Cringesday: Remember when we were young?

My darling little 9 or 11 year old cousin (There are so many, I forget exact ages, ok? Sue me.) just sent this to me. She discovered email a few weeks back and I've been bombarded with little snippets into her world ever since. Her missives sometimes crack me up, sometimes break my heart, but always make me glad I've grown up (theoretically). I've drafted about 300 responses and none of them seem to convey anything useful, including instead helpful advice like "you'd better quit band now if you ever want a boyfriend" or "stressed out!? try a pregnancy scare then call me back about 'stressed out'" and "definitely keep playing basketball even if your teammates hate you and you're on a losing team because no one likes a fatty." So you see, I need your help. What do I say?

Hey Blythe, Whats up? We had to play our instruments for a bonfire a couple of days ago. It was so much fun! How are things going at your place? Hope your having fun at your school. Speaking of school, we had a couple of b-ball games over the past couple of days. Out of three games,we only lost both. But then yesterday we had another game: The 5 and 6 grade girls won, the 5 and 6 grade boys won, and the high school girls lost.[ aww man!] Enough about me, what about you? I'm so stressed out! There is so many things going on at our school. Your friends all reject you, then you are told that you're not a starter, and there is so many things to be mad about! Well, I gotta go and do my laundry. Talk to you later! Love you!

It's Friday, I'm in Love

with lovin.' Sweet, sweet lovin.' It doesn't take much to get a girl like me into bed e.g. a (1) PBR, kind(ish) glance, the promise of cheese flavored corn chips, etc, but it takes a lot almost nothing to keep me there. Hey, a girl has needs. I am a girl. Ergo needs. Or whatever. My needs are best met in the presence of the following albums. In the words of Ron Burgundy, my hero: "that's baby making music that's what that is."

1. Astral Weeks - Van Morrison: Need I say more? This is a sure way into my pants. I mean heart. The heart of my pants.

2. Kind of Blue - Miles Davis: Again, not much to be said here. Fuckin' genius.

3. Lovers Rock - Sade: It's freakin' Sade. She's the definition of sexytime music. Come on. Seriously.

4. Heartbreaker - Ryan Adams: Because I'll always have a little indie rocker in me. Well, hopefully not too little. ZING! (God, I hope my mother - or anyone for that matter - isn't reading this.)

5. Mutations - Beck: Perfect for space sex.

6. Between The Lines - Janis Ian: Weird choice, I know. That is all.

In which I have to make my own sort of Sophie's choice

I suppose I shouldn't joke about such things, but it's kinda true. I woke up this morning to birds chirping, the smell of coffee and a general good mood. Actually, that's not true. It was a car alarm, the smell of wine from the glass left next to my bed and I'm in a pissy mood. You know why? 1) Not that this is news to anyone, but the final Sopranos episode airs tonight (Holy crapballs! I can't believe it's finally here!). It's going to be so good, I'm pretty sure it'll make me want to kill myself. 2) The Hold Steady show is tonight. AT THE SAME TIME! I'm honestly conflicted. Sure, I can watch the Sopranos later, but I kinda need to watch it along with the rest of America so that I can immediately start talking shit about it and/or collapse into a sobbing pile in my living room floor. But I've also been super excited about this damn show for weeks now because I am a dork. I mean, come on! Craig Finn! At this point, I really don't know what I'll do. Maybe miss a few songs and risk shitty seats/standing area? Oh God. Just kill me now. In the meantime, I should probably drink something. It's Sunday, right? Mimosas and Bloody Marys!

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