Tuesday, March 25, 2008

crap sandwich

Yesterday, I started my new job at the old job. I was so nervous I forgot to brush my teeth, I only used ACT mouthwashy stuff. I had to break into a coworker's emergency toothpaste stash. This morning, I forgot deodorant. I predict I will forget my bra tomorrow.

In a related story, do you ever suddenly move away from where you lived for six years and kind of inadvertently cut off communication with all of your friends because the last six months you were there you were essentially 180 degrees from your real self, then drink some wine one night and look at their Facebook pages (like a douche) and realize they're all just fine without you and you want to cry a little, but can't because that would be stupid?

In another related story, have you ever had a boyfriend who's in law school and they get real frustrated and throw books around and stuff? And you feel really crappy because there's nothing you can do about it except say, well, that's why I didn't go to law school.

21 comments:

G said...

Been through what?? UM, YES. HELLO? Call me back, you flakemaster. By Zeus's thunderbolt, girl.

Mr. Shain said...

jesus christ blythe, get a sponsor.

Anonymous said...

what job did you get? don't work at circuit city

Clinton said...

Regarding the last thing you said: Substitute law school with being a teacher and yes, I've totally been through that. It's mad frustrating. But it reaffirms my faith in my decision to do nothing instead of something.

John said...

What year of law school is the b.f. in? I thought it got a lot easier after the first year. The books were lighter.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Uhh, what on earth are you talking about?

step right up said...

Stay off the facebook. It will only drive you deeper in to self pity. Do something useful, like belly up to the nearest instead.

5 of 9er said...

I tend to leave people in my past... in the past. And I see myself doing pretty well without them. It's how you look at it.

And no... I never had a boyfriend in law school.

So@24 said...

Forgetting to wear your bra is the quickest way to make friends in the work place.

Matt A said...

Nothing wrong with a little Facebook voyeurism from time-to-time. Most of my "friends" are also doing fine without me, but that doesn't worry me.

The law school book-throwing thing reminds me of some imagery from Daniel Orozco's short story, "Shakers." Something about a failing student staring at a blank wall crying with a straight face while ripping pages out of a "hundred dollar engineering textbook." Vivid.

Step Right Up said...

The word bar was supposed to be in my comment. What happened to it?!

Julie_Gong said...

myspace/facebook has officially ruined my life.

Patrick said...

Law school blows relationships apart. I was lucky that my wife didn't live with me until 2nd year, after I had gone through the dumbest part of it. And no, it never gets easier, you just learn to eat the shit they serve you better.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

I almost ALWAYS forget to brush my teeth when Im in a hurry or stressed or have an interview or something important, i hope I dont have dentures someday.

The Mighty Horse said...

Crap Sandwich? Is that the new name for your blog?

Christopher said...

Bee-Spot was a lot more interesting before Blythe got a life. Can't you take one for the team/blogosphere and retreat into a cavern of misery and self-loathing, for the sake of your blog?

:-)

Colleen said...

First scenario: yup. Except the reason I try not to look at their facebooks is that I am totally jello and I miss them.

Step Right Up said...

...I forgot to brush my teeth,I only used ACT mouthwashy stuff.

This happened to me today but exchange ACT for CREST whitening rinse, and I thought of you.

Julie_Gong said...

Dude, are you done with your crap sandwich yet? I miss your banter.

Mr. Shain said...

i actually don't miss it, in case you're taking a vote...

South To Stilly said...

Friends moving on and forgetting you sucks balls. Sucking on a bottle of bourbon helps, but only so much. I feel your pain.