BREAKING NEWS

I interrupt this program to bring you the following announcement: TINA FEY ACTUALLY LOOKS GOOD. T-Fey usually Lemons* her fancy outfits but good, however, at the Emmys last night, she looked particularly fabulous. Well played, personal idol.



*see how I did that?

Dear clementines,

I simply adore your easy packaging and tiny tartness. You are pretty much the best fruit out there. Thanks for filling in the space between meals with your perfection.

TV Math

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In which I kind of feel guilty about ragging on engagement pics

Today, I went to the laundromat to wash my parent's guest bedroom comforter because neither of them have any idea of how to operate a front loading commercial machines and because I suffer from debilitating, chronic, terminal parental guilt syndrome (they've spent a kajillion dollars on me, the least I can do is drag my ass to the laundromat while they're out of town caring for my ailing grandmother kind of thing). While I was there, I observed several couples happily doing their laundry. One of them holds open the door while the other shovels in a load of towels. Another pair folds t-shirts side by side. Another couple sits giggling in front of an open laptop. And another works wordlessly following a long established routine. It was kind of reassuring, like coupling's ok. And wouldn't a laundromat make a wonderful location for an engagement photo shoot? Ok, joking. Or am I?


Cute or potentially criminal? I can't help but remember this.

Things I hate #1,348,073.46

Elaborate engagement photo sessions. They're just weird. Sorry marrieds or about to be marrieds, but no one wants to see overly saturated pics of you in a dress from Anthropologie with cankle creating wedges and your betrothed standing hand in hand in front of a barn. Or train tracks. Or the shitty part of town trying to be some kind of rustic authenticity. Or spread out on a "vintage" quilt in a grassy field. Or a shot of your engagement shoes. Or a black and white of a somber embrace in front of a bookstore because you're literate and cool, we get it. Anyway, that is all. For today.

Zack Harrison Memorial Music Monday: So predictable edition.

I am spectacularly lazy on most fronts, but my recent lack of willpower to find new music is shocking even me. Does it all suck? It seems like it all sucks. In any case, I've found a few songs I like, but they're kind of all milquetoast, which I guess is kind of what I'm into, I just don't like to admit it. Here they are in no particular order:

Better Things - Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings: Did you just break up with someone? Still think hateful thoughts about someone you broke up with years ago? Then this song is for you.

1977 - Ana Tijoux: Spanish class!

Release Me - The Like: Since I like Camera Obscura, I'm contractually obligated.

American Troglodyte - David Byrne: American David Byrne fan.

Shadow People - Dr. Dog: Sometimes, I just need to be reminded of Dr. Dog.

Do You Love Me - Guster: Sometimes, I just need to be reminded of college.


On Your Way Down - Trombone Shorty: Dude! The name says it all.

Rains Came - Shelby Lynne: Typical Saturday morning...

Numbers Don't Lie - Mynabirds: Amen. They don't. Also, I'm looking forward to what else this chick does. Should be good.

The Suburbs - Arcade Fire: Required.

Beg Steal or Borrow - Ray Lamontagne & The Pariah Dogs: Ray at his melancholic best.

If I were you, I'd go to elbo.ws for a listen, just in case you might like something. I'm telling you, though, I think I've turned a corner into boring musicville.

Dear boyfriend,

I love you and all that crap, but damn, I wish you ate normal food. You don't like shrimp, mushrooms, beans of any kind, lentils, arborio rice, cabbage, sweet potatoes, peppers, cereal, butter, pork chops, polenta, oatmeal, goat cheese, quinoa, sandwiches, ricotta cheese, cottage cheese, bulgher, squash, most fruits, corn, meatloaf, mashed potatoes and the list goes on and on.

Basically, he survives on tacos and peanut butter, which is all well and good, except that I am hopelessly addicted to about a billion food websites that make me want to cook insane meals all the time. So, what happens is, I read a lot and we eat out a lot. I've got to figure out ways to introduce grown up ingredients without scaring him off. I guess if he doesn't like them, he doesn't like them, but who doesn't like lasagne? Risotto? MASHED POTATOES? Seriously.

I read these every day and lots others when I remember. Don't read if you're even remotely hungry.

Smitten Kitchen
Alexandra's Kitchen
Framed
The Kitchn
Serious Eats
Slashfood
La Tartine Gourmande
Orangette

This is why I love Emma Thompson

So, I turned 29 and all that shit.

Yup. Last week. The night before, the BF told me that he'd gotten us a hotel room in town for a night of luxury because my favorite thing to do is bitch about the poor quality of our mattress while refusing to do anything sensible about it, like, oh, purchase a new one. Because then what would I blame my intrinsic lethargy on, myself? No. Anyway, hotel room, yay! (Forgetting to make arrangements for dog, not so yay. So, Zeb came with us.) I was happy to fall asleep old and wake up older without back pain and with free breakfast! Woot!

I spent the rest of the day lazing about at home as I took the day off from work (we're not really allowed time in August since it's the start of the semester, so I played the birthday card) and went to dinner with the fam at Cheesecake Factory, a totally out of character choice for myself, but I dunno, it's what I wanted.

Which leads me to this terrible revelation. I have eaten out for eight (8) consecutive meals. At restaurants. Like full blown meals. There are several reasons for this, last four day work week Wednesday lunch celebration, pre-birthday dinner, all day birthday gluttony, and then the unexpected day trip (not good reasons, more on this later) which resulted in another all day eating binge. All of this leads me to this. I need these.