Sometimes, I think*

that acquaintances, coworkers, friends and family in the OK would understand me a lot better (not that anyone wants to) if they had a better grasp on just what it means to have attended Smith College. Not that it's some high falutin' ivory tower full of monied ladies with brains and that I'm a brilliant feminist, but that it's a shitshow. A SHITSHOW PEOPLE. I say that in the nicest way possible. Moving from one of the most liberal places in OK to Noho is like [insert outrageously opposite analogy here]. Examples include:

• Ladies who are dudes at a women's college.
• Friday afternoon tea service in your residence.
• Opening your dorm room door to naked cartwheel night.
• Showing porn in a college owned auditorium (I showed up for what I thought was an independent film, but at least now I can say I've seen The Opening of Misty Beethoven on the big screen).
• And so many other things I'll never know about since I spent half of my four years there at Dartmouth (oops).

In any case, someone's doing a good job of reminding me of why I'm so screwed up over at Smith'd a blog by Smithies about Smithies. Thanks!





*rarely, though. Don't worry.

Zack Harrison Memorial Music Monday: Look outside - it's fall(!) edition.

Today is October 1. This means several things. Pumpkin themed beers (that you can't get in Oklahoma), crisp days and cool nights (well, anywhere but Oklahoma - it's still in the 80s here), and the promise of a victory each Saturday afternoon (except in Oklahoma if you're a Sooners fan) - wait, fall fucking sucks! In honor of this season that in classic Chinese poetry represents death:

Autumn Sweater - Yo La Tengo

Dead Leaves And The Dirty Ground - White Stripes

Love You In The Fall - Paul Westerberg

Leaves - The Postmarks

Autumn Almanac - The Kinks (Dan)

I Got Drunk - Uncle Tupelo (Garrett) - interperative

Any and/or all Neko Case (Dre) - perhaps it's her red hair? she does sound like fally.

Indian Summer - Beat Happening or Luna (5 of 9er)

October - U2 (M5K)

September Morn - Neil Diamond (M5k)

Harvest Moon - Neil Diamond (me)

November Rain - GNR (me)

Ok, I didn't get too far, huh. What else? What makes a perfect fall playlist?

While you're thinking, head on over to Meg's to catch the latest episode of Blog of Love.

Blog of Love: Round 6 (fine, I admit that I have no idea what round we're on - happy?)

Bad news. Our little Megster is in LA hanging out with Lauren and Whitney (no Heidi or Spencer), so she's leaving this round in my very (in)capable hands. Don't fret, we had several gmailchat convos and have reached our conclusions, you just have to suffer through my telling of the news:

In the Meg Column we have:

Winner:
Dan of [redacted] fame. Yes, he came late to the game and hasn't been back since, but if you look closely, he's blessed our little operation with a comment (#107). Good enough for the win. This time.

Earning a date:
Actually, I forgot to ask her about this little category, so refer to my picks.

And you're done:
Sorry TK. Too bad Wisconsin beat Iowa.

Way to quit blogging Mike. Middeadsternerinnyc.

And finally, Amish. WTF man. Somehow you got a bye through last round, then you didn't even step anywhere near the plate.

Bee-Spot Bye Bye:

Let me first say, this is really, really hard. Like harder than the SATs and finding a one bedroom apartment that allows dogs combined. Harder than reading The Daily Oklahoman or getting that stupid Feist iPod song out of your head. I've become really attached to you kids. Well, not so much you as the insincere attention that has been lavished upon me. I had a difficult childhood. Also, I suffered the consequences of my decision last week and am a little afraid of what is to come.

Secondly, let me say that I apologize for the delay. I've had a lot going on lately. Like today, I had to take a nap after work, wake up, order mu shu pork with one eggroll, eat it, roll on my floor with my dog, try Sierra Nevada's Anniversary Ale (save your $$ - sucks!), then watch Bush talk about the state of American education by saying something fucktarded like "our childrens are learning." Then I had to repeat the whole mu shu pork/beer/rolling around with dog combo to take my mind off things. But, here I am. Aren't you lucky? No? Fair enough.


We have a winner:
Jeff Weiss is a consummate blogger, insightful layman's musicologist, mindreader. Seriously boys. This guy stepped it up a notch. Wait for it ... we are now Facebook friends - how he knew this was the key to my blog heart, I know not. I think Crimenotes (who did give us a little shout out this week - props) and Jeff might have to fight this one out. Since one of you is in LA and the other in NYC, might I suggest you do the fighting in say, Norman, Oklahoma? Just a thought.

