Wednesday, June 17, 2009

um. seriously?

Yesterday, after a mindnumbing 10.5 hours of work*, I commenced the long commute home, planning to veer my car toward the ol' homestead to walk my** dog with my mom to stretch out my legs after desk jockying for so long, but instead, ended up at happy hour with the BF. As I was sitting outside, drinking an IPA, feet up in the chair across from me, staring into the setting sun, I looked down at my chest, because, well, why not, it's awesome, and noticed something out of place.

At some point earlier in the day, I had been chewing gum. I don't know when I ceased chewing this gum. But, I guess I did, because there it was, stuck between the top of my dress and my cardigan. I thought, for a moment, maybe it's not mine! Maybe someone else threw their gum at my lady lumps. But no, it was green gum. I only chew green gum.

How did this happen? When did this happen? Was I talking to someone, and suddenly, the act of moving my chaw to masticate became too much of an effort and I simply let the gum drop out of my mought while I thought, huh.




*My job really isn't that bad. Sometimes days get long.
**This is my dog from high school who resides with my parents at their behest. I would prefer her to live with me. Claire, the dog, would prefer to eat bacon all day long.

4 comments:

Jess said...

Oh my God. Why didn't someone tell you? Or was it not visible to others?

I'm glad I'm not the only one who stares at my own rack. Shit. Everyone else does it. Why can't I?

Mr. Shain said...

question... by gum do you really mean taco?

thought so.

Matt said...

Gonna be honest, surprised this is the 1st time this has happened to you...

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