Dear baby,

I'm sure there will be a kajillion things I'll love about you, but for now, I'm super excited that your dad, out of nowhere, realized that we'll (finally) need a Christmas tree (ok, maybe not this year, but definitely next!). I'm excited because your father has a black belt in scrooginess, but it appears his black coal holiday heart is melting a little just for you. Who knows, maybe we'll even go totally crazy and put light on the house! Not.

Under Pressure (whine whine whine)

Tomorrow brings the beginning of week 24 and I've yet to feel even a modicum of excitement about the impending arrival of the little dude. Between the shock of the situation, multiple grand parents croaking, T-day and a brutal short work week (hello 14 hour days with no time for meals, but plenty of time for monumental stress) I can't get to a place where I feel like everything's going to be ok and is working out like it should.

This is due in part to the fact that K and I aren't married. Yeah, we're doing this totally out of order, but when your collective parents (and grand/soon to be great grandparents) are old school Oklahomans, this is a stumbling block. I learned that basically neither set of parents is excited or happy (in spite of the fact that K and I have been in a committed relationship for at least three years... and are 28 and 29 respectively, we're not 18) and very concerned because we're unmarried and not ready (duh, anyone who says they're absolutely ready to have a baby is a fucking liar - it's impossible!). I'm not sure if they think one of us is going to bail on the other leaving them to pick up the slack or if they don't want to share the news since instead of us being husband and wife we're boyfriend and girlfriend or what, but it feels super shitty to not have your family behind you 100% during a time like this. Yeah, it's not ideal, but it's not like we're the only people who've found themselves in this situation. I can't imagine that we wouldn't have headed down this path anyway, so what if we headed down it in reverse? Big deal.

In any case, I still barely have a bump (which is fine as long as everything's checking out ok!) and have had pretty much zero symptoms, but dang, this week brought out the weepiness in me something fierce. There's so much to do, so little time, and even less money. The next four months are going to be a shit show, but it will all be worth it in the end, right? RIGHT?

Happy T-day, Y'all!

'Tis the season, no? Today, we will be going to not one, but two Thanksgiving meals within an hour of each other. Yay! Not. My digestive system is basically on strike (thanks spawn), so there's nothing I want less than to participate in social gorging. Believe, me, this is hard. I love eating more than I love reading perezhilton.com all day every day. But, alas, I think I'm going to have to take it really easy or else. Also, there's T-day dinner number 3 on the horizon for Saturday. Yay! Not.

In the meantime, hope this gets you in the mood. From one of my favorite movies, Home for the Holidays:

Also, I'm grateful for a bunch of crap and stuff. There.

Hey 'Ye

Dear spawn,

I hope you like Kanye, because My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is blowing up my speakers. Seriously, this album is really, really good. A lot of people thought 808s and Heartbreaks sucked, but I liked it. However, this is a return to Kanye's best. Boyfriend brings it with well produced, well lyricized compositions that make me hate the radio. And yeah, he's a freak and yeah he writes in ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME, but so fucking what.

Week 23

And really nothing to show for it. This has been a completely symptomless pregnancy, which is great, of course. So far, I've actually lost weight (weird) and am still in my normal clothes (thank God because we are broke, broke, broke). The only typical things are my cravings for cheeseburgers. Wait, that's always been an issue. Other than that, I'm going to trust the docs and the ultrasound since they say everything's there and accounted for (including boy parts) and humming along just fine.

In the meantime, I'm trying to think of all the unprepared moms out there who've made it just fine, like Britney, Khourtney Kardashian, Jamie Lynn Spears, Ashley Simpson, Nicole Richie. I'm in great company, right?

P.S. Would it be wrong to ask for corporate sponsorship for this kid? I would totally name him Devon (hello Devon Energry) or Chesapeake or Coca-Cola or pretty much anything that would pay the bills.

So, that happened.

But before I reveal what "that" is, let us review the following posts. There's this one. And this one. And probably a lot more that I can't remember because I can't remember anything anymore and tire easily. Because, you guessed it: the bee-spot is knocked up. FOR REALZ. Despite my best efforts and my lady doc always telling me my chances of conception aren't awesome (read very minimal), nature conspired to prove everyone wrong. And now, baby bee-spot is no longer a joke, but due this spring. Believe it! (I don't.) Shocked? Me too. But, I'm Oldy McOlderson (29) and am in a stable, long term relationship with my lawyer/boyfriend. No, he's just my boyfriend. He hasn't had to represent me. Yet. So, we were eventually headed this direction, I just anticipated this event happening a little later. However, now that I'm going through it and all that shiz, I'm happy to be 29 since all kinds of additional testing and care is required in just a few short years.

So, now you know. This blog has been dead, obvs, but I've decided to give it new life, literally and figuratively. Mazel tov, me!