Sunday, August 26, 2007

Everything That's Happened To Me Since Wednesday or, Sorry to Disappoint, Crimenotes:

1. Work has kicked my ass. But I also might be offered a new job, which would result in less ass kickings and more $$. In the meantime, I am boring.

2. Ultimate extreme tragedy struck. My cell phone finally bit it. Bitch snapped in half. I, of course, followed suit. I had a total and utter meltdown Friday night that resulted in me drinking margaritas at Chili's. In a related story, I have lost everyone's numbers. To most, this would be absolutely devastating, but for me, it's ok, since I only have like three friends. But if you want me to call you or not screen your call since I won't recognize your number, send me an email with your digits, yo.

3. My dad runs on bacon. Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights, my dad somehow managed to incorporate bacon into every meal prepared at the old homestead (no, Shain, I wasn't eating it - jerk didn't ask me if I wanted any). Now, don't get me wrong, I love me some bacon, but it's not really all that sexy to go out smelling like Waffle House.

4. See ya C-tina! C-tina made her brief, but triumphant return to Nompton before she departed for Slovakia for 10 months. We ate quiche at La Baguette just like the old days. We bought too much food at Forward Foods. We wandered around Guest Room Records for an hour. I bought Whatever and Ever Amen and was amazed that I still know every word to every song. We had ninth grade in my bedroom. It was wonderful.

5. I saw a movie. And a good one. I think. I might be the only one, though. Eagle vs. Shark played at the Oklahoma City Museum of Art. I was obligated to like it because Jemaine Clement is in it, so. Also, there were shark and eagle costumes. And most importantly, a supremely awkward relationship. All of those things are near and dear to my heart. The theater was really quiet, so I had to stifle my laughter quite a bit. That, plus my desperate need to pee, but refusal to get up proved to be a multi-media viewing experience. I'm fairly certain my viewing companion thought I was having a seizure. Which is cute right? No? If you can, see this movie. You'll like it. Oh, and then I went to this bar you'd also like. It's called Edna's. You can drink something called a Lunchbox. At first, I thought Edna's Lunchbox was akin to the Houston Ham Sandwich or Cincinnati Bow-Tie and was quite skeptical of the suggestion (but hey - I'll try anything once), but it's actually a delicious, yet cheap drink. That and other beverages required a trip to the bathroom. Which was fun, since there was only one stall and it had no door. Nothing like having to ask a random girl to guard your front. I did get felt up, though. I somehow always do in the ladies room. I dunno.

6. I bought a book. It's by Anthony Bourdain, of course. Is it weird I only read it before bed so I can dream of not (only) him, but the food?

7. I am contemplating the end of this blog. I am either depressed or thinking about being happy. I am no longer wallowing in abject misery, which seemed to be what worked best. What do you think?

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am contemplating the end of this blog.

I started a fucking trend! Myself, I think happy blogging makes for better blogging.

Cole Slaw Blog has a new opening. You could write with Flop.

blythe said...

replacing dreams of my imaginary BF bourdain with thoughts of blogging for cole-slaw.

JHC said...

Google Reader thinks you already quit. You're not really going to quit, are you? Where will I get my whimsy and pictures with obscured faces and less than hideous feet and music and Mr Shain comments?

dmbmeg said...

Oh yes,

And Dear Seth Rogen-
thanks for stealing my favorite term of endearment, "assface," for your not funny movie, Superbad.

-Megan

Mr. Shain said...

mr. shain [chanting]: QUIT, QUIT, QUIT, QUIT, QUIT...

Anonymous said...

Perhaps there is a rehab for those trying to quit blogging.

JulieGong said...

you quit i quit.

dmbmeg said...

If she quits, we will all quit. IT'LL BE ANARCHY!

blythe said...

jhc - i don't know, dude. have you noticed how much this thing's been blowing lately? seriously. i don't think there's enough whimsey left in me.

dmbmeg - yay team assface quitters! wait, you didn't like superbad?

mr. shain - shut up. shut up. shut up.

sru - well, rehab is the new awesome.

julie - you can't quit! what would i do at work all day?

blythe said...

dmbmeg - it is what all the "cool" kids are doing... do they know something we don't? what's the new blog? has there been a ny mag article about it yet?

Dan Nolan said...

Correction: it IS really all that sexy to go out smelling like Waffle House.

Michael5000 said...

Don't quit the blog. It amuses me.

JHC said...

It's just a slump. It's the summer doldrums. You'll be fine.

Mr. Shain said...

to crimenotes: technically quit before you did. so really, you followed my trend. just to be technical. technically.

dmbmeg said...

Yes, I am one of the few people who didn't really laugh at Superbad.

And don't ask me what the cool kids are doing. I spend my days switching back and forth between Page Six and Perez Hilton.

Christopher said...

3. That's where you're wrong. Nothing is sexier than bacon. Nothing.

blythe said...

i'm really pleased to know that bacon smell is sexy. maybe i'll work on marketing something to bath and body works and make my much needed millions. i did work for yankee candle, you know - perhaps the pinnacle of their collection will be weekend bacon instead of clean cotton. can i tell you how much i hate clean cotton? hate it! i reeked for 8 months and i worked at headquarters - not even a store or the manufacturing plant. good god that was awful.

maybe i should quit commenting, too.

and then i found $5.

d said...

i think it's the summer doldrums. i haven't been inspired to blog much either.

just wait until college bball season. then this bitch is sewn up.

p.s. don't quit. i'll lose touch with what all the cool kids are talking about.

blythe said...

d- college baseball season? but that's in forever? keep documenting your climbs so i can live through you. sometimes, i can't stand to read because of my jealousy.

p.s. you must have me confused with someone else. this blog is devoid of cool.

d said...

you blaspheme! baseball!?!

try basketball. and not in forever. just a couple of months. trust me, you'll get really sick of me talking about the jayhawks, etc.

oh no. trust me. compared to me, you have infinite cool.

blythe said...

why did i think that? apparently, i cannot read by 10am. WTF man? color me embarrassed. oh yeah, you're from KS.

uh. sure... whatever you say... if only you knew me in real life. i'm already in my pj's waiting for a rerun of the fresh prince of bel-air to come on while i work on a cardigan i'm knitting for my british pen pal.