Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Things White People Love #34, St. Patrick's Day

There's nothing immigrant hating WT's in Oklahoma like more than celebrating St. Paddy's Day. It's the perfect time of year to bust out your "Kiss Me I'm Irish" t-shirt, green and white striped super gay Dr. Seuss hat, guzzle some overpriced green beer and try to get laid by female counterparts wearing very tiny green t-shirts and tinier pants with even tinier brains. If you're a little higher up on the socio-economic ladder, you carefully scour Abercrombie or American Eagle for that perfectly fitting, peck revealing polo, primed for a festive popped collar. If you're even higher up on the ladder, you've most certainly spent the week before perusing Urban Outfitters and other vintage t-shirt sites for the perfect, gently worn, super ironic, tight fitting tee for the occasion. If you're me, you hate all of you.

Hope you had a car bomb.

6 comments:

Michael5000 said...

You're cute when you're bitter.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

You're bitter.

d said...

it sounds like you've been hanging out with too many gay guys. or frat boys. same thing.

JulieGong said...

I threw up a car bomb? Does that count?

Anonymous said...

or if you're like me, you buck tradition and don't wear green or celebrate because it's not even a real holiday. That's right, I'm a St. Paddy's scrooge.

Sarah Lynn Knowles said...

ugh. i hate this holiday also. for pretty much the same reasons!