. ha.

Mr. Shain said...

this is your first real post in like a year. wow. maybe you just needed to lose me to rekindle the magic with blogging.

or maybe you just needed a good seven47 bar fight.