Monday, June 29, 2009

A Few Things:

1. A sink, unlike a vagina, is not self cleaning. Just because the nature of this apparatus is to contain soap and water and facilitate the cleaning of things, it does not mean that such actions will result in acceptable vessel cleanliness. You actually have to dump in some Comet (I like Bon Ami, but it's not sold in Norman grocery stores) and scrub the sink. I know, counter intuitive. But try it.

2. I sliced my thumb open yesterday with the new chef's knife I bought upon recommendation from Cooks Illustrated - it's the Victorinox 8" Chef's Knife with Fibrinox handle. The knife is freaking awesome at only $25. The slit in my thumb is not. My boyfriend has a JD, which, during medical situations, is apparently akin to an MD. Who knew?

3. I now own Diane Von Furstenburg luggage courtesy of Mom approved retail therapy. Now, for somewhere to go...

4. MJ was most likely a child predator. How come we are forgetting this?

5. Should I bother going to Dfest? My beloved Cake will be there.

6. It's Lacey's* birthday! She's younger than me, but much more accomplished. I should've called her about my injury instead of my lawyer.

7. Stoned wallabies!

8. In spite of simultaneous over and underwatering, our garden has produced several green tomatoes and a few baby peppers! Woo! Soon, I will be forced into consuming fresh vegetables out of guilt. Boo.

9. Lacey's birthday reminds me that mine will arrive shortly. I remember freaking out when I turned 26. I'll bet my 26 year old self is feeling stupid because now I'm turning 30 - 2, which is a much bigger deal because I am unmarried, unchilded and unPhD'd.

10. I need more workout/running songs. Seriously, all I can bust it to is Beyonce. There has to be an alternative. If I hear "Single Ladies" one more time... I will break into a weird robut dance.

11. Speaking of robuts, whatever happened to David Cross?

12. I'm breaking up with Mark Kurlansky. After struggling, literally, for years to finish Salt, I attempted to spice it up a bit by bringing The Food Of A Younger Land into the bedroom. Total backfire. Either I'm not as cerebral/hipster as I thought or he's overhyped. I prefer to go with the latter, but suspect the former is true.

13. I am dreading the 4th of July, as it is the New Years of the summer. I'm not a "lake person" and that appears to be the only option in these parts. Thoughts? Comments? Concerns?

*If you have not yet read her blog, you should. She is far more entertaining than I in that she is actually capable of entertainment.


John said...

I wish I had known about the J.D./M.D. equivalence. Would have saved on a couple of trips to the emergency room.

GERBEN said...

For running music, try Indestructible by Disturbed. Always gets me pumped!

blythe said...

john - i know, i had no idea until i was in peril. he turned out to be quite handy and now won't shut up about it. i'm going to get him a name placque:

Dr. Keaton Q. Blank, BS, JD, Esq. At Law

gerben - i shall try it. i must admit, though, i'm a lightweight when it comes to alternative music.

GERBEN said...

LOL, that's cool. But the video even makes me want to RUN!

Michael5000 said...

Does Bon Ami work on vaginas? I understand it "hasn't scratched yet," so that seems like a good sign.

You could resolve #s 3 & 5 as a twofer by packing for Dfest in your Diane Von Furstenburg luggage.

How did that 4th of July go?