Act I: The season started out so promising. We had a little bit of trouble with a little bit of Colorado. But then, good news! Everyone started sucking balls! Now, including us. WTF, man. Sam! Halzle! Jesus Christ on a stick. Or whatever. I can't even talk about it. Really, I can't. Except, WTF are we paying you for, Stoops? To lose to effing Texas Tech? I don't think so. Kansas, ok, maybe because, ostensibly, they are as good as we are. Tech?!?@$*(@ You might have led us to a championship, but you've also presided over some of our worst losses. Nut up, dude. De-red shirt someone. Ask someone from the crowd to be the quarterback - like the guy who throws it through the target to win $1000 from Jason White's dealership. I can't wait to lose to OSU this week. If you don't hear from me by Wednesday of next week... A malaise fell over Norman Saturday night that not even $2.50 Shiners could and L's dad's Grateful Dead (The Jamminators!) cover band could cure. Oh, how the mighty will fall. Like this blog. One minute I'm nominted for an Oklahoma Blogger award™, the next, Sitemeter reveals that only five people read. And by people I mean Google searches for "Zach Braff's tight pants."
Part II: I can't believe I forgot to mention this! Last weekend, I left my neighborhood at about 7 to grab coffee at Starfucks before Shain and I headed of to judge a high school debate tourney (suck it). I should mention, it was exceptionally foggy this morning. Like, can't see anything. I approach the intersection where I need to make a right. I have a green light. As I'm gently nudging the gas, suddenly, this bike flies across through the intersection causing me to slam on my brakes (I wasn't going that fast, but still) and I come eye to eye with - guess! Wait for it, the exbf's mom! I almost ran her over! Ha! I mean, oops.
C) I have a habit of singing in the bathroom at work because, well, the acoustics are fucking fantastic in there. The lighting makes me look like old school Courtney Love, but the tiles make me sound like Kelly Clarkson. I wasn't really aware that my voice carried beyond the bathroom till I walked out and was greeted by a coworker who suggested, humorously, I choose to believe, that I save it for karaoke night. I'll show you karaoke.
4: Zack Harrison Memorial Music Monday! - This is my latest commute mix.
Oh My God - Mark Ronson and Lily Allen: Oh my God I can't believe I like this song.
A Baby For Pree - Neutral Milk Hotel: What does it even mean?
The Anglo-Saxons - The Mountain Goats: Remember that cartoon show about history? I can't remember the name, but it was pretty much awesome.
I'd Love You - Sonya Kitchell: I would.
Superstar - Lupe Fiasco: I am.
Scattered Leaves - The Be Good Tanyas: This chick sounds like Shakira. But I like it anyway.
Mornington Crescent - Belle & Sebastian: This one's for you, Shain. Thanks for abandoning me. No, really.
The Temptation of Adam - Josh Ritter: Seriously! Why am I just getting into this guy now?
Blue Eleanor - Old Canes: I dunno. Just like it.
Needles in My Eyes - Beta Band: Puts me in a happy trance.
Oh Lately It's So Quiet - Ok Go: These guys are more than just a treadmill dance troupe.
Arcade Precinct - 1990s: What? Yeah, it's kind of awful.
Mansard Root - Vampire Weekend: Surprise! I'm in love with this! And they're coming to Norman!
Hold On - KT Tunstall: Yes. This has been or will be used in a comical montage featuring McDreamy, George, Izzie, and/or Addison. Blow me.
Section 5.1.3: The WGA and corporate TV America have got us by the balls. And we are letting them. Did you know that The Office is probably over for the season? The last new episode aired last week. Scrubs might not finish the series (Will JD and Elliot end up together? Will we ever meet Kelso's Edith? I just have to know!). And so on and so on with shows from Comedy Central to the CW. And we are letting them. So, I propose a strike against TV in general. Fuck them! We can read! Knit! Ride bikes! Smoke weed and look at fish tanks! Poetry readings! Concerts! Shows! Blogs! TV? We don't need no stinkin' TV. I'm totally serious. Until The Real Housewives of Orange Cunty are on. I love that show.
