I Want Candy*

If you were to call me right now, and our discussion somehow devolved into "hey, what are you wearing?" (as it so often does), I would respond as such:

Hey baby, I hope you like pre-shrunk cotton, cause I've got on a t-shirt. It's more than just a t-shirt, it's an over sized, traffic cone orange frock with delightfully whimsical black felt shapes placed strategically to resemble a carved pumpkin. Oh yeah. My boxy tee, lovingly and expertly crafted by the youngsters in my office to celebrate the holiday, sits atop a pair of ill conceived J. Crew jeans. They seemed like a steal at the time, but months later, after an unfortunate brush with a full length mirror, I've discovered these jeans are more mom than MILF. That's cool, though, cause I rock my Chuck's that used to be cream colored but now are closer to asphalt. Hello? Are you there? Hello?

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