Not far behind:
d - I think he offered up sexual favors. Also, he's good at music picking. And nose picking. Two of my favorite things.

Garrett - for the effective use of blackmail. Well done, well done.

A special category:
Jebus almost got the boot for pretty much making a girl cry on a date. As expected though, Jebus redeemed himself with a few well chosen photos (but hey, let's get serious, are those tapered leg jeans? Also, you know I'm a sucker for anything that comes in a bowl, you...).

I've got some bad news:

It might be petty, but really, do you expect more of me? Sorry The Lost Ogle boys. You're out. But only because you're so much better than me and I'm so fragile. Hope you enjoy your bloggie.

I don't know you, Todd, but Meg mentioned offing you because of your marriage, and on second thought, that's good enough for me too. This blog is not a place of happiness.

Which leads me to you, Clinton. You and Girlfriend are my heroes. Drinkers, lovers, eater of burritos - all around happy in your couplehood. And as such, you must go.

Honorable mention, since Meg didn't have near winners: Shain and Alex, way to fill my real life with, with something? Mostly insults, tranfats (Shain) and cigarettes (Alex).

There you have it.

ZHMMM/Cringesday/Blove Date #1

For all of the loyal readers of Bee-Spot prior to this Blove business, I haven't forgotten you (mom and Grace). This is like 2 in 1 shampoo. A good idea in theory, but not really effective. Also, there are three parts.

Zack Harrison Memorial Music Monday: Random Road Trip.

Obvs, I haven't had much time to load up on new music, but I did drive to Dallas and back this weekend, which afforded me much time to listen to what I have. Behold my ipod's top plays:

Sleeping Lessons - The Shins [via The Devil Has The Best Tuna]

Back In Your Head - Tegan and Sara [music is art]

Silver Lining - Rilo Kiley [the leather canary]

Little Boxes - Malvina Reynolds [MOKB]

Community - Mirah and the Spectratone International [song by toad]

Georgia - The 1900s [Planeta Pop]

Gotta Have You - The Weepies [The World Forgot]

Be Mine Everyone - Sam Champion [Stereogum]

Acceptable in the 80s - Calvin Harris [Hipster Runoff]

The Ride - Joan As Police Woman [The Late Greats]

Akron/Family - Gone Beyond [Aquarium Drunkard]

I have no idea if these songs are cool, played out, hated or loved by Pitchfork - I just simply like them.

Cringesday: Grace is going to eat delicious delicious sushi at Masa tomorrow night so I will embarrass her edition.

G's on the right. She's at her little bro's wedding scaring the bride with potential genetics.

Blove - Date #1:

Tonight, I was surprised to receive and then ignore a text message from a one Mr. Shain. Is said simply, dinner? Who am I to say no to that? He called and let me know he was on his way. Also, to let me know I should bring a camera to record our "date." When he picked me up, he actually came to the door and met my parents. He might have shaken hands with my dad, who, thank God, had pants on for once (he's a boxers past 5 kinda guy). Soon, we were on our way to The Cheesecake Factory all the way in The City! Talk about special. It was weird, though, especially when his boyfriend called and we had a threeway convo via speakerphone. Hmm. It got worse when, upon entering the restaurant, Shain asked if horizontal stripes were really the best look for me. Finally, after the waiter had recited the daily specials, one of which was salmon, Shain shamed him by asking him where said salmon was from. Date over! Actually, all was redeemed as we listened and sang along with Belle and Sebastian all the way home. Seriously, it doesn't take much to please me.

Appetizers: wine, fried macaroni and cheese, boobs.

Entree: Girly sandwich. I had a burger.

Dessert: Actually, Shain made me roll down the window and take this pic of a sign in my neighborhood. Then he said to post it. He might be too controlling to win.

Blog of Love: Round 1.