Act VI: Happy Birthday Mom! You said you don't read, but I know you do. I'm glad you were born so you could bear me.
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18 comments:
Football has been a downer this season. I don't like these basketball teams (Kansas, Kentucky) doing well in football. It messes every thing up in football land. I dread what is going to happen to us (AR) the day after T-Day in the swamp against LSU.
You get music in your bathroom at work? Lucky dog! We have an emergency pull (I guess in case you fall off the pot with your britches down). Maybe I'll try it. Just to see if it works.
did you know that i hated the office last week. i laughed like once. i breaks my heart to not laugh at the office.
But can you read, knit, smoke weed, and ride bikes all at the same time? That would make a good tv show. Too bad there are no writers to make it happen.
Mornington Cresent is my "walking to the coffee place early in the morning when I'm still not quite awake yet" song.
The Office ended for me 4.3 seconds after the season premiere this year when I sat through a wit-free and utterly heartless hour of "comedy" and deleted it from my Tivo.
I support the strike, but god damn if I wasn't at the verge of tears last night with the thought of of only 2 more episodes of Heroes.
Thank God for Tim Gunn.
And Clinton--
You're pretty.
How is it you thought your singing would not reach beyond the bathroom walls? Silly.
ACT 1: 'Kansas, ok, maybe because, ostensibly, they are as good as we are.': um. who's number two again? who isn't?
@sru: bball teams being good at fball is gonna split the universe right in half. seriously. i'm totally freaked out about it.
C: I can totally picture you rocking out in the bathroom at work. that had me in tears. (of sadness, not laughter. j/k!)
4: i'm glad you finally started listening to me about josh ritter.
and there's nothing wrong with some old canes. don't be ashamed.
i can't wait for vampire weekend to f'ing put out a full-length already dammit.
5.1.3 i'm so over tv. and i love that you said 'smoke weed'. that's so 1970's of you.
@dmbmeg. i'm really sad about no more heroes though. and having to wrap up the entire season in three eps is f'ing unbelievable. although it did make last night's really, really fantastic.
sru - oh. no music at work. i make my own, hence the problem. also, ou's so lame in basketball, maybe i'll adopt a team this season. start campaigning everyone!
julie - you're right. however, when the alternatives are my two dads or two men and a baby or whatever it is and according to jim and all of the other bullshit, i'll take a laughless office.
9er - you've never been to northampton, ma, have you.
clinton - it's lovely, isn't it?
jhc - i hear you. but still. also, everything sucks compared to 30 rock and it's always sunny in philadelphia.
dmbmeg - ooh! i forgot about PR! carry on. clinton. with being pretty. make it work.
cherry - i am silly, yes, but also, i thought i was good so, you know, if i did leak out a bit, there would be more record deals than complaints. i'm no celine, though.
d - way to write your own post. i joke. wait, what am i supposed to say? also, i'm an old fashioned kind of girl. ask anyone.
We all know Kansas has yet to play a Top 25 team. Kansas will beat Missouri as soon as Mark Mangino has only one chin. This is good for all you Sooners.
Chase Daniel for Heisman! (not really)
d-
I about creamed my pants at the ending of last nights episode. It was spectacular.
Blythe-
you must watch! There is a gloriously bitchy queen on the show that is going to MAKE this season. He also sports a sideways mullet which is nothing short of spectacular.
Yes, I just said spectacular twice. Apparently my thesaurus in Microsoft Word is broken.
dmbmeg... Why thank you! I just got my hair did, so it's nice to get some positive feedback.
Oh, I'm sorry. I was looking at the milk, not the hair.
(I don't even know what that comment means)
What's funny is that I haven't had a haircut in months! The internet is full of lies today.
But the milk is very pretty, yes.
I didn't know sideways mullets were possible.
Shows: there's a strike there, too.
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