Monday, July 07, 2008

Ah haz no readerz/America's barfday/Songs I like/Fancy Feat, etc.

I haz no readerz

I see how it is. I actually have fewer readers now than I did when I initially started blogging. Amazing, isn't it? On the upside, I've decided this means I have free reign to post whaeverthefuck I want. Watch out!

America's barfday

Oh, Fourth of July, New Year's Eve of the summer. I never have the right plans. There were no hotdogs, no lake, no beer even this year. I did watch Norman's abysmal fireworks show from the roof of the stadium parking lot where some hipster tweens were blasting My Morning Jacket. Turns out, MMJ is a good soundtrack for loving America. Next, I found myself at a river lighting far too large fireworks in darkness. So maybe it wasn't so bad.

Songs I like

These two diddies have caught my ear as the ethereal, ephemeral, euphoric sounds of summer:

Fancy Feat

I have a roommate. He has a cat. Zatara and I get along ok, when he is not trying to put his sphincter in my face. What I have a problem with is the fact that the roommate refuses to stop feeding Fancy Feast to Zatara in spite of the rancid butt volcano it inspires. Last night, I made a delightful shrimp curry accompanied by a potato/garam masala/onion/garlic/pea concoction not unlike the innerds of a samosa because I had no basmati rice. Needless to say, the place stunk. Like a lot. But not as much as when roommate makes tuna helper. As I was sitting on the couch trying to figure out why I was actually laughing at moments of Drillbit Taylor, I had a rare stroke of brilliance. I'm not sure how I knew this, but I was suddenly aware that a small can of Sunkist is exactly the same size as a can of Fancy Feast. Moments later, the BF was removing with surgical precision, the labels from each can. He then adhered the Starkist label to the Fancy Feast can with perfection.

Observation #78

The other night, I made the comment to a coworker that my blog has died because all I can come up with are dumbass musings that no one cares about. I then realized that is pretty much the basis for any blog and that I should just go for it. Here's what I'd come up with: there are two kinds of people in this world. The kind who buy soda in liter bottles, and the kind who are sensible and don't. The advantages of the three liter have always been a mystery to me. If you want to drink brown, flat liquid, why not just drink what's left in your coffee pot or a Guinness. Seriously, unless you are chaperoning a seventh grade dance and need to fill a bucket with ginger ale and orange juice, there is simply no need for liter bottles. Later that night, I came home to a three liter of Diet Coke sitting on my kitchen table proferred by the BF. I'm not sure where to go from here.


There are lots of kinds of vacations, I am learning. A staycation is where you stay home from work, but go nowhere interesting, instead preferring to catch up on laundry and Maury. A mancation is where dudebros go to Vegas and get lap dances and STDs. There are probably other kinds, but I'd rather talk about my upcoming lamecation. I am going to Galveston, TX with my mother next weekend. The "resorts" and "hotels" actually provide you with wipes for tar removal.


I am hopelessly addicted to Battlestar Galactica. Please don't judge.

I am reading In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto. Read it before you go to the grocery store.


Mr. Shain said...

as long as i don't have to hear about you read salt anymore i'm happy. i buy sodas in cans. also, facebook was out of control this weekend.

Dan said...

Michael Pollan ruined my life. And I've never read a page. And I never will. Hasta las hot dogs siempre!

Big Daddy said...

What about 1 liter bottles?

Michael5000 said...

a delightful shrimp curry accompanied by a potato/garam masala/onion/garlic/pea concoction not unlike the innerds of a samosa

That sounds insanely awesome. How come you never invite me over for dinner?

speedysari said...

you totally haz readerz. i, in fact, am a new one. so rejoice, because thy blog hath not completely perished. (yes, i just used lolcat-speak and bible-speak in the same comment.)

Julie_Gong said...

i need an update on the fancy feat. asap!

John said...

I will be the first to mention the "Starkist" vs. "Sunkist" discrepancy in the fancy feast section. I don't know if anyone would be fooled into thinking orange pop was cat food (or vise versa).

Anyway, it'll be hilarious.

John said...

Also, please no one divulge the identity of the final Psilon (the DVDs are only available up to the third season and that's where I've stopped for now).

Thirsty Reader said...

You're right. Two-liters are for suckers. They last about three hours, then the carbonation is gone. Pathetic.