Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Monsturd!*


I work in a basement. We call it the Garden Level. However, it's still a basement. The bathroom in this basement is cold, dank and has terrible lighting, I hope. God, I hope. It also has a scary drain in the middle of the floor, under which, I imagine lives a monster. A smelly monster. Not smelly in a poo way, per se, but in a moldy, generally icky way. I brought in some Glade products earlier in the year, but turns out they were stinkier than the drain monster. Point is, I don't go in there unless I absolutely have to, but that's a lot since I have a bladder the size of something very small [will insert comparison later]. Every few trips or so, I notice that there's an interloper in our mole midst. What are these women doing, wandering about the bowels of the building? Crapping. It's got to be. They totally go downstairs to the monster bathroom to poo out of shame. Well, I'm totally onto them. I could go on about how women are weird about pooing, but we're all familiar with that song and dance, so I will let it be and give them the evil eye.
*I actually watched this movie on purpose one time. For real.

4 comments:

skins96 said...

This is not a phenomenon limited to women.

Michael5000 said...

You know, I'm not sure I actually DO know about how women are weird about pooing.

But I'm OK with that.

Alexis said...

I used to jump off the toilet when I was little after I saw Jaws. You know, just in case...

Colleen said...

How did I not know this movie existed until now.