Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Cringesday: Deck My Balls

*UPDATE - Cringe this: So, I was just told only moments ago that I (me!) can have a membership to Sam's (Club) courtesy of work! How happy am I?! Really happy! Why? Because, seriously, there is nothing more wonderful than buying in bulk. Last time I had a Costco membership, I actually bought white gravy mix in bulk. Oh damn. It's gonna be a good year.

You know what Christmas means to me? Besides utter disappointment and those delightful chewy peppermint candies, the ones in the plastic wrappers with little Christmas trees on them, I think they come in both green and red (!) it means that I can freely listen to Mariah Carey's masterpiece, "All I Want For Christmas Is You." Truth be told(and that's not what we're really about here, so don't get used to it) I listen to this little diddy all year. In honor of the season, I present you with a brief list of the totally ridiculous things I want for Christmas. My material gluttony is quite embarrassing.

Le Creuset Cookware - Yes, I know these items are tremendously expensive, but I am a jerk. So what.



National Geographic subscription - The exbf's dad used to get me this as an annual gift. It was pretty sweet. I guess the new chick's getting it now.

Rabbit Corkscrew - Not to be confused by the other rabbit.

Cooks Illustrated subscription - Yes. I like to read, drink and cook. Call me. Let's go out. I'm so much fun.

Cashmere leggings from J. Crew - My ass looks just like this! Except not at all. Not even a little. Dear J. Crew, really? $150 cashmere leggings? What are you trying to do to me and my bank account?



Planet Earth DVD Set - Because I don't already watch enough TV. It's educational. Blow me.

Harry Potter Box Set - Hi, I'm a totalus nerdiamus.

Expensive girly underwear from Anthropologie - since my clothes are from the clearance rack at the GAP or F21.

So, if you are planning to purchase any of these items for your favorite blogstress (more likely, you've stumbled on this page while googling "Shain's lady garden"), please email me for sizes and my address. Seasons blessings and all that crap.

19 comments:

Clinton said...

Not to brag or anything, but *damn* my ass looks good in that picture.

blythe said...

not bad, clinton, not bad at all. actually, is that good? to me, it kind of looks like what i imagine the ass of a muscleless 13 year old boy looks like. not that i'm looking. really, i'm not. anatomy. nothing more.

Mr. Shain said...

tim gunn says casmere leggings are never a good idea.

Julie_Gong said...

Those cashmere leggings are as comfortable as they look.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Blythe, be glad your ass looks nothing like that modeling the cashmere. Isn't that a guy,s ass?

Shain's lady garden. Hah!

blythe said...

mr. shain - tm gunn says you're not a good idea.

julie - *elaine benis style GET OUT!* you didn't!

cherry - yeah, it hasn't looked like that since never. poor shain, poor shain.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Yeah, we feel sory for Shain. He is pitiable.

5 of 9er said...

I was just blasting that Mariah song in the car on Monday night... wish I was eating the crewy candies at the same time. That would of been amazing. Oh well.

Dre said...

i could dream of le creuset all day... that yellow teapot invades my dreams.

cooks illustrated rocks... for a fee.

dmbmeg said...

That woman's ass is hypnotic.

Mr. Shain said...

why do i read this blog anymore?

exile_grrl said...

The leggings good choice, but do you really want them in leprechaun green? If I were you I'd bag on all that other shit and hold out for the Le Creuset Cookware. You could get it in the leprechaun green.

So@24 said...

One of my favorite things to do is after a hard night of drinking, passing out to the soothing voice of Sir David Attenborough.

I love you Planet Earth.

Step Right Up said...

Blythe,
How will Santa bring you those gifts when he is going to be bringing them to me? Well, you can have the cashmere leggings and the Harry Potter.

d said...

for some reason i can't handle the picture of that woman in those green leg thingys. it's really disturbing.

Big Daddy said...

Hey Blythe, here's a bunch a different versions of All I Want For Christmas.

Happy Holidays!

Rebel said...

1. I was watching "Love Actually" yesterday and TOTALLY have that song stuck in my head.
2. I want everything on your christmas list too... except replace the Earth DVD set with X-Files DVDs, and replace the cashmere pants with cashmere yarn.

mmmmmm materialism =)

The Mighty Horse said...

You know what I want for Christmas? Seasons 2 and 3 of Arrested Development!

Deutlich said...

I listen to that Mariah song all year round as well.

That, and once September hits I feel justified pulling out the old NSYNC christmas album...

::facepalm::

apparently I'm still 13. yeesh. for what it's worth, it is slightly embarrassing. maybe I shouldn't have admitted to this in your blog...?