You all have been very patient. I appreciate that. I have a real job that sometimes (rarely or maybe just today) requires my full attention, also, I needed to eat a lot of Mexican food tonight (sexy, yes?). So, without further delay, I'll let Meg start (oh, p.s. we decided (actually, Meg did because she's the one that really watches the show) that each week there will be one "winner" a few close behinds and then three losers - except this week since Lozo/Lamo requested to be removed and I forgot to add a 16th person because I have trouble with numbers):

DMBMeg's pick for Day One of Blog of Love:

Winner: Jebus H Christ. [Golf clap]

I know, this may come as no shock to some of you (cough, cough, CrimeNotes), but Jebus was the ONLY one to email Blythe and I privately--and he included pictures of big doggies eating ice cream. Every self respecting ladies man knows the quickest way to a woman's heart is with animals. That being said, he also wrote a ridiculously hilarious post for the first time in 5 weeks (dude, the guy came to mother-fucking play). However moot the post is now after our Hawkeyes heartbreaking (no words) loss to Iowa State this weekend, it still made me laugh more than anything written anywhere else--and that my friends, is the key to dmbmeg's pants. (HINT)

Runner's Up for Group Date:

TK- TK kind of stole the show in the comments section of my post last week. If you follow the thread, it appears he attempted to go to a bar to meet up with Dan. It's always good to be reassured when I'm Quietly Judging you and Blog of Love bring the world together for peace, love, harmony, and two-hole sex in the bathroom.

East Village Idiot: He has the biggest technorati rating of them all, and he isn't afraid to use it. My traffic increased by approximately 20% on Thursday. He also tried to comfort me last night from my sports depression by telling me I could always join the Red Sox Nation with him. Um, thanks, but no thanks. For reals though, good luck against those Yankees. You guys are going to need it (except for Beckett. That guy is nasssty.)

Business or Leisure: Only cause I got his link wrong, and I feel kind of bad.

Notable Mention: Alex. He warmly accepted my request to take a ride on the Sooner Train. It's a bad year to be in the Big 10 (unless you go to Penn State)

Don't let the door hit you on the way out:

Flop: Your a jackass for correkting my grammer/speling. I rote that poste in 10 minuts. Give me a brake.

Mortarbored: Yeah, no matter how good the ratings are, I still have my pride. Plus, I also received emails threatening, "If he lasts longer than me I will cut your tits off." 'Nuff said.

So, there it is fellas. Show me what you got. Winners get a 2nd round bye for turning up the awesome this week.

Bee-Spot picks (her nose):

UPDATE: The VTK Kid is well on his way to winning this whole thing. I'm teling you. Bar is SET!

Winner: This week's gonna have to go to the VTK kid, Dan. Not only because he spent the weekend documenting his trip to my former home, Northampton, MA so I could live vicariously through him (that's what you were doing, right?), but he put up a pretty good front for the Bee-Spot side of things in Meg's comments section culminating in the offer/threat of a drinking throwdown. I might be in love. This week.

Runners Up:
1. Jebus for the pics, obvs. Puppies!


2. EVI - Dude! I have seriously been envying linkage for nearly a year now. My hits have gone through the roof! I'm up like 200%, which brings the total to 8. Pretty effing sweet. So, to answer the age old question, Technorati size does matter.

3. POW - Never ever did I think that this venerable blogger with maybe the best musical taste this side of Pitchfork (I kid! I mean about Pitchfork) would stop by our respective heaps. I'm still in shock. Also, I just noticed that he's got a picture of Teen Wolf up. Swoon.



Honorable mention: CrimeNotes for accurate predictions and self-fulfilling prophecies.
UPDATE: This just in. I mean this picture. Well done, Crimenotes. Well done.

We regret to inform you:
1. Copyranter - Yes, this was a long shot, but the others have come through, so the tiny remaining kernel of hope in my hollowed out soul thought just maybe, maybe... but no. See ya sucker! Ok, I'm still 10,000% behind you on capri pants. We'll always have capri pants.

2. Michael5k - Don't get me wrong. You're a great guy, plus you're supporting my Sooners and let me win things (two of my favorites). However, after a long talk with Mrs. 5k, it was decided to give you the boot.

On the bubble:
Cherry, that was a close one! You were totally on the short bus, I mean list. If you go MIA again, you've let Shain win. And no one wants that. Especially me. Plus, you have bitch tits. And I'm a bitch with tits. Too much in common to let you go so soon.

Pretty good showing boys, pretty good showing, but do you have what it takes to stick it out and win, what did we decide? Threesome? Nothing? The leftover amounts on the gift cards I got at Christmas? Well, in any case, bring it.