I am so awesome at my job, it hurts.

Have you ever received a document at work and looked at it and are like, WTF? Did Paris Hilton and LiLo write this together or something? What the hell is this shwords?* So, you take it to your boss, not your supervisor that you're chummy with, but you know, the VP of your department, and relay your concern about the clarity if not veracity of said document. And then your kind boss looks at you with her wise eyes and drops the bomb that she was in fact the author. FUCKSTICKS! Sweet Lincoln's mullet, I am a fucktard. I mumbled something about my public school education failing me in terms of reading comprehension and backed my butt out of her office. Now what?

*For the love of all things fashion, watch the fucking videos already. I would like to make jokes about this stuff for the rest of my life or at least through the next couple of weeks.

It's Saturday, I'm in Love

because Friday did that thing where someone goes, 'hey, what's on your shoes' and then punches you in the face or something. First of all, I was out of oatmeal. Bad news bears. Secondly, I'd finished the last of my Diet Coke Plus 12 pack Thursday, third(ly) my lovely work studies bailed on me leaving early for Fall Break, which left me to do my job all alone with no lunch. WTF? I left for lunch at 4.30. That's when my mom called and told me I'd be meeting her for dinner at exactly 5, because she'd had a horrible day, needed a drink and needed someone to drive her home. Great. Although I enjoyed my expensive margarita (never frozen, never made from a mix, that's just wrong), my buzz was punctuated with poignant old family chestnuts like "you never support me," "why are you never on my side," and "you don't love me because you never support me and are never on my side" when Mom was describing the trials and tribulations that come with being a professional tween wrangler. I feel for her, I do, but I try to help when I guess what she really wants is for me to shut up, nod and order another round. Lesson learned. The point of this is that Friday sucked. I'm trying again today, although today has HUGE potential suck factor because today is THE OU/TEXAS GAME!!!!!

Oh yes. The game so big and ugly it can't be played in the hometown of either team. Also, it's the biggest rivalry and game of the conference, I would argue, so sure, Oklahoma, let Texas gain all the profit of your hard work. Dallas needs more money, Lord knows. Anyway, I have a bad feeling about this. You will all hate me, but I think getting our nuts ripped off by Colorado will have not an invigorating effect, but rather, I think it's a slippery slope to OSU land from here (although, OSU is playing A&M for the Big 12 South title today because we're retarded and lost). Anyway, I have a bad feeling. Or maybe it's just about the traffic. You see, in my infinite wisdom, I have decided to drive to Dallas, not for the game per se (because I think it would be heartbreaking, also, I don't have $1500 for a ticket and my cast iron liver is more porcelain these days) but because Rilo Kiley's playing. Yay! You may hate on Under The Blacklight, but I'm into it. Also, I have a mad crush on Jenny, just like everyone else. I'm on my way soon, but probably only to spend six maddening hours in traffic, and miss the beginning of the game, because I am smart like that. So, friends, since I don't ask much of you, please please please do whatever you do to make sure your team wins, but replace your team with OU. K? Thx.

It's on!

Meg and I had an idea the other day. Scary, I know. Click HERE to find out more about Blog of Love. This shit is real, so Bee-Spot nominees better step up.





of

It's Friday, I'm in Love

with the idea of getting a tattoo. Now, I'm not sure if I'll ever really go through with it (much like anything in my life, except for for Side Sweeping Bangs 07 and we all know how that turned out), but I do love thinking about it.

1) Is there any establishment in Oklahoma trustworthy enough of my delicate dermis?

2) What to get? Do I go with the ever popular Chinese character? In my case, of course, I would legitimately know what it means (no comments please from Alex or Jared) so I'd have one up on all the other d-bags walking around with them. Ok, I'd have .5 up.

Love?

Or maybe, I should just go for the gold and get a Ying/Yang.

3) Where? I'm leaning toward a nice display like Eve's tiny paw prints on her lovely lady lumps.

But seriously, I'm considering it. I need input.